WWF 1998 Review

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Crippler

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Mania season fuckery is over, and so is my vacation. LET'S GET IT! Just continuing the theme of 1997 with this being 20 years ago. So yeah.

Odds on me finishing this before Keith even starts one of his reviews :side:
 
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WWF Champion: Shawn Michaels
WWF Intercontinental Champion: The Rock
WWF Tag Team Champions: The New Age Outlaws
WWF European Champion: HHH
WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: TAKA Michinoku

WWF RAW is WAR
January 5th, 1998
New Haven, Connecticut

Stone Cold is in the parking lot, he says word going around the locker room is that everyone is gunning for him. He says he strokes first and everyone in that locker room has a pager and sees that 316 on the screen so their ass belongs to him. He says sit back and watch him raise hell like only he can.

Commentary: Jim Ross, Michael Cole & Kevin Kelly :Kobe:

Faarooq (w/D'Lo Brown & Kama Mustafa) vs. Ken Shamrock
UGH! First match in and guys are in matching color attire. I almost quit. Faarooq jumps Ken as he enters the ring, but that only lasts so about 10 seconds before Ken fires back with punches. Faarooq comes back with blows to Ken's injured sternum and works over it. He also keeps throwing Ken to the floor so the Nation can attack but they never do, either they just roll him in or just stand over. Eventually, the Rock comes out and gives Kama and D'Lo orders. D'lo's facial expressions are great as he's confused on why the Rock is giving him orders. He sends D'Lo and Kama onto the other side of the ring, so when the camera is on him it's solely on him :lmao Kama brings in a chair but he accidentally hits Faarooq with it and Ken hits the belly-2-belly and applies the Ankle Lock for the win. **1/4

After the match; Kama ad Faarooq argue on the floor as the Rock enters the ring, BUT AUSTIN COMES OUT AND STUNS Rocky and Shamrock before leaving through the crowd.

Michael Cole says Kane and Paul Bearer have been having problems and believes Kane has left him.

Tonight
Paul Bearer talks
Owen Hart vs. Savo Vega
Exclusive Footage of Shawn/Taker Badd Blood first time shown on TV
DX calls out the Undertaker
DON KING TALKS ABOUT MIKE TYSON'S INVOLVEMENT IN WRESTLEMANIA 14

Jim Cornette is in the ring with 2 guys in suits, one of the gentlemen is holding a title belt. Jim says he's been ranting about the lack of respect for old-school wrestling, and a lack of respect for tradition so seeing how no one else will he will take matters into his hands. he introduces the two men, the President and Vice President of the NWA. He says the NWA stand for tradition and says the next match will be for the NWA North American Heavyweight title.

NWA North American Heavyweight Championship: Barry Windham vs. Jeff Jarrett
Short and not very good, it's a Jeff match so he does all his low rate stuff and taunts after. He does somewhat make up for it with his bumping. Windham clearly is past his 80's goodness but he puts on a good effort here, lots of high impact moves and strikes. Windham goes for a superplex but Jim slides into the ring and nails him in the back with the racket. He still hits the move but the attack wore him out so Jeff puts his arm on top and wins. BLAH! *3/4

After the match; Jeff celebrates....................BUT AUSTIN IS BACK HE HITS THE STUNNER AND THE STUT! FUCK YEAH!

3Zsde1X.gif

Backstage: Ken Shamrock cuts a promo, he says Austin is a marked man, but so is he. He wants it to come down to them being the final two so they can settle this.

Sunny comes out for her weekly, we've got nothing for you so just announce a random match segment.

The Truth Commission (Snipper & Recon w/Jackyl) vs. The DOA (Skull/8-Ball)
NOPE!

D-Generation X comes down to the ring, Hunter is in a wheelchair and is being wheeled down to the ring by Chyna. JR says Hunter cracked his knee bone 8 days ago and will get surgery on it this week. Hunter keeps looking at Chyna's tits. He says it's like the Sun. You know you're not supposed to look at it, but once you do, you can't turn away. He says Owen Hart has officially gone from the hunter to the hunted. He came out here and he was hurling threats at them and there were some pretty strong words said with such conviction. He was scared, for a bit. But Owen didn't have the goods to back up his words and stepped up to the plate without a bat, so he had to supply the lumber. And for all the ladies, because there's more wood where that came from. He challenges Owen to come out here and float back to the surface so he can flush him one more time. He says he'll call Shawn and Chyna off. Owen then appears on the tron, He says he's so cocky like he achieved something. He had Shawn Michaels last week, and this is getting really ugly and personal. Lucky for him, he has compassion in this black heart, and he wants him to heal his knee up to 100%, so he can break his other one. Hunter says to watch his back because DX is bigger than all of them.

Recap of Austin's night so far.

WELCOME TO THE WARZONE

Jerry Lawler joins JR for commentary.

Savio Vega (w/Los Boricuas) vs. Owen Hart
Savio wearing cargo jeans over his wring attire is fucking crazy. Cargo jeans, in general, are crazy. But back to the match, it's pretty much an Owen showcase on offense and bumping. DX come out on the stage to watch on, which distracts Owen allowing Savio to take over for a bit, he still sucks like he did for 99% of 1997. Very basic on offense and boring. Owen seems motivated so that rules. Boricuas get involved from the floor so a ref from the back comes out to send them to the back, but they refuse and just argue. Owen hits the spinning kick and locks in the Sharpshooter but one of the Boricuas escapes and gets on the apron so Owen knocks him off and hits the Oklahoma roll-up for the win. **1/4

After the match; Owen tries to run up the ramp but the Boricuas attack him from behind, they beat him down and drag him to DX at the top of the ramp. Hunter pays them off and begins slapping Owen before officials and refs come out to stop it.

Paul Bearer comes out, for some reason he's coming out to Taker's music. Poor Paul Bearer looks a mess like he hasn't slept in a week. Paul says he hopes Shawn Michaels destroys him at the Rumble and curses the ground he walks on. I HATE YOUR GUTS! He blames Taker for the reason he lost HIS Kane, he says Taker's actions has poisoned his mind, Paul says he can't find him and has searched everywhere. KANE, I KNOW YOU ARE WATCHING! I TOOK CARE OF YOU! COME HOME! PLEASE!

Backstage: Stone Cold Steve Austin leaves a room and the cameraman goes inside to see the Headbangers checking on a beat up Mark Henry.

Fuckin' Sable/Mero/Brandi video package airs. DAFUCKS!

Marc Mero (w/Sable) vs. Tom Brandi
Outside Mero's body blows which I think I'm the only one that likes them, this is garbage. Crowd chants for Sable 90% of the match, and when they're not doing that they are deader than my chances at banging sable and sunny in 1998. At one point, Mero falls onto Sable on the floor and she hurts her leg, Mero doesn't care cause fuck that thot. While Brandi is a simp and tries to carry her to the back :lmao Mero throws him into the steps and hits the TKO in the ring, he goes for another but AUSTIN COMES THROUGH THE CROWD AND HITS MERO WITH A STUNNER CAUSING THE DQ. Austin eyes up Sable on the floor but leaves.



Flash Funk vs. The Artest Formerly Known As Goldust (w/Luna)
Goldust is clearly all drugged up and has clearly stopped trying in the ring, Funk does whay he can but it's 2 minutes of nothing. Luna gets involved causing the DQ. After the match; Goldust hit the certain call, but Vader comes down and chases Goldust out of the ring.

Steve Blackman video package

Chainsaw Charlie's debut last week airs.

The New Age Outlaws come down to the ring, Road Dogg does his intro he almost has it down but it's not totally all the way there yet.

The New Age Outlaws vs. The Headbangers
This, so yeah, it's not bad but watching it just felt weird. Like the Headbangers I don't wanna say play heel but they control and lead the majority of the match. So the crowd is completely taken out of it. Godwins come out towards the end to watch on, Mosh and Dogg low blow one another as they both go for dropkicks but get pathetic hight and just kick one another in the dicks :lmao Thrasher cleans house after a tag as the match breaks down. Headbangers hit the double flapjack but miss the stage dive double team and Gunn senton's drops for the win.

After the match; Cactus and Chainsaw come out and run the Outlaws off. I said the scariest thing in sports is getting a Hockey puck to the face, the 2nd must be Terry Funk swinging a chainsaw around with a pair of tights covering his face.

Don King is in his headquarters in Ft. Lauderdale. He says his creative juices are flowing like never before and they're about to bring WrestleMania and Mike Tyson together for the great PPV explosion they've ever seen. He says they still have to sign things, but when he and Vince McMahon get it together, they'll bring you one of the greatest shows on Earth on March 29th. Stay informed! Stay in tune! Because they have an affordable pleasure at an affordable price and a pleasure you can't afford to miss.

WRESTLEMANIA XIV: 12 WEEKS

Video Package showing highlights from Shawn/Taker Hell In A Cell match from Bad Blood 1997 :mark:

D-Generation X's music hits, but Shawn Michaels comes out by himself. He says his sidekicks along with himself asked Owen Hart to show his ugly mug, but he didn't have the guts so he thought he'd try his hand at calling someone out and to see if they've got the guts to come out and face The Man, the Showstopper, the Main Event, and the Icon of the World Wrestling Federation. Shawn says he has beaten Taker time and time again, but he's such a glutton for punishment that he doesn't know when to stop. At the Royal Rumble, he's going to prove that The Undertaker is nothing more than a loser, and the Heartbreak Kid will walk out STILL the Showstopper, STILL the Icon, and first and foremost, STILL the WWF Champion. He says he's going to give him a chance to drag that big dead ass carcass out here and face him like a man. The Undertaker's music hits and druids bring out the DX casket from last week. Shawn makes jokes saying they did this last week, and aks for Hunter and Chyna to come out. He even gives the secret password. "BREAK IT DOWN!" Nothing. Hunter and Chyna come out onto the stage and wave Shawn off, Shawn then says "If you two are up their...then...then who is in the casket?" Taker busts out of the casket and drags Shawn in to end the show.

JR ~ "OH MY GOSH! WE'RE IN THE CASKET"
 

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This just reminds me that this was the couple of months that Owen Hart could've been made into a top guy going after the pieces of shit who screwed over his brother and broke up his family....but nope. ...he has to look like a dope by dX.

Could've had a viable option for Steve Austin later on that year big the guy who broke his neck, with a year later making him meaner and stronger.
 
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This just reminds me that this was the couple of months that Owen Hart could've been made into a top guy going after the pieces of shit who screwed over his brother and broke up his family....but nope. ...he has to look like a dope by dX.

Could've had a viable option for Steve Austin later on that year big the guy who broke his neck, with a year later making him meaner and stronger.

Biggest travesty in wrestling was how they treated Owen after the screwjob, lead right to the Blazer angle.

I watched all the 98 Raws a few years ago but I didn't really fuck with the PPVs bc most of the wrestling sucked, but the angles were just trashy greatness trying to see what they could get away with on a weekly basis. The jobber scene gets cleaned up around mania or so, they're still pretty terrible in the ring but most have decent gimmicks at least instead of all the race war guys they use now
 
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Fab's reviews will hopefully jumpstart my memory because that's all I use for my posts here.
 
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Crippler

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WWF Champion: Shawn Michaels
WWF Intercontinental Champion: The Rock
WWF Tag Team Champions: The New Age Outlaws
WWF European Champion: HHH
WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: TAKA Michinoku

WWF RAW is WAR
January 12th, 1998
State College, Pennsylvania

DX are in a limo when Shawn says they are on their way to Penn State and the best thing about State College or any College is.....COLLEGE CHICKS! Shawn says if Owen sticks his nose in their business 1 more time it will be his last. Hunter says Shawn Michaels has a big announcement that's near and dear to The Undertaker's heart. Shawn says it's about his family and how he's a loser and yells that he's the Icon. Triple H finishes it for him and Shawn stands up and takes his pants off and exposes himself through the sunroof. FULL MOON!

The Godwins, Headbangers and The Truth Commission are in the ring.

The New Age Outlaws come down to the ring.

The Godwins vs. The Headbangers vs. The Truth Commission (w/Jackyl) vs. The New Age Outlaw
This gets maybe 4 or 5 minutes or so, it's rough. Everyone but the Champions do stuff cause the Champs are too smart to tag into this fuckshit. Plus they just work the crowd from the apron the whole time. Recon dumbly tags himself out and tags Gunn in, who bumps like crazy for the Godwins then begins the regs back Gunn nails one of the Godwins with a foreign object and covers as everyone watches on. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL! What morons. Tag out in a match where it's one fall to a finish. *1/4

LOD video package. But then it cuts to the Outlaws embarrassing them, and cutting Hawks mohawk. BUT LOD ARE BACK AND LOOKING FOR REVENGE! AWESOME!

In the parking lot, Stone Cold arrives and almost runs over a cameraman.

During the break, Austin attacked the Godwins for trying to out Redneck him????

Stone Cold Steve Austin comes down to the ring, Michael Cole is in the ring too, he asks Austin about him continuing his do to others before they do to you strategy. Austin says yeah, he won the Rumble fair and square last year, but the WWF pulled the carpet right from under him, and he ain't gonna piss and moan about it like a crybaby, but you know Vince McMahon might have bought this ring, but if you get your ass in it, Stone Cold will throw your ass out of it and that's the bottom line. Cole says there's a Royal Rumble drawing tonight and he's rumored to be a marked man. Austin says that's a stupid question and takes a pen from Cole. He draws a target on his chest and says all the WWF Superstars ain't nothin but trash and he ain't a hard man to find. He says he's a marked man, but he says he's full of you know what. That's the bottom line. Why? Cause Stone Cold said so.

In the parking lot, a Limo arrives

Tonight: TYSON ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!

Back in the parking lot, Shawn is mad that the ring truck is blocking his limo so he gets out with Chyna, he leaves Criple H in the limo

Kurrgan (w/Jackyl) vs. Lance Diamond & Jimmy Cicero
awful.

IN THE PARKING LOT, OWEN HART JUMPS THROUGH THE SUNROOF AND ATTACKS HHH. Shawn and Chyna then jump in and the limo drives off.

Marc Mero comes down to the ring, minus Sable he tries to talk but the mic isn't working :lmaolmao this moron keeps talking with no sound. Sable's music hits.....................BUT IT'S GOLDUST DRESSED AS SABLE! 1998 IS ALREADY THE GREATEST YEAR!

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Marc Mero (w/The Artist Formerly Known as Goldust) vs. VADER
Short and not good, Vader holds back on his strikes and allows Mero to outstrike him so fuck that. Goldust trips up Vader 10 seconds in allowing Mero to low blow him and take over. Sable comes out and gets in Goldust's face, she slaps him so Mero forces her to leave. Vader does a few things on offense but he's not Vader anymore :( he goes for the Vader bomb but Goldust hits Vader with a coconut that he had as a titty in the back of the head for a DQ.

In the parking lot, the limo is back, DX get out limping as Cole and JR question where and what happened to Owen.

In the locker room, Austin lays out Vader :mjcry

The Nation of The Rock, D'Lo, and Kama come down to the ring, On Shotgun two weeks ago the Nation attacked Mark Henry and began whipping him like a dog until Shamrock made the save.

Before the match, Rocky grabs the mic, he says last week, the Pittsburgh Steelers' quarterback Cornell Stewart called The Rock and asked what he has to do to go to the Super Bowl and become a champion. Before he could call The Rock back, he went and called that old goat Joe Paterno and got advice from him and now look. Neither one of them are champions like The Rock. He says Mark Henry's pissed him off by wearing a "ROCKY SUCKS" t-shirt. He's ignorant enough to pay for that but he guarantees tonight that he'll rip that shirt off his fat ugly ass.

The Rock & D'Lo Brown (w/Kama Mustafa) vs. Ken Shamrock & Mark Henry
Ken/Rocky ruled for a couple of seconds it happen, Ken is fired up and pinballs Rocky around who bumps for him. He's still getting better but is showing flashes of late 1998 goodness and 99/00 GOATSHIT! The nation goes early into isolating Ken, Rocky hitting the not yet named People's elbow as a transition move still fucks me up, Ken fights back and tags Mark him. Ken hits he belly-2-belly.................BUT MARK CLOTHESLINES KEN! He hits a monster powerslam and 2 elbow drops before the rest of the Nation jump in and put the boots to Ken for the DQ.

After the match; Rocky hits the Rock Bottom as Mark rips off his t-shirt rocking a Nation t-shirt. WE ARE THE NATION! Faarooq meets them on the stage and is mad that this was done without his knowledge.

Backstage: Michael Cole interviews the Nation, Rock says this is the greatest day in the history of the Nation, besides from when he joined. He says he did this all for Faarooq and tells the others all to know their role when they try and talk. He's brought gold to the Nation AND the World's Strongest Man, and it's all for him.

WELCOME TO THE WAR ZONE!!!!

D-Generation X comes down to the ring, Hunter says Owen Hart is the last remnant of something that used to be. Used to be in the bottom of the toilet, like a nugget that they kept flushing and flushing and kept coming back to the surface, but a half hour ago in the back of DX's limo, Owen got the big flush and he's in a sewer somewhere headed to God knows where. Owen was a lowly pledge to the greatest frat in the history of the world, DX. And he failed his final. And speaking to all the sorority girls here tonight, if anyone needs help on their finals, just give Dean Helmsley a call for help that lasts all night long. Remember this. TRIPLE H HAS THE TIP! IF YOU GOT THE CLASS! Shawn gets the mic and says Mike Tyson is coming. The Baddest Man on the Planet? Hunter then does a pretty great Tyson impression. Shawn says Tyson has never had to shimmy to the sounds of Sweet Chin Music. If he sticks his nose in his business at the Royal Rumbles, the Heartbreak Kid is gonna dance all over his face. Speaking of the Rumble, this concerns KANE. Owen Hart appears on the tron, and says speaking of family, he's a survivor. He's gonna make their life hell and Hunter challenges him to do it right now. Owen Hart comes out with a crutch and says he's gonna break his other leg. Referees come out to hold Owen back and Shawn keeps Hunter back too kinda.

DOA vs. The Rock n' Roll Express (w/Jim Cornette)
DOA is still the biggest sake of shits on the roster, fucking biker fag gimmick. God damn, RNRX bump like crazy for them but on offense, they ain't good anymore. Ref fucks up a bunch of stuff so it gets really awkward at times. The match breaks down so Jim nails Skull with the racket right in front of the ref for the DQ. After the match; DOA go after Jim but RNRX stop it and put the boots to DOA until Chainz makes the save. I NEVER WANNA SEE THIS AGAIN!

Earlier Today, Cactus Jack was on Penn State's football field. He says this is a place where many wars were fought, he says he knows a thing or two about wars and the greatest warrior he's ever known is Terry Funk. Clips from their KOTDM tournament match are shown. They got so violent with each other that it's never been topped since. He felt himself grow closer to this man than anyone he's ever known as a result, so in a 2 on 1 situation, he made one phone call to Terry Funk. And if Terry wants to wear pantyhose and call himself Chainsaw Charlie, then to each his own. And to the Outlaws, we're gonna make their lives hell, not as punishment. Think of it as a chance to get to know each other, like they have.

Zauv8nG.jpg

Mankind vs. The Artist Formerly Known as Goldust
This legitimately goes about 33 seconds until Austin runs out and stuns both men.

Backstage: Vince McMahon says Mike Tyson is a special Guest at this year's Royal Rumble and will continue discussion about his involvement at Mania. However, Tyson will be on RAW the night after where he's hoping to make a huge announcement.

Sunny comes out in a cheerleaders outfit for the weekly gig.

Lawler ~ "I'm not embarrassed to be with a younger girl, just when I have to drop them off at school"

Savio Vega & Jesus Castillo (w/Los Boricuas) vs. TAKA Michinoku & Scott Taylor
Taka does what he can with the limited time he got, it's not good Savio doesn't care, Jesus is like every other Jesus that has ever wrestled AWFUL. And Scotty keeps rushing and botching shit. Boricuas win.

After the match; Owen runs out with a crutch and hits all Boricuas members for revenge.

D-Generation X come back out, Michael Cole is in the ring for an interview. Shawn and Hunter fuck with Cole before Shawn says everyone saw that Kane and Paul Bearer have split ways, and DX will gladly open their arms and accept Kane into their family. He introduces the newest member of D-Generation X, KANE! The Undertaker comes out instead. Takers says he would appreciate it if Michaels would keep his family out of this, this has nothing to do with his little brother and if he was him he would be worried about keeping that title. He grabs Shawn by the throat, but then grabs Chyna so Hunter hits him with a crutch, AND TAKER NO-SELLS IT! Hunter backs off and Taker turns around into the Sweet Chin Music. They beat him with the crutch, BUT THE LIGHTS GO OUT AND KANE COMES OUT! KANE RUNS OFF DX! He chases them up the ramp before turning and looking back at TAKER! HE EXTENDS HIS HAND AND TAKER RETURNS IT!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A MOMENT!!!!

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All the jobber and lower tier talent are in the ring, Ken Shamrock comes out and goes right to fight with Mark Henry, that leads to other wrestlers randomly brawling before stopping when they hear Honkey Tonk Man's Music :lmao They go back to brawl before stopping when Cactus comes out. Austin's music hits...........BUT HE COMES FROM BEHIND THE OTHER SIDE OF TEH RING. He hits one of the Godwins with a stunner and bails, as everyone goes back to brawling. Austin bails up the ramp but from behind. Rocky, D'Lo, and Savio attack him from behind. They brawl to the back as everyone else half ass brawls to end the show.

Dope FORESHADOWING! Faarooq and Bradshaw refusing to hit one another and stood by the other the entire time.
 
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That Kane/Taker moment gave me chills when I was a kid. Too bad it was short lived(well...at the time)
 
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Wrestling is just a lot of great moments ruined a month later by questionable booking or someone getting injured
 
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Wow you really are obsessed with me8D

Looking back 98 was a pretty shit year for wrestling overall. Of course I love the Austin-Vince stuff and there were other highlights but a lot of this stuff has not aged well.

Anyway Austin's build for the rumble was fun. I too have a soft spot for Mero's body punches:homer2: Liked him in WCW and didn't mind him too much in WWF. Fuck the haters:pipe:
 
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WWF Champion: Shawn Michaels
WWF Intercontinental Champion: The Rock
WWF Tag Team Champions: The New Age Outlaws
WWF European Champion: HHH
WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: TAKA Michinoku

WWF Royal Rumble
January 18th, 1998
San Jose, California



Commentary: Jerry "THE KING" Lawler & Jim Ross

Mike Tyson is in a Skybox

The Artist Formerly Known as Goldust (w/Luna) vs. VADER
This isn't bad, but not as amazing as it should have been. Maybe if this was 1996 then maybe it would rule, but now Vader is past his prime and his strikes don't make me cringe anymore, but god bless him, he's trying, as for Goldust he's all the way fucked up. For the most part, it's mostly punches and strikes. Goldust doesn't really try to lift Vader maybe once or twice but it always backfires which allows Vader to recover and do some things. Hilarious spot, with Vader going for the Vader bomb but gets caught waiting to he hells at Goldust to get up, so he yells at Luna to distract the ref. Anyway, he low blows Vader for two. Vader comes back and sits on Goldust's chest before hitting the Vader bomb with Luna on his back for the win. **1/2

bSsSkXY.gif

In the parking lot, Austin arrives as Cole tries to interview him but Austin blows him off and tells him to park his truck. The Godwins come over looking for Austin.

Sunny comes out to be the referee for the next match.

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Battalion, Tarantula, and El Torito vs. Nova, Mosaic, and Max Mini [Special Referee: Sunny]
This goes around 7 minutes or so, It is what it is, cool choreographed spots, with some comedy, everything is smooth for the most part. Max Mini pins El Torito with a Crucifix Pin.

Backstage: The Nation of Domination minus the Rock are looking for Austin, Faarooq says he didn't put Henry in this group to begin with, so he wants him to prove himself by laying out Stone Cold. They all barge in, but nobody is there and there's just a foam AUSTIN 3:16 middle finger on a chair in front of the door.

Vince McMahon & Shane McMahon, has now joined Tyson in the skybox.

Backstage: Michael Cole interviews The Rock, Cole asks about dissension in the ranks. Rock says he's a complete idiot, but he knows all The Rock's fans want to know how The Rock feels about President Clinton and Paula Jones, and says to take it from The Rock. When you lay down with a dog, you're gonna wake up with fleas. Don't be silly, cover it, Willy. The fact of the matter is that Shamrock wanted it one on one, I like it one on one. But don't worry Someone WILL be standing by to carry his sorry ass out of the building.

WWF Intercontinental Championship: The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock
They have a slow feeling out process to start where it clearly looks like both men are stalling. Rock's bumping is super fun here, he gains the advantage when he hangs Shamrock on the top rope as he goes for his 'rana. Rocky doesn't really do much lots of punches, kicks, and chokes. Shamrock doesn't sell like at all but in his defense, Rock's heat period is really basic. Shamrock does have these mini-great comebacks with punches to the mid-section, but Rock would counter with a huge move e.g. around the world/float over DDT. After a headlock segment, Shamrock has a dope comeback before Kama and D'Lo run down for the distraction, that allows Rock to pull out the brass knuckles. He punches Shamrock with them, he places the knuckles in Ken's pants tho. Rocky then covers but he kicks out. Shamrock immediately hits the Belly-2-Belly and covers for the win. **1/4

After the match; The Rock recovers and tells the ref he got hit with the knucks, so the ref checks Shamrock and finds the knucks so he reverses the decision. FUCKERY~! Ken snaps so he hits the ref with the belly-2-belly and applies the Ankle Lock to him.

Backstage: Los Boricuas think they found Austin, but it's just one of the DOA members. They start beating the shit out of him, which leads to fraction brawls. FUCK YEAH! All white bald men look the same from behind.

The New Age Outlaws come down to the ring wearing Brett Favre Packers jerseys, Road Dogg says unless you live under a rock or in California, you know he's the Road Dogg and this is B-A-D A-Double crooked letter. Just like their precious 49ers, their precious LOD is about to become a part of history as well. Steve Young will play a major role in the Super Bowl this year. He'll be the one telling his fat wife to fetch another brewski.

Backstage: Michael Cole interviews LOD. Animal yells that he was never going to miss this match tonight and it's not a matter of being hurt because doctors don't know what they're talking about and it's a matter of having a heart and being a WWF Superstar. TELL EM HAWK! WELL. He says these guys think they're as cool as the other side of the pillow. They'll be even cooler tonight after they put them on ice. What a rush.

WWF Tag Team Championships: The New Age Outlaws vs. The Legion of Doom
Outlaws dumping is great, they pretty much get their ass kicked for 5 straight minutes until Dogg trips Animal up from the floor then sends him into the steel steps. FUCK YEAH! The Outlaws sucker Hawk in so they can attack him, they then distract the ref so Dogg handcuffs Hawk to the ringpost leaving the injured Animal to go solo. But it's the outlaws so they don't do shitall with the man advantage and continue to get their asses kicked. Animal counters a crossbody off the top rope into a powerslam but Dogg nails him in the back for the DQ. **1/4

After the match; The Outlaws beat on Animal with a chair, until HAWK SNAPS AND BREAKS THE CUFFS MAKING THE SAVE!

Stone Cold Steve Austin's road to the Rumble video package, boy I wonder who's gonna win the Rumble 8D

#30 Man Royal Rumble Match
#1 Cactus Jack, #2 Chainsaw Charlie. Cactus bails away from the chainsaw, and throws chairs at Funk in the ring, AND FUNK SWINGS THE SAW AT THE CHAIRS TO BLOCK IT. They then go right into nailing one another in the head with chairs. Funk then lifs the panties off his head so Cactus can look into his eyes as he hits him. He dares Cactus to do it again, but Cactus hands him the chair instead and Funk begins wofferling him with chair shots to the head. #3 is Tom Brandi, Cactus and Charlie stop fighting to beat up Brandi for being awful, and they toss him out before going back to punching one another in the face. Cactus suplex's Charlie on two chairs that are in the sitting position. #4 is The Rock. Who beating on both men with some WOAT punches and kicks, so Jack and Charlie team up and begin beating him up with weapons. They place a trashcan on Rocks head and Jack nails it with a chair sending Rocky through the middle ropes. #5 is Mosh who goes at Funk, as Rock is back in fighting with Cactus. #6 is Phinneus Godwinn, #7 is 8-Ball. Funk dodges a Cactus Clothesline, and Cactus is eliminated. #8 is Bradshaw, #9 is Owen Hart, but Jarrett and Cornette attack him on the way down. I guess Owen is out UGH! #10 is Steve Blackman, #11 is D'Lo Brown, and for some reason, Rock and D'lo begin fighting WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? #12 is Kurrgan. HOLY SHIT! THE NAMES IN THIS RUMBLE ARE ASS! Kurrgan throws Mosh out and begins fighting Blackman as they both are wearing black pants. #13 is Marc Mero as Kurrgan throws Blackman out. Rock and D'lo keep fighting cause looool. #14 is Ken Shamrock who single-handedly beats up Kurrgan :lmao everyone then helps and tosses him out. THANK GOD! 15 is Thrasher. FUCK!

#16 is Mankind, who goes right after Funk and eliminates him. #17 is TAFKA Goldust, Rock and Shamrock finally get into to it and it's the only highlight since Jack/Charlie to start. Mero goes his best awful boxing stuff clearly trying to work himself into a program with Tyson, but looooooooooooooolMero. Goldust eliminates Mankind. #18 is Jarrett, but Owen runs back down and attacks Jeff in the ring. He beats the shit out of him before throwing him out. FUCK YEAH OWEN! #19 is the Honky Tonk Man. Triple H and Chyna walk down and Hunter is still on crutches, as the Rock throws Shamrock out. DAMMIT! Hunter and Chyna distract Owen, Owen grabs one of Hunter's crutches that Chyna is holding so Hunter nails him in the back with the other, and Chyna pulls him to the floor. #20 is Ahmed Johnson :lmaolmao:lmao oh I've missed him, he's wearing three knee pads on each leg like they are tights. #21 is Mark Henry, the horn for #22 hits but no one comes out, Lawler claims that was Austin's number but someone finally got him in the back. Ahmed is eliminated by the Nation, so is Phinneus. #23 is Kama Mustafa. #24 is STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN~! EVERYONE IN THE RING STOPS FIGHTING AND WAITS FOR AUSTIN...............BUT HE COMES THROUGH THE CROWD He punches Mero out, everyone tries to fight Austin be he escapes and throws 8ball out. Everyone then goes back to brawling one another and leaves Austin alone :lmao D'low/Austin is fun. #25 is Henry Godwinn, #26 is Savio Vega who comes out with the rest of Los Boricuas. They all charge at Austin but he fights them off and clears the ring of them leaving Savio alone who avoids the Stunner. Austin almost takes Goldust's head off with a sick clothesline. #27 is Faarooq who goes right to kicking The Rock's ass and the rest of the Nation's :lmao FUCK YEAH! Rocky/Austin brawl on the floor. #28 is Dude Love. 3 FACES OF FOLEY~! The Dude eliminates Bradshaw. As Austin continues to beat the shit out of both Rock and Goldust. #29 is Chainz UGH! VADER IS #30.

Vader eliminates Honky Tonk Man, Austin tosses Thrasher, Kama, and then Savio. Goldust gets some brief revenge clothesline Vader our. Dude ducks a Henry Godwinn clothesline and low bridges him over the top. Chainz tosses Goldust out, Austin tosses Chainz out at the same time Faarooq then eliminates both D'lo and Mark. DA FUCKS?!?!!

Final Four, Rocky, Austin, Faarooq and Dude. Faarooq quickly throws Dude out :( Rocky then allows Faarooq to fight Austin in the corner, before sneaking up and dumping him over the top. LEAVING ROCK VS. AUSTIN~! God damn their chemistry is already so good together. Austin peppers him with punches and throws him out, but Rock lands on the apron. He sneaks back in but walks into a Stunner and finally, Austin throws him to the floor. Thus ending the most predictable Rumble of all time.

Michael Cole is with a very HYPE! Mike Tyson in the skybox. Tyson says "COLD STONE" is my man, i'm happy he won and no one believed he would win :lmao I'm gonna celebrate for him. Cole asks him about the WWF title match, Tyson says he can't predict the winner he's just looking forward to the match.

Shawn/Taker video package.

Casket Match for the WWF World Heavyweight Championship: Shawn Michaels (w/D-Generation X) vs. The Undertaker
The match starts off like always with Shawn trying to avoid the Undertaker as much as possible but also adding quick punches to keep pissing him off. He keeps charging in the corner and getting tossed off. Shawn springboards out of the corner but gets caught in a double choke lift, he press slam Shawn into the casket but he counters. Undertaker backdrops HBK over the casket but he catches his lower back on the edge. OH SHIT! His career just ended 3 minutes into the match. Thankfully, it doesn't affect him here, adrenaline is a hell of a thing. Taker goes on the offensive slamming Shawn around who bumps like a madman, god damn why did epic 1997/1998 bumping Shawn only last 7 months tops :( They do a spot where Taker gets all of Shawn in the casket, but Shawn pops out of the casket with power in Taker's eyes and that allows Shawn to finally take over and string some moves together. Which included a moonsault press, clotheslines him to the floor, skins-the-cat back in but Taker drags him out anyway. Taker dominates out there until Shawn sends his knees through the steel steps. He then picks the steps up and smashes it on Takers back, a few times then he PILEDRIVES Undertaker onto the steps. We get a couple of casket tease spots, my favorite being Shawn rolling Taker into the casket and gloats with the crotch chop so Taker grabs him with the testicular claw and escapes. Big boot but Shawn avoids the 360 clothesline and Undertaker winds up in the casket. Shawn follows him in via a top rope elbow drop INTO the casket. For some reason, the referee closes the lid with BOTH of them inside. HBK tries to escape but then gets dragged back into the casket by the Undertaker. Both escape and Undertaker Tombstones him off the apron into the casket OH SHIT! Suddenly, The New Age Outlaws and Los Boricuas run down and start beating up Taker..............THE LIGHTS GO OUT! Kane comes down and clears the ring but TURNS ON THE UNDERTAKER! He chokeslams Undertaker into the casket and DX closes the lid to give Shawn Michaels the win. ***1/4

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After the match; Paul Bearer comes down with helping Kane padlocking the casket. They wheel the casket up the ramp, where Kane whacks it a few times with an ax before pouring lighter gasoline and all over the casket before setting it on fire to end the show.

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Deezy

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Can't figure out what Michaels was planning on how to take that casket bump without fucking himself up.
 

Keith

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Outside of the classic rumble matches that 98 match is one of the most fun. It told a really great story too. The card as a whole was hit and miss, but the IC title and headliner delivered some good action. Might go back and watch this soon.