WWE Raw, Smackdown & PPV's 2003

[Crippler]

WWE Raw 06/02/2003
San Diego, California

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam & Kane
WWE Women's Champion: Jazz

So Raw opens up with a big stretch hummer limbo pulling, and out steps The Rock. He has a big grin on his face until he hears the reaction of the crowd, he calls himself the most electrifying man in sports entertainment. He looks at the camera and cuts a face like promo asking the people are they ready for him. He tells the camera man to stop looking at his booty because we are like in San Diego.

Trish Stratus, Jacqueline, Ivory vs. Jazz, Molly Holly, & Victoria (w/ Theodore Long)
lol @ Lawler screaming puppies during Trish and co’ entrance but as soon as Jazz and co’ come to the ring he calls them Rottweiler As for the match I think all divas matches should be like this, 3 minutes long no tags and just spots every couple of seconds with it constantly being one-on-one in the ring with stuff going crazy on the outside. I mark at one point Molly put Trish in a Boston crab while Victoria came in at the same time and applied the camel clutch, good shit. The match ends when Ivory hit Jazz with an X Factor for the win and Trish music hit, classic. **1/4

In the parking lot, a sweet muscle car pulls up and out comes Goldberg. Coach tries to get a word with him but he shoves him away.

Backstage: Test and Stacy argue about last week, and Stacy says it's over between them. Test says she's still under contract to him, and she storms off.

The Hurricane comes out for his match but Randy Orton attacks him on the stage, Orton motions for them to come through and out comes Triple H and Ric Flair. JR asks why Flair did what he did last week, and Lawler says that's like asking a snake that you picked up why it bit you Flair gets on the mic and says he's honoured that Shawn Michaels came out last week and said he wants to be just like him. But they say imitation is the greatest form flattery, and he’s seen hundreds of Ric Flair wannabes come and go and for years he had to hear people say that Shawn Michaels passed him by, but Flair yells that he never passed any torch and if people want to say that, Shawn Michaels has to take that torch from his hands. He says legend is a word that's just thrown around now, but Ric Flair is THE legend; "YOU KNOW HOW YOU BECOME A LEGEND?! YOU SPEND 30 MILLION DOLLARS, YOU SLEEP WITH 3,000 WOMEN, AND YOU WRESTLE 350 DAYS A YEAR! YOU BLEED EVERY NIGHT, GO TO BED, AND DO IT AGAIN THE NEXT SAY, UNTIL PEOPLE SAY, "JESUS CHRIST, HE IS THE GREATEST!" AND IF YOU WRESTLED GROWING UP WHEN I WAS THE MAN, WHO ELSE COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT TO BE BUT RIC FLAIR†Flair says a couple a weeks ago he lost to Triple H, the he got on his knees and bowed to Hunter. Flair says he passed the torch to Triple H, not Shawn Michaels and NEVER Shawn Michaels. Flair says Shawn Michaels will ALWAYS be a Ric Flair wannabe and at Bad Blood, he's going to slap the crap out of Michaels and he's going to be Ric Flair's bitch. Shawn Michaels comes out and says he knew he was taking a big chance last week and that Ric Flair proved that he's the dirtiest player in the game. He didn't have the torch passed to him, he took it and at Bad Blood, he'll show that Space Mountain is nothing but a broken down old ride, and he'll make Flair famous for getting run into the ground by HBK, just like everyone in the back Triple H takes the mic and challenges Shawn Michaels to come down to the ring, so Kevin Nash & The Hurricane also come out as Evolution bails.

Steven Richards vs. Scott Steiner (w/Stacy Keibler)
Scotty debuts the sit on the ropes and watch Stacy do her entrance then make sure she does it again, what a guy! SQUASH! Test looks on from the stage. Post-Match: Eric Bischoff comes out and makes Test vs. Steiner at Bad Blood, with the winner getting Stacy's managerial services.

Jim Ross announces to the viewing audience that Freddy Bladdie had passed away about an hour ago.

Backstage: Stone Cold Steve Austin & Eric Bischoff discuss their competition at Bad Blood, Austin suggests they do battle in a "Redneck Triathlon" Austin books Evolution vs. Nash/Shawn/Hurricane for tonight.

Backstage: Terri interviews Goldberg, he talks about how gonna beat Jericho ass at Bad Blood but then the but the video cuts to the parking lot and we see Jericho throwing paint on Goldberg's car, and drives away from the building. We see Goldberg watching it on the monitor he runs out, gets into his car and chases after Jericho.

The Highlight Reel is set up in the ring.

Christian comes down to host The Highlight Reel for his friend. He says with Jericho gone, this is now The Peep Show, and his first guest is The Rock. The Rock tries to do his "Finally...." shtick but Christian interrupts him, Christian says "FINALLY... The NEW People's Champion has come back to San Diego!" He says Rock has been replaced, because Christian rules and Rock cuts him off and says he's on crack. Rock says that Christian cannot replace the Rock, because there's only one People's Champion and Christian says the people don't like Rock like they love him. The Rock suggests they asks the People who their champion is, he leaves the ring and jumps the rail and goes into the crowd with the fans, he asks fans who the real People's Champion is, and they answers "The Rock" lol @ the crowd mobbing him. Rock says there's one Elvis, one Statue of Liberty, and one People's Champion, and it's The Rock. Chris Jericho suddenly returns and calls Rock back to the ring. Rock comes back in as Jericho keeps looking over his shoulder. He says since he's never been speared and will never be speared, he asks Rock what it feels like. Suddenly, a group of fans start chanting Rocky sucks so Rock calls them out by saying “The Rock gets more pie in one night, then you’ll get in a lifetime†Rock says the spear hurts, it hurts like heel. Jericho brags that he would know and tells Rock to leave now. Rock calls him a bitch, so Jericho and Christian jump him. Booker T runs out to save, and he fights Christian to the floor. Jericho gets hit with the People's Elbow, and Booker rolls Christian back in and into the Rock Bottom. Rock demands that Booker do the People's Elbow too, and Booker hits it on Christian. Booker does the Spinarooni and then forces The Rock to do it.

Backstage: Chris Jericho & Christian are leaving the arena when Steve Austin approaches them but Austin says that they are not leaving yet.

Renee Dupree (w/Slyvian Greiner) vs. Kane (w/Rob Van Dam)
French guys is green as fuck and Kane can’t get nothing out of him. NEXT!

So Kane & RVD are in the ring and Austin comes down, and dismisses Rob Van Dam. He leaves, and Austin talks to Kane. Austin says LOOK AT ME, he says he's been watching Kane for a while, and asks what he's doing. He says he's not impressed at all, and asks if there's any fire in him at all. He keeps berating and shoving him to try and make him mad, but Kane refuses. Austin says that 5 years ago, Kane was tormenting him he even took his WWE Title in a First Blood match and asks if that Kane is still alive. Kane grabs him by the throat, and Austin yells to do it. He lets go, so Austin slaps him. Kane grabs him again but doesn't do it, so Austin hits him with the Stunner and leaves. IT BEGINS!

Backstage: Triple H leaves the Referees Locker Room with a smile on his face. After commercial, we see the Evolution getting ready for their match. Flair says that they have to close the door on this whole Nash/HBK thing tonight and Triple H says not to worry because he has everything worked out.

Backstage: Christian & Jericho walk to the ring and Jericho says they have to win this match as quick as possible.

Booker T & Goldust vs. Chris Jericho & Christian
Christian finally has enough money to get C’s on both sides of his attire now Booker and Goldust get the jobber entrance Christian is still playing second fiddle even though he’s the IC champ he still comes out with Jericho to Jericho theme, Booker and Christian starts off with Booker getting the advantage early on outsmarting him at all turns as we go to a commercial. We are back and suddenly Jericho has booker in a submission hold but Booker begins to fight out until Christian knees him in the back and they regain control now. At one point JR says he loves Booker story of where he comes from and where he is now as Lawler replies the gutter Booker does manage to fight off both men and get the hot tag to Goldust who lights it up on both men, late in the match Christian and Jericho go for a double backdrop but Goldust reverses it into a double DDT. He sets Christian up for the Golden Globes but Jericho cuts it off with a running forearm. Booker blind tags back in and kills Jericho with a superkick. Christian comes back and almost gets Booker by holding the ropes. Jericho gets on the apron and Curtain knocks him down by accident allowing Booker to hit him with the axe kick for the win. Post-Match: Jericho hit both Booker and Goldust in the head with the IC title as Goldberg runs down the ramp and Jericho throws little Charles Robinson in Goldberg’s way killing him with the spear. **3/4

Backstage: WWE referees talk to Austin and Bischoff. They refuse to ref Hell In A Cell match because of the ref violence that happen in the Triple H/Nash at Judgment Day, along with the fact that in the last HIAC, Tim White was injured and hasn't been back since. Austin tells them to leave, and he tells Eric that he can solve this with a phone call, and he thinks he knows a crazy enough son of a bitch to do this.

Triple H, Ric Flair & Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels, Kevin Nash & The Hurricane
JESUS! Orton has the most generic theme song ever, EVOLUSTION IS MYSERY! Needs to happen ASAP. Wait so all these guys get separate entrances but the IC champ doesn’t UGH! So Shawn starts with Orton and he decides to wrestle with his hat and vest still on, damn you Shawn. OH GUESS WHAT VIDEO JUST CUT OFF! FUCK MY LIFE!

 

[Crippler]

WWE Smackdown 06/05/2003
Anaheim, California

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar
WWE Tag Team Champions: Eddie Guerrero & Tajiri
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Matt Hardy

[video=youtube;ahFVR-M0JWk]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahFVR-M0JWk[/video]​

Piper & O'Haire come out for Piper's Pit, Piper talks about Zack Gowan having a dream to become a wrestler, saying he is a special kid and he's been wrestling for 30 years and nobody ever called him “special” Piper introduces "the Man with the Dream" Zack Gowan but Vince McMahon, thank god. Vince says that last week he said things were going to change for the better on Smackdown and that he was wrong about Zack Gowan, and that he is indeed special. Vince says that he will give Zack Gowan an opportunity to earn a WWE contract. He brings out Gowan, and Mr. America is with him Vince tells Zack Gowan that he questions his choice of friends and heroes and tells Zack Gowan that there is only one person that can give him what he wants. Vince says that he'll face Zack Gowan in an arm wrestling match for Smackdown! Contract next week, America volunteers, but Vince says it's him vs. Gowan. Vince then shoves Zack Gowan to the mat and leaves He tells Zack that he has as much chance of winning the arm wrestling contest as a man with one leg in a ass kicking fight.

The Undertaker vs. Chuck Palumbo (w/FBI)
Taker in control early taking it right to Palumbo with hard rights. Undertaker works on the arm. Palumbo slugs away, but gets clotheslined, Taker hits old school and then his jumping DDT. Punch Chuck comes back hitting a sweet spinebuster that knocks Taker got knocked out of the ring and attacked by Nunzio and Stamboli which allowed Palumbo to take control back in the ring but for only a short time. Taker makes the comeback, but walks into a sleeper. He quickly escapes with a backdrop suplex and they slug it out again. DDT from Taker and Taker follows with a pair of corner clotheslines and a big boot. Palumbo goes back to slugging, but walks into Snake Eyes. Taker then hits him with a chokeslam for the win. **1/2

Rey's family is in the front row, as is Eddie’s son Dominic oh wait we are not their yet

Footage airs from last week's main event of the FBI & Show vs. Taker/Brock with Show pinning Brock Lesnar. Brock vs. Show for the WWE Title is announced for next week. YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS

Michael Cole & Tazz introduce an amazing tribute video to Classy Freddy Blassie

Eddie Guerrero & Tajiri vs. The Basham Brothers
Michael Cole reports that Team Angle has called in sick this week, so they will miss Angle return :hm: This all round was fun squash for Eddie and Tajiri, Tajiri’s kicks were epic tonight and Eddie just looked like he was having a ton of fun out there. **

Kurt Angle comes down to the ring, making his return getting a great face pop. Angle says he’s so happy to here and to hear the fans chant "You Suck!" and makes them do it again. He says he is really happy to be back inside a WWE ring. Angle says that he is a champion, and wants to become a champion again but there was one guy went out of his way to be his friend during the past two months. Suddenly the Big Show comes out to the ring shaking his head and smiling. Show says he doesn't care that Kurt's back, but if he wants to be WWE Champion again, he needs to get in line. Show says that Kurt doesn't want to fight him, cause he'll put him in the hospital for good. Kurt tells him to use breath strips, Angle gets up on the second rope and yells down at Big Show he says he won a Gold Medal & wrestled at Wrestlemania with a broken neck, and not afraid of Big Show! Show tries to intimidate him. Kurt refuses, and Show grabs him by the throat, but Brock Lesnar comes out. Show steps out of the ring and leaves, knowing he has a title shot next week on Smackdown. Angle tells Brock Lesnar that he didn't exactly need his help with the Big Show and questions Brock chances of beating Big Show next week, Brock Lesnar says that after he beats Big Show, the next title shot is for Kurt Angle. Kurt says that for him to beat Brock he has to be at the top of his game, and big boy he is. Kurt thanks Brock Lesnar for all his support in the last two months and such a great match at Wrestlemania.

Chris Benoit vs. John Cena
Cena comes out first wearing a college LeBron jersey, he cuts a rap about the Cruiserweight guys he calls them light in the pants so they must be transvestites. He also have more hits on the mic than free porn websites Benoit comes out and they go right at it just trading punches, forearms, boots just everything until Benoit whips him into the ropes and kills him with a clothesline. He backs Cena into the buckle and chops away on him but he makes the mistake of coming rushing in and Cena flapjacks him into the buckle but Benoit no-sell as Cena comes in but Benoit counters into German attempt but that gets counters so he goes for the Crossface. Cena fights out and tosses Benoit out, he jumps on him and whips him into the post before putting the boots to him. Back in, and Cena covers for two before applying a side chin lock as Cole says Cena is a mega star and he’s gonna carry Smackdown and WWE in the future, OH SHIT! Benoit fights out with elbow and chops before hitting a snap suplex for two. Benoit goes for another whip but Cena counters into a FU attempt but Benoit counters into a DDT and both men are down. CUT THROAT! And Benoit heads up and connects with the diving headbutt as Cena kicks out at two. Triple German attempt but Benoit only manages one as Cena counters and both men back up killing the ref in the corner that allows Cena to low blow him and goes for the chain. But Rhyno runs down and Benoit comes in but Rhyno accidentally hits him with the chain and Cena knocks him off the apron and covers Benoit for the win. **3/4

Jamie Noble & Nidia vs. Rikishi & Torrie Wilson
Torrie’s looks and body carried this match, poor Noble he’s so good but stuck in matches like this.

Backstage: Rey says that his injured groin is fine and he is ready for his Cruiserweight title match and that it's not about his groin injury anymore. Eddie Guerrero shows up says that they're wearing Rey shirts to support him and he better not even think about coming back to the locker room without the gold.

Backstage: Stephanie questions Vince's motivations for challenging Zack Gowan to an Arm Wrestling Match, she says if Vince isn't going to give Zack a contract, than she will UGH! Vince tells Stephanie that if she hires Zack Gowan than she's fired and tells her that he has hired a new Assistance for Stephanie. Vince brings Stephanie into her office and introduces her to Sable, Stephanie remembers how Sable sued the WWE for 10 Million Dollars for Sexual Harassment lmao Vince says that that was then, and this is now and that Stephanie is just jealous of Sable's looks.

WWE Cruiserweight Championship: Rey Mysterio vs. Matt Hardy (w/Shannon Moore & Crash Holly)
This is probably the only time ever that the Cruiserweight championship has ever main evented a Raw or Smackdown. Mattitude.com “Matt is taller than Rey Mysterio, Matt despises traffic” Ref Brian Hebner lays down the law before the match, and we get a face off and Matt pumps himself up. Hard lock up to start with Rey getting a quick rollup for two, but Matt goes for the arm but Rey reverses it as Cole and Tazz start name-dropping former champions. Matt starts choking on the ropes follows and he starts chopping but Rey comes back with ones of his own and then a springboards back in with a splash for two, but Matt clubs him off the apron and Moore & Crash stomp away. The ref sees it and instead of DQ’ing Matt he tosses them to the back, SCREWJOB! Matt protests, and Rey follows him out with a senton drop as we take a commercial break. We return with Matt going for a Splash Mountain, escaped by Rey. However, Matt counters with a low blow/kick to the injured groin. Half-crab is locked in by Matt, but Rey makes the ropes. Rey sets up Matt for the 619, but he can’t capitalize in time and Matt clips him and keeps pounding the groin. Rey tries to go up, but again is too slow so Matt crotches him then hangs him in the Tree of Woe. Matt charges in but Rey moves and Matt hits the post, but catches Rey while trying a moonsault. Rey counters with a DDT, which gets two. Bulldog gets two but Matt comes back with a scoop slam to set up the middle rope Legdrop, Rey is quicker and follows him up. Matt brings him down with a Side Effect from the top, which gets two. Rey cradles him for two and then out of nowhere Rey gives him a Twist of Fate, which gets two. Rey connects with the 619, but Matt blocks the West Coast Pop and both guys tumble out. Matt grabs the title to distract the ref, allowing the Moore and Crash to run back down and double-suplex Rey behind the refs back. They rolls him back in and this time he connects with Legdrop, which gets two. He sets up for the Twist of Fate but Rey reverses it into a Jackknife Pin for the win. Post-Match: Rey celebrates in the ring and then brings in his son into the ring and holds him and the title up. Cole and Tazz talk about how much of a big deal it was to have Cruiserweights main event a TV and how much of a bigger deal it was to have Rey win with an injured groin in front of his family. ***1/4

 

[Crippler]

WWE Raw 06/09/2003
Miami, Florida

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian,
World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam & Kane
WWE Women's Champion: Jazz

Backstage: Triple H demands that Austin tell him who the ref will be, Austin says that he will find out in time, and tells him to “Have a Nice Day.” And Triple H gives him that “You son of a bitch look”

Goldberg vs. Rosey
Chris Jericho comes out to the stage with a chair and watches from on top of the ramp. Goldberg dominates majority of the match with Rosey looking trash most of the time. The match ends when Goldberg clotheslines Rosey to the outside, Jericho gets in the ring and goes to hit Goldberg with a chair, but Goldberg fights him off and sets him up for a spear but Rosey attacks Goldberg from behind, but Goldberg fights him off and spears him then finishes him off with the Jackhammer. **

GAIL KIM IS COMING!

Rob Van Dam vs. Rene Dupree
This sucked a lot, RVD wins with a roll up. Post-Match: Sylvan runs out and attacks RVD with Rene. They lay him out, and JR says Kane is here, and wonders where he was.

Backstage: Eric Bischoff shows Austin a wheel containing all their ideas for their Redneck Triathlon, Eric says they will just spin the wheel and choose their events at the Pay per view. Eric spins the wheel and it lands on "Pie Eating Contest" Austin says that it has to be "Puntang" pie they both accept and Eric then asks about the Special Ref and goes “Bang, Bang” did you get him? Austin says that he will tell him later.

Backstage: Rob Van Dam finds Kane and yells at him for not coming to help him against La Resistance, he suggests Kane is afraid that what Steve Austin said about him last week is true, Kane stares at him and storms off.

Trish Stratus & Ivory vs. Jazz & Victoria (w/Theodore Long)
Trish is heads and shoulders above everyone else at this point and she is carrying this division single handily. Ivory hit Jazz with a sloppy flash roll for the win, lol @ Jazz getting pinned again.

Backstage: Christian & Chris Jericho are talking, Christian says he’s gonna challenged Booker T to a spinerooni contest. Jericho says he knows Goldberg is around so he's got to get out of the building, and he knows Goldberg will make a mistake eventually and he's gonna capitalize. Jericho says at Bad Blood he's going to tear him apart.

Lance Storm vs. Scott Steiner (w/Stacy Keibler)
Test comes out and joins Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler on commentary. This match lasts like 40 seconds, Test runs down and tries to drag Stacy up the ramp but Steiner jumps out of the ring and they have a tug-of-war with Stacy's arms. Storm jumps him and nailing the diving clothesline from the top rope. But Steiner gets up and nails him with the Flatliner for the win. Post-Match: Test enters and smashes Scott Steiner repeatedly with a chair until Stacy throws herself on top of him. Test corners Stacy asks intimidates her and then starts to apologize. Test says that Stacy doesn't have to be his girlfriend any more, cause on Sunday's she'll be his WHORE! Test forces himself on Stacy and grabs her by the arm and twists before dragging her away.

The Hell In A Cell begins to lower and CO-GM Stone Cold Steve Austin comes out to the stage. Austin introduces the only man "crazy enough to referee hell in a cell", Mick Foley! Foley gets in the ring. He says that he is glad to be home, and says that there was a time that he never wanted to get back in the ring again and says that you can take Foley out of the WWE, but you can’t take the WWE out of Foley. He says that he saw RAW last week, he saw that Austin talked about one crazy son of a bitch, and he was hoping that Austin was talking about him. He says that he has some memorial matches in HIAC. Triple H then comes out and says that this is none of Mick Foley's business because he is not a wrestler, and tells Foley to go live his regular life, with a regular wife, with regular children. Triple H says Foley is a "regular" guy because he was the one that retired Foley in HIAC in February 2000. He tells Foley to reconsider his decision to referee the Hell in a Cell match and Foley has an hour to make a decision, or he'll make the decision for him.

Flair comes out and introduces Randy Orton. Hurricane comes out, and brings out Shawn Michaels.

Randy Orton (w/ Ric Flair) vs. The Hurricane (w/ Shawn Michaels)
Helms takes the fight to him right away, even going for a Eye of the Hurricane like 20 seconds in but Orton fights out of it. Helms fights back with some big clotheslines, and connects with a flying Crossbody for two. Helms goes for an Overcast but Orton ducks it, but Helms hits the Shinning Wizard for out of nowhere for two. But Flair makes the save. Ric Flair & Shawn Michaels brawl outside the ring and Ric Flair gets busted open that like two weeks in a row Flair gets busted open on nothing. Helms nails a baseball slide on Flair, turns around into a Diamond Cutter move from Orton for the win. We could later find out it’s the RKO. Post-Match: Flair jump Helms, as Orton hits a 2nd RKO but Shawn breaks it up and continues to beats on Flair. Flair is a bloody mess at this point, WHAT A GUY! They brawl for quite a while even fighting off Orton, it’s like Shawn is mad. **1/2

Backstage: Spike Dudley catches up with Foley who is walking and says that Mick has nothing to prove with refereeing the Hell in a Cell. Foley says he appreciates Spike's concern and will take his comments under consideration.

King welcomes us to the first ever Spinarooni contest. Booker T gets the mic and says the fans want to see a King-a-rooni first so Lawler does his version and it looks like an old man at a wedding trying to act cool by breaking dancing. Christian then does his version, calling it the Peep-a-rooni, Booker goes for it, but Christian jump him by kicking him in the head. But Booker gets the upper hand and sends Christian over the top rope before hitting a Spinarooni. Booker walks up the ramp but Christian comes out the entrance and nails him with the IC belt.

D-Von Dudley (w/ Bubba Ray Dudley) vs. Rodney Mack (w/ Theodore Long & Chris Nowinksi)
FUCK OFF!

Backstage: Terri interviews Goldberg, she asks him a question but I wasn’t paying attention all I heard was Goldberg say this Sunday at Bad Blood, Jericho is "Next" Jericho comes up behind Goldberg and whacks him in the back with a steel chair and runs off. Goldberg slowly gets up with that slow no-sell motion that he does.

Backstage: Austin is walking around backstage looking for Mick Foley and finally finds him, he asks why he looked intimidated by Triple H, are you afraid? And tells Foley he knows took him to hell and back every time and he expects more from Mick Foley. He says Triple H is going out there, and the choice is up to Foley.

The Cell lowers again and Triple H calls out Mick Foley to hear what decision he has made, Mick Foley comes out and says he listen to what Austin said and it made a lot of sense, he listen to what he had to say and it made a lot of sense. So he decided that even though it was a thrill to head the people cheer for him like the star he use to be he will return to the normal ordinary little life, starting this Monday June 16th because on Sunday he’ll be busy this Sunday June 15th standing inside that ring watching Kevin Nash beat the living hell out of eachother. But he fully understands that his consequences means Triple H is gonna kick his ass and it might be in his hotel room tonight or it might be at him home in front of his family

OH HEY GUESS WHAT? THE FUCK VIDEO CUTS OFF HERE! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!

 

[Crippler]

WWE Smackdown 06/12/2003
Orlando, Florida

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar
WWE Tag Team Champions: Eddie Guerrero & Tajiri
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio

Tonight: WWE Championship Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show, Arm Wrestling Contest (If Zack wins he gets a WWE contract) Vince McMahon vs. Zach Gowan.

Backstage: Matt is walking to the ring, but he stops and begins to at Moore and Crash saying he would still be champion if not for them. He tells them to stay in the back for his rematch next.

WWE Cruiserweight Championship: Rey Mysterio vs. Matt Hardy
Mattitude.com “Matt is too handsome to wear a mask like Rey†from main event to opener Matt whips Rey to start and goes for the injured groin, but Rey sends him into the corner and quickly goes for the 619. Matt ducks it and gets a Ricochet for two. They head up and Matt sets up for a top rope neckbreaker, but Rey reverses to a bulldog. Both are down, but Matt recovers first and connects with the Side Effect for two. Another one is reversed to a rollup for two. But Matt puts him on the apron, Rey springboards in with a bombs for two, but Matt counters for two. Rey injures his groin on a leapfrog, and Matt pounces but Rey pushes him away with a dropkick into the 619. Springboard legdrop gets two. Rey goes up, but Matt brings him down with a Splash Mountain bomb for two. Matt goes for the Twist of Fate, but Rey hangs onto the ropes to block and goes up with a sloppy rana for the win. Not as good as the first match, but still better than anything Raw is putting out right now. **3/4

Piper's Pit is set up with a Mexican Buffet and Piper called it "International Piper's Pit" Eddie Guerrero jokes that Roddy Piper would use the loaded Borito gimmick on him. Roddy Piper & Sean O'Haire tricks Tajiri into trading the title belt for some sushi Eddie tries to get it back, but Sean O'Haire said he LIED! So Piper shares drinks with Eddie & Tajiri, and Tajiri spits it in Piper's face. Eddie whacks Sean O'Haire and steals the belt back for Tajiri.

Backstage: Sable is sitting at Stephanie's desk, as she comes in. Sable says she couldn't find Gowen's contract, but she found out that Steph is bringing back the US Title. Stephanie thanks her for ruining the surprise and tells Sable to stop trying to sweet talk her. Stephanie says she knows Sable was put here by Vince, but says if she thinks she can out-manipulate her, she has another thing coming.

Torrie Wilson comes out to be guest ring announcer, WHAT! At least she looking bangin’ still.

Billy Gunn vs. A-Train
Billy Gunn returns to Smackdown! Using his old "Assman" gimmick and theme music. Torrie is on commentary and talks about how good looking and athletic he is. Gunn quickly wins the match, Torrie slaps Billy's ass and lets him return the favour before they leave together. FUCKIN’ HELL WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE PUSSY ASS TERRIBLE WRESTLER THAT GET TO ENJOY TORRIE (minus Tajiri, obviously)

The Undertaker vs. Johnny Stamboli (w/FBI)
Poor Taker he’s finally back to his old AWESOMESELF trying and putting on great performances but now he has to deal with this FBI trash. Taker hits him with the Last Ride for the win after giving Stamboli his best match to date. Post-Match: Taker attacks the FBI, he has Chuck set for the Last Ride but Nunzio hits him with a chair. The FBI quickly bails with Taker down in the ring. **1/2

Backstage: Mr. America is helping Zach Gowan warm up for his arm wrestling match with Vince McMahon

Stephanie McMahon comes out to the ring first to oversee the contest for obvious reasons, Sable interrupts and joins Stephanie in the ring but Steph doesn't let her say anything. Zack Gowen and Mr. America come out and then so does Vince with ripped up self comes out, Mr. America gets on the mic and challenges Vince McMahon to an arm wrestling match instead and Vince says he isn't afraid of Mr. America because he's got billion dollar biceps. Vince says he signed to arm wrestle "that little kid right there" and he will arm wrestle Mr. America if he leaves the ring when he loses. Vince & Mr. America lock up and fight for advantage until Mr. America flips his middle finger up. Suddenly, Sable steps in and stops the contest to save Vince, and Steph tells her to stay out of it. Vince & Mr. America lock up again, and Sable flashes Mr. America allowing Vince to win lmao Mr. America stops himself from knocking out Vince and leaves the ring with Stephanie McMahon. Vince also excuses Sable, telling her that she has a beautiful set of……eyes. Vince McMahon & Zach Gowan then lock up and Zach was about to beat Vince until Vince FUCKIN’ McMahon kicks Zach Gowan's leg out from under the table and slams his hand down for the win. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Vince tells Zach to get out of his ring, and then celebrates the only way he can.

Backstage: Mr. America consoles Zack, and The Big Show walks over. He tells Zack to forget about getting a contract, and walks off.

Chris Benoit & Rhyno vs. The Basham Brothers (w/Shaniqua)
So in the span of a week the Bashams went from bland, boring, lame and all round dull to S&M JESUS! Just like Taker is being wasted with the FBI Benoit is being wasted with shit like that. If only WWE would have given us a Taker/Benoit respect feud during this time. FUCK YOU WWE! Basham’s heat-segment sucked thankfully when Benoit took over he got something out of this but then it got ruined by Rhyno accidentally punches him, and Doug Basham hits a Leg Lariat to pin Benoit. FUCK OFF!

John Cena comes out and cuts a RAP!

John Cena vs. Funaki
SQUASH!

Kurt Angle comes down to the ring and gets on the mic, He talks about how good it is to be back again, and he's looking forward to fighting the winner of Brock vs. Big Show. He then calls out Shelton & Haas, and says they need to talk. Kurt says that neither Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas called him when he was in the hospital and asks why Team Angle wasn't around when he made his big return last week? Haas says they were sick, and Shelton says sick of being in his shadow. He asks where Kurt was, as their supposed captain and mentor, when they fought to keep the Angle name alive and had to defend the belts in a Ladder Match. Kurt says that Team Angle went from being World Class Athletes to World Class Whiners, Team Angle became Team Wangle Kurt says they just have to work at it and get the belts back, Haas says that Kurt Angle's been doing a lot of talking lately send that as a team, you're only as strong as your Captain. Haas says that Kurt Angle is no longer their Captain, he's a loser and they’re tired of the people chanting YOU SUCK! When they come out. Kurt cuts him off and says the people chant YOU SUCK! Because he earned, wrestling for 4 years. Haas says that they feel there needs to be a change of leadership. Charlie Haas names him and Shelton Benjamin co-captains, and Kurt Angle is below them. Kurt says that he is the founder of Team Angle, and fires both Shelton & Charlie. He then sings NA! NA! NA! NA! HEY! HEY! HEY! KISS MY ASS

Backstage: Shelton & Charlie attack Kurt Angle and lays him out, they then take off their warm up suits and throw it on top of him

WWE Championship: Brock Lesnar vs. The Big Show
Before the match end begins Brock bull rushes him into the corner and begins to deliver some shoulderblocks to the midsection of show. He goes to whip show out but he counters and kills Brock with a clothesline for a quick count. Brock gets up first and begins to hammer away before trying a bell-to-belly but a Show headbutt breaks it up. He whips Brock into the corner and with his thigh rams it into Brock's midsection followed by a chop. He connects with it a 2nd time and whips Brock into the opposite corner he goes charging in but Brock gets the boots up and tries to clothesline Show down but it doesn’t work and Show piefaces him away. That backs Brock to the ropes and Show comes charging in but Brock pulls down the top rope and Show tumbles to the outside. Brock follows him out and hammerers away on him back several times before attempting to throw Show into the steps but Show counters and tosses Brock into them instead. Back in, and Brock hits him with some boots to the gut but Show hits a side walk slam for two. He not begins to slow down the match by applying the half Boston crab but he makes the mistake of having Brock close to the rope and Brock manages to crawl with Show on hit back to the ropes. Show then backs him up into the corner and begins to work the midsection as Cole brings up Brock use to have broken ribs at the hands of the Big Show. Show whips him into the other corner and tries a splash but Brock moves and begins to hammer away on the head and body of Show, but Show stays on his feet he tries a clothesline but Brock ducks and connects with a HUGE GERMAN SUPLEX! He picks up Show for the F5 but his ribs give out and Show falls on top of him. Both men slowly get back to their feet as Show kills him with another clothesline, he signals for the chokeslam but as he’s about to pick Brock up Brock kinda leaps out and kicks away at the gut of show be goes to pick up momentum but Show comes back with a big boot followed by a legdrop for two. Chokeslam connects this time but Brock kicks out at two, SHOW IS PISSED! He goes for a 2nd and pulls Brock to the buckle and decides to bring Brock up to the top but Brock crotches him and fights him down. Both men are on the top rope and BROCK LESNAR SUPERPLEX SHOW OFF THE TOP AND THE RING FUCKIN’ IMPLODES TAZZ SAYS HOLY SHIT! LIVE ON AIR AS THE FANS GO NUTS, THE REF IS STUNNED AS BOTH MEN ARE OUT COLD AND THE REF CALLS FOR THE MEDICS. WE GET THREE DIFFERENT ANGLES AND IT STILL LOOKS BADASS. As for the match standard Brock/Show slugfest goodness, with an epic finish. **3/4

 

[Crippler]

WWE Bad Blood 2003
Houston, Texas

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam/Kane
WWE Women's Champion: Jazz

The Dudley Boyz vs. Christopher Nowinski & Rodney Mack (w/Theodore Long)
What a way to kick off a PPV Before the match we get footage of earlier on Heat, Teddy Long and Christopher Nowinski confronted D-Von Dudley and asked him to think about why his white brother always ordered him to get the tables. AWESOME! WAY TO START A FEUD, this match plain and simple sucked. The Dudley’s are a shell of their formerself and a matter of fact it looks like they ate their formerself. I have no idea why this is on PPV cause it looks like something that should be on Raw for two weeks before both teams fuck off and do nothing on heat for a year before getting fired. Then I finally figured it out it was an angle advancement match, because apparently that’s what PPV for Raw are now these days. Another Dudley’s break up is teased, I guess WWE forgot the first time when it flopped after a few weeks. Well D-Von was doing well but once the Hardcore title was dropped Bubba was fucked. Anyway this shitfest finally ended when the Dudleyz hit “WHAZZUP†Bubba tells D-Von to get the tables! D-Von goes to do it but Long gets on the apron and D-Von stops to think about it and hesitates on the table fetching. Eventually, he realizes how that the last time they broke up it flopped so he goes after Long, but Mack clotheslines him over the top from behind. Bubba then clotheslines Mack over the top as well before turning around and Nowinski’s nails him with the nose protector mask for the win. *1/2

On Heat, the 2nd Redneck Triathlon event was chosen as a Burping Contest.

Round one of the Redneck Triathlon sees a burping contest between Austin and Bischoff. Did they actually write this on paper and think it would be a good idea? They trade pre-recorded burps with mis-timed burp-syncing and Austin wins, but as shit as this was Austin doing jumping jacks to warm up for burps somewhat saved this.

Winner Gets The managerial services of Stacy Keibler: Test vs. Scott Steiner
So this was something, before the match Stacy gets her own entrance. Test asks for a kiss as she comes down the aisle way, but she simply walks past him and attempts to get into the ring with Steiner. He pulls her down to the floor and begins to talk shit to here, then something PHENOMENAL HAPPENS!

I watched the clip back at least 9 times before actually watching the match, they do some stuff and it was awful. I hate this PPV already, this was another Raw match with Raw time I think it went like 6 minutes and if it wasn’t for the build and stipulation I would say this is another match that should not have been on PPV. But I will say this we all make fun of how bad HHH/Scotty was and we all thought nothing can top how Bad those PPV matches were, this was even worse. Anyway Scotty wins after Test heads to the outside and gets a chair but Stacy won’t let him into the ring with it. He shoves her down and goes into the ring to nail Steiner with it but ends up hitting himself when the chair bounces off the ropes classic heel move and Steiner hits the reverse Russian Legsweep for the win. Post-Match: Steiner makes her do her entrance like 3 or 4 times, what a guy. Steiner then carries Stacy to the back on his shoulders Savage/Elizabeth style. 1/2*

Backstage: Eric Bischoff introduces Stone Cold Steve Austin to 4 hot young ladies he chose for the pie eating contest. They argue over who should go first, but it's decided Eric will go first if Austin can select his flavor of pie.

WWE Intercontinental Championship: Christian vs. Booker T
Christian has new music AGAIN! I don’t think he’s ever had a bad theme, what a guy. He also has a brand new video with the Peep-cantered Titantron. He also is wearing these red pants with Gold on the side with black C’s on the side. Booker T gets a huge pop, Christian kisses the belt before handing it to the ref. Booker and Christian lock up and Christian gets an armdrag to start. They lock up again with Booker T getting the advantage with a headlock takeover, Booker backs him into the corner as the ref breaks it up and Christian charges into a back body dropped for two. Christian then holds onto the ropes on a whip attempt and avoids a Sidekick but ends up taking an atomic drop for two. Christian gets on the apron and neck snaps Booker on the top ropes. Both men are on the outside now and Christian rams Booker’s head into the stairs. Back in, and Christian gets a two count before putting on a chinlock. Booker fights out with elbows and kicks until Christian cuts him off and heads to the top, it looks like he goes for the double axe-handle but Booker catches him and flapjacks, but both men are down. “Get That Sucka†chant starts as Booker gets up and makes his comeback with a flying forearm and a sidekick for two. A second sidekick gets two, but Christian gets up and goes for his reverse DDT drop. Booker blocks it, flapjacks him onto the ropes and gives him a reverse DDT for two. Booker attempts a roll-up out of the corner, but Christian rolls though it and holds onto the ropes for a two count. Booker charges and Christian gives him the BOOK END! CHRISTIAN END for two. Christian gets upset and throws a mini tantrum and gets rolled up by Booker for a close two, Booker gets thrown over the top, but lands on the apron and knees Christian in the midsection where he hits scissors kick and Christian falls to the mat, but Booker makes the mistake of not going for the cover, instead he heads to the top and looks like he’s about to hit the Hangover, but Christian gets up so Booker nails the missile for two. Christian rakes the eyes but Booker out of nowhere hits the sidekick and Booker and again instead of making the cover he does the SPINAROONIE! He goes for the scissors kick, but Christian bails, grabs his title and runs up the ramp to get counted out. SWERVE! The ref gets mic and says that if he doesn’t return to the ring before the count of 10, he’ll lose the match AND the title! WHAT! Christian stalls and has to run into the ring at the last minute and bails again just as quickly. Christian runs into the ring, grabs his title belt and nails Booker with it, so the ref has no choice to disqualify him as the crowd chants “Bullshit†HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Everything up to the finish was solid. **1/2

Lawler is in the ring to host the Redneck Triathlon, Event Two: PIE EATING! Austin is 1-0 right now, Bischoff and Austin head to the ring and Lawler begins his hosting duties before Austin interrupts. Austin confirms his deal with Bischoff about him choosing which pie he eats, to which Bischoff agrees. Austin says that he kept in mind the fact that Bischoff likes “mature†women the four girls from the prior segment are on the tron and Austin tells them that they won’t be needed tonight, lol @ the girls giving that sad face. Austin then brings out Mae Young and Bischoff is clearly upset and is ready to quit, but refuses to forfeit the entire Triathlon to Austin. He kisses Mae Young and tells Austin to “top that!†Austin says that he just kissed her, Mae then kicks Bischoff in the balls and sets him up for a Bronco Buster. But before she does hit it she rips off her skirt to reveal a thong, then gives him the Bronco Buster. FUCK THIS COMPANY! Bischoff says…â€Austin, you BASTARD…your turn!†Mae Young is READY for Austin’s carpet munching skills…but he decides to give her a Stunner instead. He forfeits and Bischoff is PISSED! 10 MINUTES LONG, FUCK THIS BRAND.

WWE World Tag Team Championship - Kane & Rob Van Dam vs. La Resistance
Before the match, La Resistance run down George Bush and other things I don’t care for cheap heat. This was 5 minutes long lmao for obvious reasons the French guys are still greener than grass and didn’t know how to heat segment on RVD correctly. Everyone know all you have to do it beat the shit out of him and he’ll do the rest. Kane's hot tag really sucked, the match breaks down and Kane no-sells a double-neckbreaker and hits another clothesline. Kane brawls out with Grenier and Rob follows with a plancha that grazes Kane by mistake La Resistance throw RVD back in the ring and nails their doubleteam Spinebuster for the win. FUCK MY LIFE! DUD!

Goldberg vs. Chris Jericho
Leave it to Jericho and Goldberg who had the most lopsided feud coming into the PPV to have the best match of the night. Goldberg has his security guards back, obviously WWE has seen the way Jericho has been getting the better of him and are afraid of what he might do so they gave him security guards again. NAW! THAT’S WAY TOO MUCH LOGIC FOR AN F PPV. Jericho bails from the ring as Goldberg arrives, to play just one more mind game with him. Goldberg charges at Jericho, but Jericho steps out of the way and he tackles Jericho the second time around and falls through the ropes with him to the floor. Goldberg attacks him with a bunch of knees. Back in the ring, and Goldberg misses two clothesline attempts and catches Jericho on a cross body try before slamming him down. He hiptosses Jericho out of the corner and Jericho rolls to the other corner as Goldberg comes charging in at Jericho in the corner, but Jericho uses his speed to sidestep him and to work on him, but Goldberg shoves him away but Jericho keeps charging to no avail. Goldberg press slams him and drops him crotch first onto the top rope. Side kick for Jericho, who falls to the outside. Jericho picks himself up with help from the security rail as well. Goldberg looks to spear Jericho through the security rail like he did to Rosey, but Jericho dives out of the way and Goldberg goes FLYING through the security barricade into the crowd! He holds his right shoulder and the spear is replayed a few times as the referee checks on him. IT LOOKS FUCKIN’ AWESOME! Jericho goes after Goldberg and rams him into the steel post, shoulder first and Goldberg is bleeding slightly from the arm. Back in, Jericho comes off the top with a missile dropkick onto Goldberg’s arm for two. He jumps right back to attacking the arms with a series of punches as Goldberg sells it beautify, Goldberg hits a desperation kick, but Jericho is able to come back with a single arm DDT and a Fujiwara armbar. He has it locked in but Goldberg rolls through it and Jericho goes back to clubbing on the arm. Jericho attempts a sledge off the middle rope, but Goldberg catches him with a kick to the midsection. He hits a shoulderblock and an atomic drop, selling the shoulder the entire time. Goldberg attempts a hip toss, but Jericho reverses it into a DDT for two count, Goldberg pulls himself up in the corner as Jericho comes charging at Goldberg, but hits a high hip lock takeover. Jericho dropkicks Goldberg down and then nails the bulldog and hits the Lionsault for two. A second bulldog is connects and Jericho goes for a second Lionsault, but Goldberg is up he tries to catch him, but blows it so he just picks him up and slams him down Goldberg sets up for the spear as Jericho slowly gets to his feet and Goldberg hits him with a weak spear and sells the shoulder He gets up holding his arm some more and attempts the Jackhammer as the “Goldberg sucks†chant, but he can’t pick Jericho up. Jericho low blows Goldberg behind the refs back and puts on the Walls of Jericho as Goldberg tries to go to the ropes. Jericho pulls him to the middle of the ring, but Goldberg turns it over and powers out. He sets up for the spear a second time and KILLS HIM! Goldberg then finishes him off with the Jackhammers for the win. This was fun times, it was like DDP/Goldberg but WWE’s version of it. Post-Match: Goldberg walks over to some Jericho fans and talks shit to them, WHAT A GUY! ***1/4

Backstage: A spin of the wheel determines that the final event in the triathlon will be a sing-off.

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels
Shawn us wearing the Texas logo attire tonight, you know the one he worse at Royal Rumble 1997 against Sid. Lock up to start and Flair applies a hammerlock and strutting after the break. Shawn then applies one of his own and returns the favor with a struts, but instead of a classy man he walks up to Flair and slaps him across the face. Flair takes Shawn down and they jockey for position until Flair gets to the ropes, signalling for a break. Shawn connects with the headlock on Flair and once again a rope break breaks it up as Flair shoves Michaels who slaps Shawn back but he again returns it and Flair falls to the outside. Shawn follows him out with a pescado and throws him back into the ring. Where Flair kicks him in the knee and chops him in the corner, but Michaels fights out by whipping Flair, but Flair reverses it and drops down, but Michaels drops down as well into a side headlock. In the corner now, and Flair chops Shawn but he retaliates with a few of his own and some punches. Flair goes for an atomic drop, but Shawn takes over as the ref asks for a break, allowing Flair the opportunity to clip Michaels in the back of the knee and he goes to work. A knee drop on Michael’s knee sets Flair up with chops in the corner and a few stomps to the knee. Flair drops all of his weight on Shawn’s knee and puts the figure four on for almost a minute and Flair gets a few two counts out of it before Michaels finally gets to the ropes. Hebner calls for the break and gets into a shoving match with Flair who is clearly learning from Triple H to not take any of his shit Flair refocuses on Shawn and goes to work on the leg again, he holds onto Michaels’ leg only to get meet with an enziguiri, but Flair comes back with chops in the corner. Shawn fights out of the corner and back body drops Flair while selling the leg. Flair capitalizes and heads to the top, but Shawn catches him still on the top and throws him down, Shawn signals for Sweet Chin Music but Flair catches it and going for the figure four but Michaels gets a quick roll up for two. Shawn then applies his own figure four, but Flair pokes Shawn in the eye to break the hold and gets to his feet where he goes for a back suplex, but Shawn flips over it and shoves Flair into the corner, where he runs into Hebner. Shawn rolls up Flair, but Hebner is late for the count and only gets a two. Michaels whips Flair into the turnbuckles and Flair does the “Flair corner Flip bump and heads off the top rope, only to be crouched by Shawn. Shawn then then heads up and hits him with a superplex but instead of going for the cover he bails and goes under the ring to set up a table at ringside. Flair attacks him as he tries to get back into the ring and tries to suplex him over the top through the table, but Shawn recovers and places Flair on the table. Suddenly, Randy Orton runs in from the crowd only to run into Sweet Chin Music Shawn goes up top and hits a splash twisting in mid air through Flair on the table, Flair starts SCREAMING and sells the HELL out of it as it’s revealed that he’s bleeding hardway from his back. Shawn goes for the cover but only gets two. Flair goes to the corner to recover, Shawn goes behind Flair and Hebner goes behind Michaels and both men get low blowed. Flair gets up and struts to and Michaels gets up. Back body drop followed up by a flying forearm and a kip up by Michaels. He slams Flair and goes up top and connects with the flying elbow. He signals for Sweet Chin Music again and hits it. But Randy Orton comes running into the ring and KILLS Shawn with a chair shot to the head and puts Flair on top for the win. Loved the one-upsmanship at the start, then the match broke down and it lowered then it got completely ruined when the Table, overbooking kicked in. Still more in terms of in ring than Mania was, too back Mania kills it with emotions and story-telling. **3/4

UGH! So Bischoff comes out to sing, and he lip-syncs his own theme. Austin interrupts on the tron to call him out. He tells Bischoff to do it without the lyrics…so play the instrumental. Bischoff starts signing…poorly, of course, until Austin stops him to tell him how brutal this is. Since Austin can’t sing either, they’re going to spin the wheel one more time. Austin goes to “spin†the wheel and decided not to totally disrespect out intellect by forcing the wheel to stop on Pig Pen Fun, Austin tells the fans to make sure Bischoff doesn’t get out of the arena until he gets there. Bischoff tries to go through the crowd and a plant throws him back. Austin comes to the ring and attacks Bischoff gives him a Stunner. He takes Bischoff to the top of the stage and throws him into the pig pen and Austin wins the fuckin’ trash.

Hell In A Cell Match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Triple H vs. Kevin Nash (Special Referee: Mick Foley)
Triple H is in all blue, dem new colours Hunter goes after Nash quickly, but eats a Big Boot. Nash sends him to the outside and tries to ram him into the cage but Hunter blocks it and goes back into the ring but Nash gets up and punches numerous times with right hands. Hunter takes the advantage by dropping Nash throat first into the ropes and punches in the corner, but Nash comes back with knees and hits the framed elbow before clotheslining Hunter to the outside. Nash slams his head into the ring post and then whips him into the cage mesh. He whips him into the cage a second time, Nash backdrops Hunter on the outside on the mats and it looked and sounded nasty, Nash then throws him back in and goes to work in the corner again with the same moves. Sideslam by Nash gets two he then follows it up with a pair of elbowdrops for two. Nash goes to the outside and brings in a chair and he nails Hunter in the midsection and across the back before throwing the chair down and whipping him into the ringsteps. He then picks them up and then throws them at him but Hunter moves out of the way and the steps hit the side of the Cell, but unlike the HHH/Foley the Cell doesn’t break. CONSPIRACY! Hunter gets back up and it now hits him that he almost got hit in the head by flying steps so he slams Nash into the steps, but to no avail Nash goes for the Jackknife on the outside but the limitations of the cage won’t allow it, so Hunter gets back on his feet and tees off on Nash before going under the ring and opens up a tool box He goes to nail Nash with a piece of metal, but Nash hits him first and sends him down. On the floor, Hunter grabs a hammer and hits Nash in the repaired knee with it then smashes him in the head with the hammer Hunter gets into the ring and Foley takes the hammer away from him and gets into a shoving match which Foley wins, Hunter goes after Nash’s head now, which is now bloody and he grates his forehead on the cell. He grabs a screwdriver and begins to dig a hole in Nash’s head. JR. actually apologizes for the “graphic display of violenceâ€. Foley takes it away from him as well. So Hunter goes under the ring and gets the barbed wire 2x4 and he hits Nash in the midsection with it. lol @ Foley taking every weapon away but they kept getting more violent. Nash blocks a second shot and grabs the 2x4 himself. He nails Hunter on the top of the head and now he’s bleeding, a second shot with the 2x4 and Nash sets it up in the corner, laying it on the top turnbuckle. He clotheslines Hunter from corner to corner and Snake Eyes him into the barbed wire 2x4! For two, that looked AWESOME! Nash goes to the outside and picks up the ring steps, bringing it into the ring. Hunter goes to the floor and Nash goes after him, but he smacks Nash in the head with a wooden crate, breaking it Triple H picks up the sledgehammer from underneath the ring and Foley takes it from him. Hunter then decks Foley because of it and picks up the ring steps. He charges at Nash, but Nash counters with the drop toe hold causing Hunter to hit himself with the ring steps. Nash gets up and goes for a chair shot on Triple H, but he kicks him in the knee, knocking him down and uses the chair on him he sees Foley getting up and kills him in the head with it too Foley gets busted open and all three men are down. Foley gets up and pulls out Mr. Socko and applies it to Hunter but Hunter low blows Foley to get out of it. He then picks up Foley as Nash charges at them with the steel steps and nails them both Nash covers Trips, but there’s no one to count as Foley is down. He gets up on the apron and Nash goes to check on him. But Triple H charges from behind and sends Nash into Foley, who goes FLYING backwards into the cage. FUCKIN’ MVP FOLEY! Hunter goes for the Pedigree, but it’s reversed into the 2x4 in the corner! JACKKNIFE POWERBOMB! But it only gets two. Foley struggles to get back to his feet as does Nash, but Triple H smacks Nash in the face with the sledgehammer and Nash is down to one knee he tries to gets up and as he does Hunter hits him with the Pedigree for the win. This was actually a lot better than I remembered it being, I loved the different weapons used here and the times when Foley would take one weapon away so HHH would comeback with something more violent. I also forgot how fuck brutal some of Foley’s bumps were for a guy who hasn’t been in a ring since 2000 he looked like he died at least 5 times. *** - ***1/4

 

[Crippler]

WWE Raw 06/16/2003
Dallas, Texas

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian
World Tag Team Champions: La Resistance
WWE Women's Champion: Jazz

Raw opens with Mick Foley coming down to the ring and getting on the mic, he says he'll be here tonight and next week and begins to and plugs his new book. He says last night, it felt really good to be in a WWE ring again at Bad Blood last night and he was a man of his word, and counted 1-2-3 for Triple H. Foley then talks about tasting the blood from being busted open in the cell and that allowed him to remember who he is. Suddenly, EVOLUITON IS MYSTERY! PLAYS :wank and Evolution make their way to the ring. Orton talks about Triple H retiring Mick Foley 3 years ago for being a "loser" and that the Evolution will add a member to the Evolution tonight, Foley sarcastically says he has always wanted to be a IV Horsemen wannabe he then says that Randy Orton has a lot of testosterone, but doesn't know what to do with it and if Triple H is the best today, and Ric Flair is the greatest of all time then all Randy Orton has done is sit at home with an injured arm. Foley then talks about driving up and down the road busting his ass for 15 years and earning his place and says that Randy Orton will never be a Superstar until he wins WWE Gold. Orton claims that all the fans paid money to see him, not Mick Foley and he didn't have to mutilate his body to make a name for himself. Randy Orton takes off his shirt and poses and says that guys like Mick Foley are extinct. Orton says he wishes Triple H didn't retire Mick Foley, so he could beat his ass! Foley challenges Orton to "bring it on" so Evolution surrounds Mick Foley and attacks him, but Foley fights back until Orton gives Foley a brutal clothesline and Evolution begin the assault. Suddenly Al Snow & Maven run down and make the save. ORTON/FOLEY BEGINS

Backstage: Eric Bischoff is yelling at Mae & Moolah about what happened last night and Eric says that Mae Young will wrestle tonight.

The Dudley Boyz & Ivory vs. Rodney Mack, Christopher Nowinski & Jazz (w/Theodore Long)
FUCK OFF!

Backstage: Rob Van Dam talks to Kane and tries to get them on the same page. Kane says RVD lost last night, not him. RVD says they're a team though and Kane turns his back on him. RVD says Kane's hiding something and it's more than just what's under the mask, Kane gets defensive changed and says maybe he has, and if RVD doesn't like it, he can leave. Kane says if they don't win tonight, the team is done.

Backstage: Maven comes in and says that he just got a 1-on-1 match with Randy Orton tonight, and Foley says that when the Evolution is involved, it's never 1-on-1 and he's going out with Maven tonight.

Lance Storm vs. Garrison Cade
Midway through the match Stone Cold Steve Austin comes out with a pillow and blanket and chants BOORRINNNGG! BOOOORRRINNGGG! He says he hasn't slept in a few days, and hopes Lance Storm will put him to sleep Austin then says that Lance Storm's matches are boring and mocks him as the match begins, he continues to mock the match all the way through, which only pisses Lance Storm off. Austin then calls Lance Storm is the most boring son of a bitch ever and that allows Cade to sneak up behind Lance Storm and roll him up for the win.

Chris Jericho & Christian vs. Goldberg & Booker T
So the Vid cuts off as this begins and comes back during the next segment :hm:

Footage of the "pie-eating contest" from Bad Blood is shown, Bischoff storms out to the ring all pissed off and people laughing at him and introduces Fabulous Moolah & Mae Young out to the ring. He then introduces Mae Young's opponent for the night, Test!

Test vs. Mae Young (w/Fabulous Moolah)
Austin comes up on the big screen and announces the special guest referee, Scott Steiner. As he and Stacy comes down, Test jumps Mae Young and nails a pump handle slam on her before bailing. Stacy, Moolah and EMTs check on her.

Spike Dudley vs. Rico (w/Jackie Gayda)
Fruitcake Rico is back

Backstage: Austin gives RVD and Kane a speech about how they need to win, and specifically yells at Kane about how he used to be a monster. He says the tag titles matter more than their stupid issues.

Randy Orton (w/Ric Flair) vs. Maven (w/Mick Foley)
EVOLUTION IS MYSTERY! Orton even debuts the “Orton Poseâ€￾ This was fun Orton is coming onto his only one match in which is crazy but he looks like he’s a couple of big matches away from being the top mid-card guy.

WWE World Tag Team Championships: Rob Van Dam & Kane vs. La Resistance
Some stuff happens for 6 minutes it was better than the PPV but still no fucks are given until, Sylvan shoves RVD off the top onto Kane on the floor, and Kane SNAPS! He kills Sylvan on the floor and nails Dupree with a chair to the face for the DQ. Post-Match: Kane destroys the refs for getting in the ring and then Chokeslams Dupree, he brings Sylvan back in and also killed him with the chair. Chokeslams Sylvan and suddenly, Triple H's music hits and he comes out to the ring and congratulates Kane. He says he knows they haven't always gotten along , but he respects Kane, and tonight he can change his life, he can help Kane evolve. He offers Kane a chance to join Evolution. Austin then comes out and says Triple H hates Kane's guts and wants Kane only because he's a threat to his title. Triple H says that if Kane was in evolution, not even Steve Austin can do anything about it, Austin offers Kane a World title shot next week against Triple H at Madison Square Garden. Eric Bischoff then comes out and says if Kane chooses that and loses, then he'll be forced to UNMASK! Kane grabs both Stone Cold & Triple H by the throat. He picks up Stone Cold for a moment, but sets him down and then chokeslams Triple H.

NEXT WEEK; TITLE VS. MASK!

 

[Crippler]

WWE Smackdown 06/19/2003
San Antonio, Texas

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar
WWE Tag Team Champions: Eddie Guerrero & Tajiri
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio

Tonight: It’s the Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar rematch for the WWE Championship and the ring has been reinforced.

The Undertaker vs. Nunzio (w/FBI)
The match starts off with Nunzio shadow boxing the then gives Taker his knee and Taker gives him the stare off death, Suddenly Taker flinches and Nunzio dives out of the ring headfirst. The rest of the match was good ol’ fun squash. The match ended when Taker has him up for the last ride and while Taker is in the air he’s doing the sign of the cross Taker slams him down via last ride for the win. Post-Match: FBI attacks Taker, but the APA music hits and Faarooq with some guy who has short blonde hairs runs down for the save. Oh wait that’s Bradshaw

Backstage: Zach Gowan is walking around looking for Stephanie McMahon (When did this guy get permission to walk backstage ) He walks up to Bill DeMott & Spanky and asks where he can find Stephanie's office? They tell him and the funny thing is it was 5 seconds away from them. Zach knocks on the door and Sable answers, and explains that Stephanie McMahon isn't in right now. Sable invites Zach to come in and wait, he declines, she asks if he's afraid to be with a “Real†woman, he grows some balls and walks in.

Chris Benoit & Rhyno come out for a tag match, but instead Stephanie comes out holding the US title. She announces the two of them will fight in the first round of the US Title Tournament, and the finals will be at her Smackdowns PPV Vengeance.

US Championship Tournament - 1st Round: Chris Benoit vs. Rhyno
This was much different than I expected, you can clearly see Rhyno is about to turn heel soon not just because of the fuck ups between him and Benoit but the real aggressiveness he showed here. The match started off as two friends going hard at one another but it was with mat work and they broke clean at times. But obviously Benoit would win the mat work so Rhyno turned it up and really began attacking the neck and although it’s been a year now since Benoit came back from the surgery he still worked it stiff. A funny moment happens when because I have the uncut version and see what happens during commercials I hear Tazz tell Cole to say “when we come back say these two have been going at it all commercial break†I should point at Rhyno pretty much slowly got back into the ring during the commercial Anyway when we do comeback that’s when Rhyno begins to work the neck and apart from the lie Tazz said earlier he was on about the psychology, about both men’s neck injuries, the friendship and the fact that Rhyno was playing up to the crowd which he’s not use to seeing. Benoit’s selling was phenomenal like always but I felt the stuck which the chinlock for far too long and it really killed the crowd and me which is weird, because I normally don’t have an issue with rest holds. Thankfully they kinda made up for it during the Benoit comeback. The match ends when Benoit hits the first German of the match 10 minutes in WHAT! He connects with the diving headbutt but Rhyno kicks out at two. Rhyno comes back with a DDT, but misses the GORE! As Benoit sidesteps him he tries it again but Benoit counters it to the Crossface and he’s forced to tap. Tazz being the FUCKIN’ Man points out Benoit held on a bit longer than needed once the match ended. **3/4

Backstage: Zach Gowan is still waiting for Stephanie and Sable begins to whore it up, she then allows Zach to touch her boob and he acts like he's never done it before and I’m sure he hasn’t.

Rey Mysterio vs. Kanyon
Before the match Cole says Tazz and Kanyon are like neighbors because Kanyon is from Queens and Tazz is brom Brooklyn, and Tazz says Kanyon isn’t allowed anywhere near redhook, trust me. WE DON’T LIKE PEOPLE LIKE HIM :hm: This was a good match packed into a short amount of time, it looks like Rey has recovered from the “Groin†injury as he looked faster than usual. The match ends when Rey hit the 619 and then the West Coast Pop for the win. Kanyon looked fucking great for the 4 minutes this got, Rey made him look AWESOME! And Kanyon showed he can go with the smaller guys and take a beating from them if you want to get them over. **3/4

Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin come out with new music and new color gear. Shelton says they're not going to apologize, and says leaving Team Angle was the best thing to ever happen to them. Haas says the Team Angle name was holding them back, because they're the best damn tag team period. Haas calls out Kurt next week, but Kurt Angle comes out now and calls them wimps and crybabies. Kurt says he represents doing things right now and not waiting and accepts Haas’ challenge but for right now.

Kurt Angle vs. Charlie Haas (w/Shelton Benjamin)
So this was good but silly, and I’ll get to the silly part later. The early portion was all Teacher vs. Student matwork and the amazing thing is Kurt who just came off major neck surgery and misses 2 months did not look like he missed a beat in the first few exchanges. The guy is and was a natural, it’s a shame 2013 Kurt is un-watchable though But here’s when shit got sill so Haas doesn’t target the neck at the start and I’m thinking they’ll prob get to it soon. Well Shelton tosses Kurt shoulder first into the steps and the Ref sends him to the locker-room well, as we SD goes to the commercial Tazz calls Cole out on him saying Kurt is selling the arm when it’s really the arm. Think about it Haas is working on Kurt’s arm not the neck, makes sense doesn’t it? A man’s first match back after neck surgery and you work the arm because your partner sent him arm first into the steps. C’MON MAN! I guess Kurt or WWE could have said I don’t want wrestlers working your neck so soon. Haas’ arm work was solid but uneventful and what made it worse Kurt no sold all of it like for the rest of the match, it’s like either he totally forgot or he was like fuck this I’m not looking weak and got his shit in. The match ends when Kurt goes for the Angle Slam, but Haas counters with a German suplex of his own. Haas then pulls down his own strap to set up a bad version of the Angle Slam, which Kurt reverses into one his own Angle slam for the win. Post-Match: Haas attacks Kurt from behind and Benjamin quickly runs in to help the assault, they apply a double-anklelock until Brock makes the save. ***

[video=youtube;XynGQx_IXXc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XynGQx_IXXc[/video]​

Billy Gunn (w/Torrie Wilson) vs. Jamie Noble (w/Nidia)
So Torrie is still looking AMAZING! Nice to see Nidia and Noble hillbillies gimmick is still going strong. As for the match I didn’t care for it at all Gunn is doing the same stuff he did in ’99 and I still don’t care for him. NEXT!

[video=youtube;j4pm5VCvFCQ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4pm5VCvFCQ[/video]​

Eddie Guerrero (w/Tajiri) vs. Sean O'Haire (w/Roddy Piper)
Eddie and Tajiri come out in the sweetest looking low rida care I’ve ever seen. Roddy Piper brings a bottle of tequila and drinks it during the match O'Haire sucks so much it’s not even funny, the guy was just all promos cause his wrestling was pathetic. It’s this “Unorthodox†moves that consist of shitty looking kicks and holds. The match ends when Eddie worked over the knee and was ready to hit the frog splash when Piper spit the Tequila in his face. O’Haire then hit the Prophecy for the win. *

WWE Championship: Brock Lesnar vs. The Big Show
I popped huge for Brock going right to the corner of the ring that the superplex happen last week and baited Show to come in before jumping over him landing on his feet and he goes right into the shoulderblocks. He goes to whip Show but Show counter and Brock counters that with a clothesline sending Show to the outside, Brock then sends him into the post and begins to club on his back but a single mid-section show by Show sends him to his knees. Back in, and Brock gets up first as Show makes his way onto the apron but Brock knocks him off. Brock uses this time to catch his breath and that allows Show to as well, Brock is just standing by the ropes and Show sweeps his legs then swings him from inside the ring to the fucking guard rails. Back in and Show works the mid-section and chest with a single chop sends Brock outside. But this time Show makes the mistake of allowing Brock to get back to his feet and that allows Brock to hang show up on the ropes neck first, whipping him back, boots and punches to show but he walks right into a side walk slam for two. Show connects with a headbutt then the punch before he begins to stand on Brock neck. Show is now slowing down the pace but keeping the pressure on at all times not allowing Brock any room to move. He goes for a chop but Brock ducks under and begins to shoulderblock him again, he tries a whip but Show counters with a killer clothesline for two. Show then applies the abdominal stretch as Cole and Tazz talk about how Brock had a broken rib but that can’t fully heal as he’s constantly in the ring. Brock simply powers out, but walks into a big boot then the HUGE LEGDROP for two. Show then places Brock on the top corner and he tries to return the superplex favour from last week, but Brock counters with a low blow and Show falls in his hip. Brock connects with a flying forearm off the top and shoulderblocks but Show counter but misses a charge and Brock German’s him and starts the comeback, but the F5 is blocked as Show holds the ropes and Haas and Shelton run in for the DQ. Post-Match: Brock takes out Haas and Benjamin, but Show chokeslams him and Kurt Angle then makes the save by delivering the Angle Slam to show and taking out both Haas & Benjamin, but walks right into the worse looking chokeslam ever it’s like Show’s hand or Kurt is so sweaty that he just slips out of him hand Show hits him with a 2nd and Mr. America makes the save by taking out Show for laughing at Zach. He hits him with the big boots and goes to press slam him but Haas and Shelton break it up, but Mr. America takes them out and Show hits him with the chokeslam. So he took out Brock, Kurt and now Mr. America :hm: I wonder what’s gonna happen next week. **3/4

Smackdown goes off air: Mr America takes out Show and Haas out of the ring as Brock F5’s Shelton and Kurt gives him the ankle lock. Haas tries to get in but Brock just F5’s him. They all celebrate with hugs and raised arms.

 

[Crippler]

WWE Raw 06/23/2003
Madison Square Garden, New York City

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H,
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian
WWE World Tag Team Champions: La Resistance
WWE Women's Champion: Jazz

Tonight: Triple H vs. Kane, its title vs. mask.

Christian & Test vs. Booker T Scott Steiner (w/Stacy Keibler)
Pretty obvious when Christian and Booker were in it was fun but Scotty and Test sucked big time, so did Test/Booker so I would say anytime Christian wasn’t in it was uninteresting. This also got 3 minutes so it was pretty rushed, I hope all matches are like this. *1/2

Backstage: Kane is looking at himself in the mirror.

Maven vs. Christopher Nowinski (w/Theodore Long)
Maven wins with a roll up in 30 seconds in

In the parking lot: Evolution arrive, FUCK YEAH!

Chris Jericho comes out for the Highlight Reel, but before he brings out his special guest he gets some cheap heat by mocking New York. He goes to the Jeritron 5000 to show footage from last week of Austin shitting on Lance, and he calls Austin a bully, and his guest tonight is Lance Storm. Lance reads a prepared statement about not being boring Lance Storm tells the crowd to go to a circus if they want glitz and glamour. Suddenly, Austin comes on the big screen chanting BORING again and orders the crew to take the set down, he then makes Chris Jericho & Lance Storm vs. the Dudley Boyz for tonight.

Chris Jericho & Lance Storm vs. The Dudley Boyz
So Jericho and Storm gave the Dudleyz their best match in like 2 years. I stopped reviewing this and deleted all the review I did by accident when I head fuckin’ Lawler say “I don’t think Storm or Jericho have ever teamed up before†C’MON! I KNOW NOTHING MATTER UNLESS IT’S HAPPEN IN WWE BUT FUCK ME. Thankfully JR told him they have teamed in the past, but in his words it was many moons ago. The crowd chanting boring whenever Storm did a move was hilarious, especially when he applied the sleeper to Bubba.

Backstage: Kane is still looking at himself in the mirror.

Backstage: Randy Orton is reading Foley’s book, and Flair makes fun of it. Flair then goes on to say that they have to make sure Kane goes down tonight but first they have to take out Nash and Michaels in this tag match.

La Resistance come out and sing the French National Anthem, but The Hurricane stops them. Sylvian Grenier challenges Hurricane to find a tag team partner and Hurricane says he has found a tag team partner, Sgt. Slaughter!

La Resistance vs. The Hurricane & Sgt. Slaughter
This was like a minute maybe two, I don’t care anymore.

Backstage: Kane is still looking in the mirror

Stone Cold Steve Austin comes out and says Wrestlemania XX will be in Madison Square Garden and unveiled the LOGO He then brings out Mick Foley and says he thinks Mick Foley is a genius and he wants an autograph copy of Tatum Brown. Austin then calls out RVD, D-Von, Bubba, Spike, Tommy Dreamer & Al Snow along with a framed Hardcore title. Austin plays this BADASS video package of Mick Foley's career including all three faces of Foley.

[video=youtube;DZIgKg6NIEY]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZIgKg6NIEY[/video]​

Austin says that Mick Foley is the toughest son of a bitch he's ever met and presents Mick Foley with the original Hardcore title belt enclosed in a wooden frame. Just as Mick Foley was about to speak, Vince McMahon's music hits and Vince says the last time he saw Mick Foley, he said he'd never step foot in a WWE ring again. Vince threatens to smash Mick Foley with the belt and pumble him but instead he makes like he's going to abuse Mick, but instead changes his tune and says "Thank You!" Mick Foley forces a hug on Vince and says he had tears trickling down his cheek watching the video package dedicated to him, it was great to be in the ring with so many great superstars -- and AL SNOW! lmao Foley talks about watching Jimmy Snuka jump off the cage and wanting to give the fans the same feel that gave him. He says that he thinks he did exactly that, and hopes that the fans would know who he was. And if he knew what Dorthy Gail meant when she said "there's no place like home" he hopes he gets a phone call down the line to someday be back inside a WWE ring.

Shawn Michaels & Kevin Nash vs. Ric Flair & Randy Orton
Shawn has knee pads over his attire, who is this guy. It had its moments but JESUS! Nash is pathetic with his quads he doesn’t even try here and just even slower than normal. Shawn was having an off night too, it’s weird Shawn has only been in two good matches since August thank god he would find his groove later on in the year cause this Michaels looks like a shell of his former self unless it’s in a bit match environment, the guy can’t even sell arm work during a tag match that involved his idol. Okay back to the match the only time this was somewhat enjoyable was during the Evolution heat segment on Shawn, Nash’s hot tag sucked balls thankfully he’s 2 months away from fucking off. The match ends when Shawn hits sweet chin music on Flair for the win. **

[video=youtube;5rXZpH86TC4]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rXZpH86TC4[/video]​

Five Minute White Boy Challenge: Goldberg vs. Rodney Mack (w/Theodore Long)
Goldberg beat him in 26 seconds Just think Maven was 4 seconds away from having quickest squash of the night

Backstage: Kane is still looking in the mirror, but suddenly RVD walks over to him and says he has a good feeling about the match and "that title is yours" Kane takes one last look in the mirror and punches it, shattering it into pieces.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship “Title vs. Mask†Kane vs. Triple H (w/Ric Flair)
As AWESOME! As the one week build was and as excited as you was, as soon as the bell rings you remember it’s HHH vs. Kane the two guys who have no in ring chemistry at all except from when they hit lightning in a bottle back at Judgement Day 2001. What makes this even more funnier is it reminded me of those late WCW matches with Hunter playing that main eventer lazy heel and the match just consists of Hunter taking as much cheap shots as possible. Lots of the exchanges were just sloppy and just sad to see, I remember watching this live and I was prob about 12 and the hugest Triple H fan in my school, I never believed Kane would win and it’s not to say I was smart to the business at 12 but a guy being shipped around then in a tag team for 4 months would just not win the title on Raw like that. Maybe if it was 1997-2000 Kane sure but this Kane was a shell of himself, anyway the match has a ton of interference's to further add to my point of WCW level. The match ends when Flair tries to hit Kane with the belt but he fights it off and knocks Flair out of the ring and he hits Hunter with the belt, but we have no ref. Well Charlies uns out and counts but Hunter kicks out at two so Kane snaps and throws him out of the ring. Kane stops for a moment and Hunter low blows him from behind and connects with the Pedigree but he kicks out at two, SWERVE! Another try is reversed but Kane goes after Flair and another Pedigree is reversed by Kane as Flair & Hunter collide. Kane then chokeslams Hunter, but before he can make the cover Orton jumps the guard rails and connects with the RKO and Hunter finishes him with the 2nd Pedigree for the win. Post-Match: Eric Bischoff comes out and demands Kane unmask immediately. Evolution attacks Kane when he's about to but RVD runs out and they run off Evolution from the ring, Kane chokeslams Orton. Kane walks around the ring for a few moments and then pulls the mask off revealing his burnt face. He then turns around and chokeslams RVD. **

 

[Crippler]

WWE Smackdown 06/26/2003
Madison Square Garden, New York City

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar
WWE Tag Team Champions: Eddie Guerrero & Tajiri
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio

John Cena comes out wearing a Larry Bird Celtics jersey on and says that Madison Square Garden is pretty big, but he's "way bigger than MSG!" and that in one year, he's become the most respected in-ring veteran. He says that he wouldn't be where he is now if he didn't accept the open challenge this time last year. Cena announces that he’ll be main-eventing Wrestlemania XX and issues an open challenge to any rookie punks who wanna step up, Orlando Jordan comes out UGH!

John Cena vs. Orlando Jordan
Before the bell rings Cena makes fun of him some more, but turns his back and OJ attacks. This was like a minute maybe two and OJ looked decent to start but that was mainly due to Cena bumping from him, the match ends when OJ hits the crossbody off the top but Cena rolls though and uses the tights for the win. Post-Match: Cena gives him the FU and puts the boots to him. Suddenly, The Undertakers music hits and he rides his bike down to the ring. Taker gets into the ring, and John Cena bails out and leaves. Taker stands over OJ as he gets to his feet, then gives him a pat on the ribs as Tazz tells us APA & Taker vs. FBI is up next. *1/2

The Undertaker & The Acolytes vs. The F.B.I
FBI debut the good theme song here finally, this was weird it was pretty much Taker making Palumbo and Stamboli look good when he was in but as soon as it was their turn to take over the heat on Faarooq is was sloppy and poor. Stamboli looked like he tried but that Palumbo just didn’t care even during the rest holds it seemed it was half-assed all the time. Bradshaw only got into the match for the hot tag and killed Stamboli with the Clothesline from Hell. Also lol @ Nunzio not tagging in the whole match but he would only come in to break up pins then run back onto the apron. At least Taker can move away from this terrible feud and start a program with Cena. *1/2

In the streets of New York, Noble is signing a piece of paper for the elderly couple but we would find out that they are looking for the subway. An attorney approaches Jamie Noble and informs him that his aunt Lucile has died and left him $827,000. Noble and Nidia get excited and Noble tells Nidia to give him one of those special kisses so she goes to unbuckle his pants Noble pulls him off and she makes out with the attorney. Noble then pulls her off and he begins to make out with her as they celebrate being richer.

Backstage: Sable begins to him on Vince McMahon, she tells him how sext she thinks he is and she begins to rub her fingers through his hair. She wants him to do the same to her but he just stands there and says "not tonight, he has something else to do tonightâ€

US Championship Tournament - 1st Round: Matt Hardy vs. Rikishi
Rikishi still sucks but he tried here and it was somewhat enjoyable. I would say all of the match was back and forth, the match ends when Rikishi hit the Rikishi Driver (Inverted Piledriver) for two. He then drags Matt to the corner and attempts the Banzai drop but Matt gets the knees up, Twist of Fate gets two. So he uncovers a turnbuckle but walks into a superkick that backs him into the corner. Rikishi charges in but Matt moves and Rikishi hits the exposed steel, Matt hits a 2nd Twist of Fate for the win. **1/4

We see that bitch Billy Kidman sitting in the front row with two laddies, Josh Mathews asks Billy Kidman how it feels to be back in the WWE and Kidman says it's not good, because he's stuck sitting in the crowd instead of doing what he loves wrestling. Kidman says that it should be him filling his dream, as opposed to Rey Mysterio but he’ll be back soon.

WWE Tag Team Championships: Eddie Guerrero & Tajiri vs. Roddy Piper & Sean O'Haire
Wanna know from the start why I knew I would hate this? One Roddy Piper & Sean O'Haire are wrestling, two Eddie and Tajiri are not driving to the ring This accomplished nothing Piper is old and nothing he does looks good and two O'Haire should not be controlling nothing with his terrible kicks and knee. This just should have been Tajiri and Eddie embarrassing these guys then ending it with some lying and cheating. The match ends when Tajiri spits the green mist into Roddy Piper's eyes and Eddie follows up with a frog-splash for the win.

Vince McMahon invites Zach Gowan & Stephanie McMahon to the ring. He says that Steph’s comments last week are still ringing in his ears and that Stephanie has always been the apple of his eye, his little girl. Vince says that Stephanie was absolutely precious when she was a little girl, then she grew up. Ans when Stephanie was 17, he asked her to help him close "certain business deals" C’MON MAN! Vince admits that he stole Stephanie's innocence from her, but it is like he personally deflowered Stephanie EWWWWWW! Vince says that he'll never forgive himself for that. He then turns his attention to Zach Gowan and says that he's realized that he wants to be Zach, he's done everything there is to do, but hasn't done what Zach has done. Zach looked death in the eye and spit on it and he admires that. Vince asks Zach to accept his apology and start over with a clean slate. Zach says NOO! So Vince demands that Zach accept his apology. Stephanie gives Zach his own microphone, and he repeats himself by saying NO! Vince says he realizes Zach is a little intimidates right now. Suddenly, Zach cuts him off and fires back at Vince, calling him a SON OF A BITCH! He tells Vince to look him in the eye and ask if he's intimidated. He says that he's seen intimidation and VINCE AIN'T IT! He’s been through things in his life that would make Vince McMahon cry. Matter of fact he's busted his ass to become a professional wrestler and Vince wants to make a joke out of him? Zach says that enough is enough and it's not going to happen anymore. Zach says that he spits on Vince's apology and Vince can offer him one thing, a WWE Smackdown! Wrestling contract. Vince McMahon agrees, but only on one condition, he has to earn it, by joining the Vince McMahon Kiss My Ass club. Vince McMahon drops his pants and demands Zach to kiss it. Stephanie whispers in Zach's ear, as he gets down on his knees and gives Vince McMahon a low blow and he and Steph leave the ring.

Ultimo Dragon vs. Shannon Moore
Rey is on commentary for this, so this Ultimo Dragon’s debut and they give him Shannon Moore, lol this was pretty much a 5 minute Dragon exhibition but the sad thing is he looked rusty and unimpressive. Dragon wins with the backflip inverted DDT. Post-Match: Rey Mysterio shakes Ultimo Dragon's hand, while Billy Kidman looks like a cryenberg little bitch in the front row still.

Brock Lesnar, Kurt Angle & Mr. America vs. The Big Show, Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas
During Mr. America's entrance Cole says so many good memories he's had in this arena and Tazz stops him by saying, what are you talking about this is Mr. America's MSG debut lol. Tazz is just on here he without a doubt is the winning the commentator of the year so far. The crowd begins to chant Hogan and he jumps on them, saying Hogan isn't here. Then like 30 seconds later they chant USA and he straight away points out he doesn't get it cause everyone in the ring is American Haas and Kurt start it off and they lock up and begin mat wrestling like they did last week and again Kurt gets the better of it, Kurt hits a 2 sweet looking armdrags on Haas and Shelton gets one two but Haas attacks him from behind but Kurt is able to fight out but he bull rushes Haas into the wrong corner allowing Shelton to tag in and both men connect with dropkicks and begin to work over him. Shelton's offense doesn't last long and Kurt makes brief comeback but gets cutoff with a rake to the eyes but out of desperation he hits the flying crossbody shades of 2001/2002. Mr America tags in and does his stuff, thankfully he tags Brock in and we gets some Shelton/Brock interactions which ruled as both men uses some ridiculous quickness and Tazz calls him a "Manster, Half man-half monster" Hass tags in but Brock just picks him up above his head like it's nothing and press slams him down. Brock tags Mr. America in and i must say he looks good here, very energetic with his movement must be the MSG effect. Brock tags back in and mocks show along with continuing the assault on Haas as we go to a commercial. We're 6 or 7 minutes in and Show has yet to tag in or do anything, we're back and Brock connects with a beautiful spinebuster to Haas and Shelton tries to come in but he gets thrown out immediately, Brock picks up Haas for the F5 but a Big Show distraction allows Shelton to knee him in the hip and tags Shelton in as Show was begging for the tag. They hit the double team leap-frog back breaker and after 10 minutes Show gets tagged in. Show is all over Brock not giving him any room to catch his breath with the methodical picking apart but Brock connects with shoulderblock and even tries a fuckin' scoop slam but Brock is too weak and Show counters, but Brock counters him again into a back suplex and Brock makes the hot tag to Kurt and Haas tags back in. Kurt's hot tag ruled as it's all Germans and Belly-to-bellies, he applies the ankle lock to Haas but Show straight up kicks him in the neck Brock comes him and clotheslines him over the top sending he and Show to the floor, Haas and Benjamin put the boots to Kurt and they go for the superkick/German double team but Kurt ducks and Shelton nails Haas and comebacks with a Russian legsweep and all three men are down. Mr America is on the apron and Show is too after taking out Brock, Mr. America tag and Show is in too America connects with punches he goes for the big boot but Show holds onto the ropes as Haas and Benjamin jump him from Show is still on the ropes so from the outside Kurt and Brock pull him out and get back in. Kurt hits the Angle slam on Haas, while Brock hits Shelton with the F5. Show gets back into the ring and CHOKESLAMS BOTH BROCK AND KURT AT THE SAME DAMN TIME. Mr. America hits him with the big boot and Vince drags Zach and begins to kick him in the midsection. Show attacks him from behind and nails Mr. America with the chokeslam for the win. Post-Match: Vince keeps kicking and punching at Zach, and Stephanie runs out to stop it. Vince says if Zach wants a contract, he'll have a match for it next week: ZACH GOWEN/STEPHANIE VS. THE BIG SHOW! ***

 

[Crippler]

WWE Raw 06/30/2003
Buffalo, New York

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian
WWE World Tag Team Champions: La Resistance
WWE Women's Champion: Jazz

Raw starts off backstage, with Eric Bischoff talking to Kane who has a towel on the top of his head.

Chris Jericho comes out for the Highlight Reel, he makes fun of Kane calling him "Krusty the clown on crack cocain" when he took off his mask last week. He introduces Stacy Keibler as his guest tonight and she comes down followed by Scott Steiner. Jericho plugs Stacy’s appearance in Stuff Magazine and asks her what's she's doing with a guy like Scott Steiner? Jericho suggests she could be with him, the KING of Bling Bling! Steiner takes acceptation to that and begins to trash talk Jericho before putting over Stacy. Stacy says she likes what the Big Bad Booty Daddy does with her hips and her lips and the only legend she's heard about Jericho is about his small PENIS! Jericho introduces his next guest, Stacy's ex-boyfriend, Test! Jericho attacks Steiner, who fights back and throws both of them out of the ring. Eric Bischoff comes out and announces that Austin will not be there tonight, he says he'll run the show tonight and sets up a match between Jericho/Test vs. Steiner/Keibler.

Lance Storm reads a "prepared statement" about the definition of the word boring. Suddenly, Goldberg's music hits and he comes out to the ring for a match but as he makes his way down the ramp Rodney Mack runs down and attacked him from behind. Storm hightailed it out of the ring and up the ramp as Goldberg spears and jackhammers Rodney Mack. He begins to celebrate but stops and gives Mack a 2nd jackhammer.

Backstage: Eric Bischoff apologizes for making Kane unmask last week, but says it was Rob Van Dam's idea but he tells Kane to look on the Brightside he says that Kane helped him get HUGE ratings last week. Eric says that Kane has go to out and address the people tonight, Kane shakes his head "no" at Eric Bischoff so Bischoff offers Kane a rematch for the World Heavyweight championship tonight. Kane again shakes his head "no" Bischoff says he thinks Kane is afraid that the people will treat him like a monster. So Eric gives the title shot to Rob Van Dam and says Kane will show his face to the people tonight, or he'll be fired.

Battle Royal for the WWE Woman’s Championship: Jazz vs. Molly Holly vs. Ivory vs. Trish Stratus vs. Jacqueline vs. Gail Kim
This is Gail Kim’s debut, I’m not gonna do a full write up about this because it was a DUD royal. But here are the elimination order. Molly Holly throws out Ivory, Jazz apparently gets injured after an encounter with Victoria and she’s gone. NEW CHAMP Victoria then eliminates Molly Holly then Jackie in the space of 3 seconds Trish Stratus was eliminated after Victoria catapulted Gail into her as Trish was on the apron, Gail eliminates Victoria by blocking a powerbomb attempt and holding onto the ring ropes while hitting a hurricanrana and sending her to the floor.

WWE Intercontinental Championship: Christian vs. Booker T
Christian attacks without even doing his entrance and brawls with Booker on the floor, sending him into the stairs, but Booker comes back and they brawl into the crowd while referees fruitlessly try to break it up. So anyway, we return with the ball having sounded, and Christian choking away in the corner. Booker backdrops him for two. Christian necksnaps him to come back and brings a shout-out to his peeps, Christian gets a dropkick for two and hits the chinlock and steps on his head, and a neckbreaker gets two. Back to the chinlock. Booker makes the comeback and slugs away after a spinkick, but misses a sidekick and crotches himself. Backbreaker gets two for Christian. Back to the chinlock. Booker escapes, but hits elbow, and Christian goes up and gets greeted with a sidekick coming down. Forearm puts him down and a suplex gets two for Booker. Back kick gets two. Christian goes to the eyes, but Booker rolls him up for two. BookEnd is blocked, and Christian tries the Unprettier, but Booker escapes and his axe kick misses. Christian rolls him up for two. Booker flapjacks him and stops for a Spinarooni (always a bad sign), but Christian dumps him. Booker axe kicks him on the ropes and goes up, but Christian crotches him and follows him up. Superplex connects and both men shoulders are down as the ref counts to three. Post-Match: The ref awards Booker the match, but Eric comes out and says both men shoulders are down so the match is a draw and with a draw the title stays with the champion. ***

Backstage: Rob Van Dam tries to talk to Kane's, he says he's sure Kane has his reasons, just like he had reasons for chokeslamming him last week. RVD admits that it was his idea to take Kane's mask off, because Kane doesn't need it and says that the fans will accept Kane either way. Kane says he HATES the fans RVD says he was just trying to motive Kane, and hopes he doesn't hate him. RVD then says he hopes Kane doesn't hate him when he wins the World title tonight. RVD walks away and Kane mutters "I DO HATE YOU, ROB!"

Chris Jericho & Test vs. Scott Steiner & Stacy Keibler
Steiner pretty much wrestles the entire match, taking a beating. At one point Test & Jericho double-team on Steiner and Jericho throws the referee across the ring. The referee calls for the DQ, but Eric Bischoff comes out and makes it a No-DQ match, Jericho brings a steel chair in the ring and nails Steiner in the face with it. Test forces Stacy Keibler to tag the lifeless hand of Steiner, Test hits Stacy Keibler with the pump handle slam and pins her for the win.

Maven vs. Rico (w/Jackie Gayda)
FUCK OFF!

Tommy Dreamer vs. Randy Orton (w/Ric Flair)
This was good fun Orton is still getting better, but I felt seeing how Orton killed Foley last week he should have just came out here and just killed Dreamer just straight up showcased his skills for 5 minutes instead of having to rely on Flair interference's and Dreamer almost beating him several times if that makes sense. The match ends when Orton gets cocky and begins slaps him around in the corner and whips him to the other corner. That gets two count, he charges in but is meet with a boot and Dreamer comes back with a backdrop. Followed by a Spinebuster that gets two. Legdrop misses, but Dreamer connects with the DDT for two. Dreamer goes after Flair, but walks into an Orton RKO for the win. Post-Match: Ric Flair puts Tommy Dreamer in the figure-four while Randy Orton whacks him with the kendo stick. **1/2

Backstage: RVD says Eric Bischoff is exploiting Kane for TV ratings, and that ain't cool. Eric says he doesn't care, and if Kane loses his job, it's on RVD's head he tells RVD to take his aggression out on Triple H and win the World title.

Backstage: Eric Bischoff remembers that Terri once gave Kane advice, so he sends her to talk sense into him.

La Resistance vs. The Hurricane & Spike Dudley
FUCK OFF!

WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Rob Van Dam vs. Triple H (w/Ric Flair)
At this point the audio sync is all fucked up it's off by 5 seconds so i pretty much just turned it off, i doubt it was any good or worth watching.

 

[Crippler]

WWE Smackdown 07/03/2003
Rochester, New York

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar
WWE Tag Team Champions: Eddie Guerrero & Tajiri
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio

Before Smackdown airs we get a pre-taped Vince promo, he says he promises to seal the fate of Mr. America's tonight and he'll present the very first ever “HANDICAP” match as Big Show takes on Sheph & Zach Gowan for Zach Gowen's contract.

WWE Cruiserweight Championship: Rey Mysterio vs. Nunzio
That piece of shit Kidman is back at ringside, trying to steal the spotlight again. Before the match the ref sends the other two members of the FBI to the back to ensure this is one-on-one. This was fun littler opener, but I it felt like they didn’t have enough or something went wrong in the middle as it just looked weird, slow. Still, a lot of fun here. **1/2

Backstage: Kurt Angle & Brock Lesnar are sitting at a table and Kurt is drinking a jug of milk and tries to steal one of Brock's fries but he slaps his fingers. Suddenly a female walks by and says "Hey Champ!" and both of them answer "Hey!" The two of them playfully battle over who she was talking to and about who's winning at Vengeance. Brock chugs Kurt's milk and leaves, the girl comes back and Kurt Angle informs her that HE is the REAL champion around here. Brock Lesnar slaps Kurt Angle on the back, causing him to slit milk all over her and walks off laughing.

Chris Benoit & Rhyno vs. The Basham Brothers (w/Shaniqua)
I hate the bashams so fuckin’ much and not that they’re doing the S&M shit it just makes it worse. This was 5 minutes of Benoit’s time that he’ll never get back, thankfully he make one of the pieces of shit tap.

Backstage: Stephanie asks if Vince McMahon really wants her to be in the handicap match tonight, and he says she put him in harm’s way last week so what's the difference. She says Zach Gowen low blowing him isn't the same as an untrained woman and a rookie fighting an unstoppable giant, and Vince says "spare the rod, spoil the child." Steph says Brock can’t even beat the Big Show plz don’t put her in the match she says but Vince just tells her to be careful and walks off.

Earlier tonight, Noble & Nidia arrived in a limo, and Noble has on sunglasses. Nidia has a fur coat, and says she'll wear it all year round.

Backstage: Sable says she can't believe Vince is going to go through with the match, but she wanted to let Steph know she'll be watching and wishes her luck. Sable tells her not to worry about Smackdown, ‘cause she can handle being the General Manager.

Backstage: Orlando Jordan introduces himself to the Undertaker, Taker then gives Orlando Jordan a talk on why he can't let himself be bullied by guys like Cena and tells Orlando Jordan that he has to pay his dues in the WWF to get anywhere. He says when Orlando Jordan does that then everybody will respect him. John Cena walks up and said he and Taker used to have something like this, and tells OJ not to get talked into another beating. Cena says that between he and Taker, veteran to veteran, to stay out of his business. Cena walks off, and Taker says that everyone's got to learn the hard way.

US Title Tournament - 1st Round: John Cena vs. Billy Gunn (w/Torrie Wilson)
Before the match Cena cuts a GOAT rap saying Billy likes to suck it, and takes it up the butt while his favorite food is sausage and nuts AWESOME! What a mess this was, Torrie is on another level. ACTUALLY, fuck this match I’m just gonna talk about Torrie for the moment her face is hawt I bet her hair is soft and smells of strawberry’s. DAT Rack is godly and she’s got quite the ass on here. I gotta look at dem playboy pixs again. The match ends when Taker’s music hits and he rides his bike out allowing Billy to small package him for the upset.

Backstage: Brock Lesnar is still laughing about Kurt Angle spitting milk on that girl earlier. Kurt says that Brock has to turn everything into a competition. Kurt issues a challenge to see who can do the most push-ups, and Brock start and gets to 8 before we go to a commercial. Brock Lesnar is up to 301 now how long are these commercials? Before he craps out and says it's Kurt's turn now.

Kurt says that it's okay and says Brock Lesnar is the winner.

WWE Tag Team Championships: Eddie Guerrero & Tajiri vs. The Best Damn Tag Team Period
That fuckin’ tag name Eddie drives this huge all black 4x4 truck that has hydraulics but Eddie somewhat drives it super close to the ring like the hood is on the mats. Haas and Tajiri start and it’s all good as they trade holds but Eddie tags in as the pace begins to quicken and we get some Shelton/Eddie goodness. Great back and forth reversals, and Eddie is on here just showing that he is without a doubt top 10 in ring. But as he takes out both men he panders to the crowd too long allowing Shelton to hit a sweet t-bone powerslammed allows the “Best Damn Tag Team Period” to go to work on him. Tajiri blind tags and takes out both men but on ‘Rana attempt from the outside Shelton holds on to Haas so Tajiri can’t roll though. That allows Benjamin to springboard in with a clothesline that gets two, they now begin to work the mid-section and neck with good heel tactics for a good portion of the match using an abdominal stretch but they try to do the switch behind the ref back but as the ref looks he can clearly see that one is black and the other is white so he makes them break the hold. More vicious mid-section work by the “Best Damn Tag Team Period” hitting the leap frog backdreaker but Eddie breaks it up then he runs out and grabs the tag rope to a huge pop, that allows Tajiri to hit a kick and tags in Eddie who has the GOAT hot tag and he debuts the triple verticals but only hits two, he tries the frog splash but Benjamin brings him down with a superplex. Tajiri hits the handspring elbow on Benjamin, but they end up on the floor. Haas covers Eddie for two. Both men get back to their feet and Eddie hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Benjamin puts him out with a suplex to the floor, and the heels double-team Tajiri as a result. Haas misses a charge and Tajiri kicks Benjamin down and puts Haas in the Tarantula. This allows Eddie to go up, but Benjamin rolls out of the way as Eddie comes crashing down to the mat. Shelton superkicks Tajiri onto the truck. As the ref goes to check on him Eddie drop toeholds Benjamin into the turnbuckle and stops to worry about Tajiri, allowing Haas & Benjamin to hit the superkick/rollup combo to give allowing Haas & Benjamin to win. Not on the level as their previous 2 SD matches but real good stuff from two real good teams. Post-Match: Tajiri is selling like a BOSS on the car, Eddie slowly walks towards him and has a real concern look on his face. Eddie has his hands open like he’s gonna hug him but instead shoves him off the hood and looks at his car in horror, screaming "MY CAR!" AWESOME! ***1/4

A video is shown on Mr. America, hyping up Vince's announcement.

Back at ringside: Eddie is still horrified at his car. He turns and stomps and punches at Tajiri. He brings him up on the hood, and drops him down through the windshield! Eddie yells him as the crowd chants holy shit

Backstage: Zach Gowan is warming up for his match and Big Show approaches him and steps on his good leg and says he has one good leg left, but not for long.

A-Train vs. Orlando Jordan
FUCKIN’ OJ Thankfully this was mostly A-Train beating the shit out of him.

Vince McMahon along with Sable come down to the ring and Vince says that it was only a matter of time before he sealed the fate of Mr. America, he reminds everyone that he sent Hulk Hogan home to rot after Wrestlemania 19. But Hulk Hogan went and reinvented himself as Mr. America. Well he proves that Mr. America is Hulk Hogan, then both contracts would be null & void. Vince says that he tricked Mr. America last week in Madison Square Garden in exposing himself. Vince shows footage of after Smackdown! Went off the air showing Mr. America taking his mask off. He says that neither Hulk Hogan OR Mr. America are here, and are FIIIIRREEEEEDD!!! Vince then talks about Zach Gowan wanting a WWE contract and getting it the hard way, he then makes the match tonight a NoDQ No Holds Barred handicap match. Vince then announces Brock Lesnar vs Kurt Angle vs Big Show for the WWE title at Vengeance. Both Vince McMahon & Sable sit at ringside to watch the main event.

No Disqualification Match for Zach Gowen's Contract: The Big Show vs. Zach Gowen & Stephanie McMahon
4 minutes of Show toying with these two until, Show goes to Chokeslam for Steph, but Vince holds him off long enough for Zach to save. Vince gets involved now and calls for a Chokeslam on Gowen. But Steph slaps Vince, and Angle runs in with the anklelock on Show to save her from a chokeslam. Vince takes care of him with a chair, but now Brock runs out and gets booted by Show. Angle gets up and Angle Slam him, Brock follows up with a F5and Zach finishes him off with a moonsault.

 

[Crippler]

WWE Raw 07/07/2003
Montreal, Canada

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian
WWE World Tag Team Champions: La Resistance
WWE Women's Champion: Gail Kim

CO-GM Stone Cold Steve Austin comes down to the while we get a recap of last weeks ending to Raw when Kane Chokeslamed Eric off the stage, good shit. Austin blames his food poisoning last week on six lousy Mexican T.V. dinners, and says while he was at home, it made him feel real good to see Eric Bischoff Chokeslammed straight to hell. He says that Bischoff isn’t here tonight, and that he has total control of the show. Austin announces that an Intercontinental Title Match will be taking place right now, so bring out a ref and the challenger Booker T.

On his way to the ring, Christian takes out a microphone and says he has nothing to prove because he’s beaten Booker T too many times to count in the past few weeks. He says that if Booker wants to beat him so bad, tell the referee to start counting because he’s leaving. Austin then says that there’s a special stipulation that the title can change hands on a count-out. Christian says the match can’t start until he’s in the ring, so Austin heads up the ramp, grabs him, and then throws him into the ring.

WWE Intercontinental Championship: Christian vs. Booker T
This was good but not great, it was just missing that something to put this over as great. It’s weird cause they’ve been working together for like the past 2 months and it’s always been solid but not spectacular and if they were gonna pull out all the spots tonight would have been that night with a hot crowd, but to me it felt like and extent and call back fest of all their previous matches rolled into this. The early portion was all Booker, but Christian gets the advantage by hot shotting Booker face first onto the top buckle before going back and forth from working the neck or back that gets no sold by Booker straight away. Like 5 minutes into the match Booker hit the scissors Kick, but Christian's foot was on the ropes during the count so the ref orders the match to be restarted as we go to a commercial lol. We return and the match now is just back and forth moves for a while, everything looked clean with a ton of great falls that even had me guessing if that was the end but the lack of selling really left me upset and took away from the action. The match ends when Booker sets up the spinerooni and hits but as he goes for the scissors kick, Christian pulls the referee in the way long enough for Christian to low blow him followed by a roll-up for a two. Christian picks up the Intercontinental Title belt and tries to hit Booker with it, but Booker ducks and kicks Christian in the midsection followed by a scissors kick for the win. This was good like I said but not great. **1/2

Backstage: Austin is talking to some jobber, a referee comes up to Austin and tells him that there is an emergency and he needs to come quick, and RAW goes to commercial with Austin heading off to see what is wrong. Tommy Dreamer is laid out with his head busted open, and Austin heads into the room and tells Bubba Ray and Spike Dudley to leave so the paramedics can work on him. The paramedic says that Dreamer is not breathing, and Austin tells them that they have to get to work right away.

1997 Survivor Series Screw job is shown, and Jim Ross announces that Shawn Michaels will be Chris Jericho’s guest on tonight’s Highlight Reel. Let it go WWE plz

Theodore Long makes his way out with Rodney Mack and Rosie. He complains about how he and his stable have been held down by the man,but they refuse to be held down. Long tells Rosie that if he wants to be successful like Rodney Mack, he has to learn how to thug like Rodney Mack. The camera then cuts backstage as paramedics, Bubba Ray Dudley, Spike Dudley, and Austin are helping load Tommy Dreamer up into an ambulance. Jonathan Coachmen asks Bubba if he has any idea who may have done this, and Bubba says that he has a pretty damn good idea as to who’s responsible for the attack.

The Hurricane vs. Rosey (w/Theodore Long & Rodney Mack)
Basic and boring, just hurry up and make these two a tag team already. I did like Rosey’s Samoan Drop though, that shit looked AWESOME! Post-Match: Theodore yells at Rosey to keep beating on the white boy, and he refuses. He shoves Long into the corner, he then takes out Rodney Mack and then splashes Long in the corner. Mack attacks from behind and beats Rosey out to the floor and whips him into the steps. With Rosey laid out, Mack assists a wounded Long up the ramp and continues to taunt Rosey as they leave. Lolface turn.

Backstage: Bubba Ray Dudley is yelling at Ric Flair and Randy Orton ‘cause he believes they attacked Tommy Dreamer. Austin interrupts and asks Bubba what he’s doing, and Bubba tells Austin that his best friend’s blood is on his hands and he wants Flair and Orton to pay for what they did. Orton saying he was drinking a protein shake when the attack went down, and Flair says he was on the phone Suddenly, Jackie Gayda comes running up in and says that something has happened to Rico and that he needs to come quickly.

Backstage: Rico is all beaten up and Austin tells him to snap out of it. Austin then asks who attacked him, Rico faintly tells him that it was KANE!

Gail Kim & Val Venis vs. Victoria & Steven Richards
Gail and Victoria has some real fun reversals and counters spots and the men impressed me a little. I didn’t hate it like I thought I would, I just hope it doesn’t become a weekly thing.

Backstage: As Trish stretches, Test walks up behind Trish and says that since he’s single, Trish has a good shot of hooking up with him as she’s first on his list. Test tries to force himself onto Trish and says he doesn’t take no for an answer. Kevin Nash gets involved and asks if there is a problem. Test says there isn’t a problem, Nash says he was asking Trish and not him. He then asks if Test thinks he’s a big man because he can beat up on women, he then tells Test that he should try picking on somebody bigger then him. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! DAMN YOU WWE

Chris Jericho comes out to a huge pop as it’s time for the “HIGHLIGHT REEL” He says that it looks as though the fans are ready to see Canada’s most exciting athlete. When Jericho says that Shawn Michaels will face the music right here tonight, he says that six years ago in the very same arena that they are gathered in tonight, Shawn Michaels committed a travesty by involving himself in the plot to screw Bret Hart out of the WWE Title. He shows the classic footage of the incident on the Jeritron 5000, Jericho says that footage makes his blood boil. He promises that Shawn Michaels will give a long and necessary overdue apology. Michaels makes his way down like nothing has happen lol he begins to flexes his muscles in the ring, as Jericho gives him a sarcastic claps Fans chant “You screwed Bret!” and Jericho points that out to Michaels. Shawn says he is grateful for the chance to explain himself, but the chants of “asshole” Shawn says he’s publicly apologized to Bret Hart, but says he’s never publicly apologized to the fans in Montreal. He says that he is sorry and will forever be sorry that the incident took place. But, he says that he is most sorry about the fact that the people of Montreal all have not been able to get on with their lives while everybody in the United States and all over the world don’t really care about what happened in 1997. He says the fans of Montreal are the only fans who care about what took place in November of 1997, and is greeted with a chant of “You Screwed Bret!” once again.

Michaels says and your point would be what? HOLY SHOT! As Michaels gives his reasons for taking part in the plot, Jericho steps in and calls Michaels a son of a bitch and asks him if he really expects the people to believe him. He asks Michaels how he can expect the people to forget about the travesty. Michaels says that the fans can find something else to hate him for, like beating their fellow Canadian, Chris Jericho at WrestleMania. Jericho calls Michaels an asshole and tells him to hold on, and says that they are never going to forget what Shawn did and the black eye he gave to this company for the incident. Michaels asks Jericho what is up with this we stuff, and asks if Jericho is MR. CANADA! The fans pop huge, and Jericho soaks up the cheers. Michaels asks if that’s the case, then why does Jericho reside in Florida, which is in the United States. Michaels says that if Jericho really wants to extract revenge for his fellow Canadians, then they should settle it right now. Jericho throws down his coat and appears ready to battle, but then says he will not wrestle Shawn in Montreal because the economy in Canada is poor and him wrestling Shawn here tonight in Montreal would be the same as wrestling him for free WIN! He says that he’ll face Michaels in two weeks in sunny Hollywood, California. Michaels gives him one final chance to face him here tonight, but Jericho says he’ll face him in Hollywood in two weeks and only then. Jericho tries to start a HOLLYWOOD chant, but nobody responds, so Jericho walks off. The fans are not very happy and Jericho replies by saying that Shawn screwed Bret in 1997, and in 2003, Chris Jericho is saying Screw Montreal!!!!

Backstage: Jonathan Coachmen asks Austin how he is going to stop Kane’s rampage, and Austin says that he’s not going to call 911 because he plans on solving the problem on his own. When Austin goes into his office, he sees Kane sitting in his chair. The chair spins around and Kane has a towel over his head and tells Austin that they need to talk.

Austin has trouble looking at Kane's face, he says he can’t believe that Kane wants to quit, and then he tries to make Kane feel guilty for wanting to quit. He calls Kane a coward for attacking Tommy Dreamer and Rico just for thinking that they were laughing at him. Austin says all he wanted was for Kane to be a monster again, and says instead of killing his superstars in the back, he wants him killing them in the ring. Austin says he bets if Kane went to the ring tonight, after what he did to Bischoff last week, the fans would love him. Austin tells Kane he can do that or he can quit or whatever, and Kane gets up and walks off.

Kevin Nash vs. Test
FUCK MY LIFE!

Backstage: Terri interviews Booker T, he says that he is smiling bigger than ever because he’s the new Champion. He says that he feels fine, looks even finer and is inviting the whole city of Montreal to join him in a victory party to celebrate his winning. He and Terri walk off, lol at Booker stealing his best friend’s wife.

Chris Jericho vs. Mark Jindrak
Not even Jericho can make this piece of shit watchable, thank the good lord HHH decided this guy is not Evolution worthy. JR attempting to put him over every second too was AWFUL! Post-Match: Jericho says that in two weeks, that will be Shawn Michaels when he gets his WrestleMania rematch in Hollywood. *

Number #1 Contenders Match: Trish Stratus vs. Molly Holly
Trish is selling the Test beatdown still like a champ. So Molly attacks her and it vicious she rag dolls her for a good couple of minutes with Trish selling the best on this show so far SWERVE! The neck work > best ring work of the night so far. She even sold it during the comeback which was enjoyable too but she gets caught in a Straight jacket submission and she taps. Best match so far, SWERVE! **3/4

Backstage: Austin is in his office and sees Kane behind him, Austin asks Kane what the hell he’s doing and Kane says that he’ll take Austin up on his offer to face the fans here tonight.

Ric Flair & Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam & Bubba Ray Dudley
This Evolution theme is so money and it’s still in the develop mode with no lyrics This was only good when RVD and Orton interacted others not so much. Orton also debuted the inverted backbreaker to begin the heat segment on RVD Flair getting super aggressive on RVD was fun too but his chops looked worse than usual, nice to see Orton is showing real development since joining Flair and HHH and he will just get better as the months go by. Bubba’s hot tag sucked real sloppy and felt rushed, the match ends when RVD leaps off the top rope and takes out Flair with a flying kick, but the cover is broken up by Orton. RVD goes for the Five Star Frog Splash, but Orton grabs his leg. Spike Dudley runs out and attacks Orton from behind allowing RVD to connect with the Frog Splash on Flair for the win. Faces cheating to win lol what is this? Alright match but nothing special, lacked HHH matter of fact HHH has not even been seen on this show so far. DA FUCK! **1/2

Backstage: Kane is shown in a locker room with a towel on his head walking, he pie faces the camera man with a right hand when he tries to get a close-up of his face.

Stone Cold Steve Austin comes down to the ring and gets on the mic, he says he’s talked with Kane long enough. He says that the fans can boo him or cheer him, but he just wants Kane to show some guts and come out to the ring. Kane makes his way to the ring, he still has the towel on his head as the crowd are cheering for him like crazy. Austin smiles at Kane once he steps into the ring and tells Kane that he told him the fans would respect him, and that wrestling isn't a beauty contest. He says all they want from Kane is for him to demolish his competition in the ring, he tells Kane that he is one of the toughest men he’s ever faced in the ring and it’s time for him to surpass what he once was. Austin said that all he and RVD were trying to do was motivate him, and that he didn't need the mask to be appreciated. Austin shows footage of Kane chokeslamming Eric Bischoff off the stage, and Austin says that the video showed him the Kane that he remembers from the days of old. Austin says the attack was not hysterical, because it was straight up funny. Kane asks Austin if he thinks he looks funny, and Austin says that he thought Kane’s actions were funny. Kane screams at Austin for lying to him about not making fun of him. Kane snaps and connects with an uppercut before taking him to the corner and connecting with more right hands, but Austin fights back and knocks Kane to the floor and smashes him into the ring post. Austin then grabs a steel chair and smashes Kane over the head. And he busted open now Austin rolls Kane into the ring and scores a Stunner. Austin calls for some beer, but Kane sits right back up and chokeslams Austin when he turns around.

 

[Crippler]

WWE Smackdown 07/10/2003
Toronto, Canada

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar
WWE Tag Team Champions: Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio

Kurt Angle comes down to the ring and gets on the mic, he receives a great ovation and says. He came out here not to wrestle but to make a point, 3 months ago he lost the WWE title. And in less then 3 weeks he’ll have the chance to win it again. At Vengeance he has the chance to face 2 of the most dominate men to ever step in the ring, the Big Show & Brock Lesnar. He’s got 3 words for them BRING IT ON! He’s worked too hard for too long, and he’ll be damned by the next time he comes to Toronto he won’t have gold. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Suddenly, John Cena music hits and he comes down to the ring while cutting a rap. Fuck it I can’t write this here’s the vid.

​

#1 Contender's Match for the Tag Team Championship: Rey Mysterio & Billy Kidman vs. The Acolytes vs. Chuck Palumbo & Johnny Stamboli vs. The Basham Brothers (w/ Shaniqua)
The APA & The FBI take each other out of the match as they brawl up the ramp to the backstage area, thank god. Basham still suck, Kidman is average at best so that just leaves Rey to make this somewhat enjoyable. The action spills to the outside and we go to commercial. Once back we get a split screen of the action in the ring and the APA destroying everyone in the back along with the FBI. Nunzio comes running in at the end to stop the APA with chair-shots to both men. Back in the ring Rey picks hits the 619 and West Coast Pop for the win.

Backstage: Kurt Angle is getting his neck iced when Brock walks in the room. Brock Lesnar says he would have been there for Kurt, but he just got to the building. Brock says they'll get him. Kurt says that's never happened to him, since he actually beat Show, whereas Brock's lost to him twice. Brock says he helped Kurt win, and says they'll get him at Vengeance. Kurt says there is no "we", it's a three way, so Brock tells the trainer to get another ice pack for Kurt's swollen head, and he walks off.

They replay the whole Steph/Gowen vs Big Show match from last week. Shit took up fuckin’ 5/6 minutes.

Stephanie McMahon makes her way to the ring and she introduces Zach Gowen. Gowen thanks everyone and their mother for the opportunity that has been presented before him. He then signs the contract and that brings out Vince with Sable, Vince sarcastically says that everybody's proud of Zach Gowan & Stephanie McMahon. But they won their match with help from Kurt Angle & Brock Lesnar. He then sets up a "handicap" match with Brock Lesnar vs Charlie Haas, Shelton Benjamin & The Big Show. Vince says that Zach Gowan now works for him, and has to do everything he says, or he'll be fired. He then makes a match, Zach Gowan will have his first match at Vengeance against VINCE MCMAHON!!! lol Vince jokes that he might tie one arm behind his back, or wear a blindfold during the match. He ends this by saying Zach Gowan may have survived Cancer, but he WON'T survive Vince McMahon. Sable makes her way around the ring to knock Steph out with a clipboard.

Backstage: Vince & Sable attempt to have sex when Steph barges into the room and spears Sable onto the couch. After security separates the two, Vince informs Stephanie that she will be facing Sable in a match at Vengeance.

Chris Benoit & Rhyno vs. Matt Hardy & Shannon Moore
Mattitude.com says Matt lost his virginity at age seventeen, Matt has never had earrings. They show the US title tourney brackets. Matt will face Benoit next week and Billy Gunn will take on the winner of the Ultimo Dragon and Eddie match that will happen later tonight. This match was fun while it lasted and I didn’t even hate Moore that much even though he botched a spinning DDT to begin the heat segment after Matt chopped Rhyno’s knee. But the heat was good as they work over Rhyno’s once broken neck, and proceed to cut him off at every turn but Moore got caught with a hot shot off the top turnbuckle leading to Benoit’s AWESOME HOT TAG! As he kills everyone in sight, he nails Moore with the diving headbutt but Rhyno has the ref distracted allowing Matt to come in and hit Benoit with the Twist of Fate. But Rhyno shoves the ref out of the way nailing Matt with a GOAR! Rhyno follows Matt to the outside as Moore slowly crawls to cover Benoit for two but when he does Benoit grabs his arm and reverses to the Crossface for the win. **1/2

Backstage: Kurt and Brock talk. Kurt keeps talking about how tough this is gonna be, and tells Brock not to get hurt so Brock won't have any excuses when Kurt wins the title.

Eddie Guerrero comes out and cuts a promo explaining last week. He wishes Tajiri a speedy recovery, and admits he has a temper problem. He asks if anyone could blame him, since not only did they lose the belts, but then the boy is touching his ride. He says Tajiri had to be taught a lesson, but it's time Eddie Guerrero started looking out for himself and nobody else.

US Title Tournament - 1st Round: Eddie Guerrero vs. Ultimo Dragon
This was real good for like 4-5 minutes that went just back and forth with neither man having an advantage longer than 30 seconds, but Jesus WWE why even being a guy in and hype him up have him debut 2 weeks ago and job him just like that in a US tournament. Eddie wins after rolling through Dragon’s standing moonsault and by using the tights. HEEL LATINO HEAT!

Backstage: Billy Gunn & Torrie Wilson are making out, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Billy Gunn & Torrie Wilson vs. Jamie Noble & Nidia
Oh Knoble has new shorts playing up to the gimmick that he’s now rich so he upgraded the ripped jean shorts and got a new pair of Khaki Shorts like the 2nd cheapest one what a guy. Rather dull match until Torrie hit Nidia with a DDT for the win. Post-Match: Noble offered Torrie $10,000 to spend the night with him, Gunn wasn't having any of that and proceed to beat Noble a little more and Torrie took down Nidia’s shorts. Nidia ran to the back with her fur coat covering up that ass.

Brock Lesnar & Kurt Angle are heading to the ring but a crew member runs up and tells Kurt Angle that Vince McMahon wants to see him, so he can’t go with Brock to the ring. GENIUS!

Falls Count Anywhere Match: Big Show & The World's Greatest Tag Team vs. Brock Lesnar
I remember looking for years to find this match with no joy it only took me 11 years to find it lol. I remember as a kid or teenager loving this so let’s see how this holds up. So yeah this was fun early portion is all Brock taking it to all 3 men but he would have show in the ring and the WGTT on the outside and would go back and forth on beating all men. But as predicted the numbers games got to him when Haas Whips him into the ropes Shelton pulls down the top rope sending him to the outside where Show hits him in the back with a chair for a two. They roll him back into the ring and its good fun as all 3 men now take turns beating on Brock, lots pf double teams by the champs but as soon as it looked like Brock would try to make a comeback they would tag Show in to slow him down. AWESOME! Gameplan, most of the heat is done on Brocks ribs that Cole still puts over that he’s still never fully gotten over the broken ribs from survivor series cause he never took time off to let them heal. Great call back and storytelling from everyone here really. But when Brock does get in full comeback mode it’s AWESOME! He F5’s Haas but is too slow to make a cover and that allows Shelton to pull him to the outside, but Brock fuckin’ belly-to-bellies him on the floor and he begins to rip the announce table apart. He then moves the steel steps next to the table but Shelton attacks him from behind but again Brock fights him off and sets him up for a F5 onto the table but Show catches him with a big boot. But as he goes to pick him up Brock fights him off again, he decides to bring Show on the steps with him but as he goes to F5 him off the steps onto the table his ribs give out and Show is able to Chokeslam him through the announce table for the win. It should be noted Show won by putting his foot on Lesnar’s chest But yeah this shit still holds up as probably the most fun handicap match in wrestling history, Brock bumped like a god and so did the tag champs plus show played his role as the “Brock killer” just real fun. ***1/4

 

[Crippler]

WWE Raw 07/14/2003
Indianapolis, Indiana

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Booker T
WWE World Tag Team Champions: La Resistance
WWE Women's Champion: Gail Kim

Raw starts off with Jericho coming down to the ring as it’s time for the “Highlight Reel” Jericho says that something has to be done about the non-stop backstage attacks being dished out by Kane. Kane has grown men are afraid for their safety in the back. Even he, the man who many consider to be the toughest man in the WWE, and even he has been afraid until he heard from the one man who can make a difference, and his guest tonight. Jericho introduces the one man who he says can put an end to the carnage, and that one man is Co-RAW General Manager Eric Bischoff. Jericho praises Bischoff for coming to RAW despite the fact that he is nursing severe injuries, and Bischoff says that he refused doctor’s orders to stay home and rest for eight weeks because he cannot sit back and let Steve Austin run RAW into the ground. Bischoff says that a one-on-one, sit-down interview between Jim Ross and Kane. Bischoff says that Kane is completely out of control, and if the people needed any proof of that, all they need to do is watch RAW from two weeks ago, because Kane almost killed him. Bischoff then shows some unseen footage from last week on the Jeritron 5000 between Kane and Rob Van Dam. RVD tries to give Kane a pep talk, but Kane ends up throwing him through a wall.

Jericho says that he is grateful that Bischoff is back running RAW because somebody has to put a stop to Kane’s madness and destruction. Austin’s music hits and out he comes, he tells Jericho to butt out and shut up because he is about to yell at Eric Bischoff. Each time Bischoff tries to answer one of Austin’s questions, he is ordered to shut up. He says that he planned on taking care of Kane right here tonight and also planned on kicking Kane’s ass, but Bischoff tells Austin that everybody’s injuries over the past few weeks are on Austin’s shoulders because he stuck his nose into Kane’s business and tried to get him to be a monster again. Austin says that since Bischoff made sure Kane wouldn’t be on RAW, somebody’s ass WILL get kicked tonight, and that Bischoff looks like the perfect victim. Austin says “LOOK AT ME! LOOK ATCHA! YOU’RE PATHETIC!", but then says he isn’t worth beating up. Austin is about to walk out of the ring, but Jericho taunts him and says for Austin to keep on walking to his truck and drive back to Texas, because nobody on RAW wants him and that he’s in way over his head trying to run RAW. Jericho calls Austin a failure, and he wants Austin to admit it. He says that since Austin has ruined Kane’s life, he should leave before he ruins everybody else’s. Jericho calls Austin a son of a bitch, well that seems to have pissed Austin off more so he gives Jericho a stunner.

Trish Stratus, Kevin Nash & Scott Steiner (w/Stacy Keibler) vs. Victoria, Steven Richards & Test
This was something, Victoria & Trish was good, Scotty was his normal awful self Steven was just a no factor jobber, Stacy looked insane but for the first time ever and possibly the last time Test was the fuckin’ man. MVP of the match without a doubt, from him trollin’ both Stacy and Trish at the start to him stalling and not wanting anypart of Scott or Nash then during the Victoria/Trish interaction he drops Test neck first onto the top rope and finally decides he wants to officially get into the match legally. He and Trish do some things and it’s alright but it doesn’t last long, cause he tags Victoria in. A couple of minutes later Kevin Nash and Test are tagged in, and Test grabs Victoria from the outside and shoves her into Nash. The match ends when Nash whips Richards into the ropes and levels him with a boot, then finishes him off with a Jackknife for the win.

Backstage: Chris Jericho is complaining to Bischoff about how Austin attacked him, and he says that a General Manager has no place putting his hands on an employee. Bischoff said he can't imagine that's covered in the company policy, and Jericho says he's got an idea.

We comeback from a commercial and Lance Storm is in the ring with a mic. He says if the crowd keeps chanting "Boring" at him before, during, or after his matches, he will take legal action

Lance Storm vs. Maven
The action was good but Lawler really ruined this for me by ever second having a joke of how boring Lance is and normally I can laugh at Lance boring jokes and I really loved heel Lawler but this was just annoying. Oh Lance botching a hip-toss was hilarious, the fact that Lawler tried to bury Strom when he was doing a hammerlocks saying fans today don’t want to see that was lol worthy. After that I pretty much just gave up on this match and began singing Mavens theme song.

La Resistance come down to the ring. They say that it is time to celebrate because Eric Bischoff is back on RAW, and they’re very upset over the fact that Steve Austin kept them off of RAW last week in Bischoff’s absence. They say another reason that they are here to celebrate France’s Independence Day, so they’re going to treat the fans by singing the French National Anthem mid-way through we cut to a commercial.

La Resistance is still singing in the ring, but suddenly, The Dudley Boyz music hits, Spike comes out waving an American Flag alongside Bubba Ray and D-Von. They run to the ring and attack La Resistance. Once the ring is cleared, Bubba grabs a mic and says that the French National Anthem sucks, and then encourages the fans to sing the National Anthem of the United States. The Dudley Boyz sing along with the crowd, and it’s worse than Austin’s this whole segment with both teams singing was 9 minutes of my life I’ll never get back. FUCK YOU WWE!

Elimination Match: Evolution vs. The Dudley Boyz
So this is the start of Evolution revolutionizing the 6 man matches, lol well not yet but as soon as they get some legit talent to work with 2004 AWESOME moment that happens like 3 minutes into the match. So Bubba gives Flair a backdrop but he quickly gets up to his feet and shoves Spike on the apron and gives him the middle finger. Spike gets tagged in. Which allows Flair to poke him in the eye and allows Evolution to begin working of him. GENIUS! FLAIR IS A FUCKIN’ GENIUS! Orton eliminates Spike first with the RKO, like 5 minutes in. three-on-two assault happens for a bit until D-Von hits a flying headbutt to Triple H’s injured groin, they hit a 3D onto Randy Orton for two ‘cause Flair pulls him out of the ring. Triple H rolls into the ring and kills D-Von with a French flag that was left behind by La Resistance, allowing Orton to get the pin on D-Von. Bubba is left alone, and takes out Flair and Orton. He then orders the eliminated D-Von Dudley to get the tables, but D-Von is stopped by some refs as we go to a commercial. We return and some stuff happens its pretty meh until Triple H hits him with a Pedigree that allows Orton to get the win. So Orton pins all three men, what a fuckin’ rub as for the match its basic not really impressive. **1/2

Backstage: Eric Bischoff is shocked to see RVD in his office, RVD demands Kane in the ring, but Bischoff says he’s not here but he’s willing to give RVD a match with Kane next week on RAW, but warns RVD that Kane has been a complete monster since Austin started this whole saga, but RVD says that Austin is not to blame for it and that he himself is. He says he started this whole thing with Kane, and he’s going to finish it next week.

Backstage: Chris Jericho has some RAW Superstars in a backstage, Jericho gives them a speech about how upset they should be over the fact that Austin’s negligence is the reason why Kane has gone on his rampage over the past few weeks. Jericho says he is going to send the petition to Linda McMahon, and that they will order for Austin’s immediate resignation.

Theodore Long & Rodney Mack come down to the ring,

Long says that he and Rodney Mack signed the petition for Austin’s resignation, and says that a black man should step in as the Co-RAW General Manager. He says he’d take the position, but he’s too busy running “Players Incorporated” Long starts up a chant of Hell No, Stone Cold! Chant as we go to a commercial.

Rosey vs. Rodney Mack (w/Theodore Long)
lolno

Backstage: Chris Jericho bumps into Evolution and he’s able to get them to sign the petition.

WWE Intercontinental Championship: Christian vs. Booker T
UGH! It’s like the same stuff every night with these two at this point nothing new it’s basic but means nothing. Rehashed spots, same ligament work but I swear these fuckin’ screwjob finishes are beyond awful at this point. Christian got a roll up with his hand on the ropes to win, but another ref came down to point this out. Two refs argued, and Austin came down to re-start the match. Not even 10 seconds later, Booker T hits the scissors kick for the win. Post-Match: Christian yells at the ref and shoves him. Austin runs back down to stop it, and he hits Christian with the Stunner.

Eric Bischoff's cell phone rings and its Linda McMahon.

At WWE HQ, Kane arrives with a present for JR in a red box.

WWE Women's Championship: Gail Kim vs. Molly Holly
3 minutes of nothing.

JR opens it up and its gasoline. Kane says that JR made fun of it one time too many and he will set him on fire. Jim Ross tells him that he is one of the most extraordinary athletes in the WWE. He said he won't make fun of him, he asks him about what happened two weeks ago on RAW where Austin was talking to him. Footage was shown off when Austin was telling him that this isn't a beauty contest, people don't care what he looks like, what matters is what he does in the ring. Back to the interview. "What's your reaction of seeing that footage again?" Kane says "Anger, hatred." JR asks "Why is that?" He tells him that we was a happy kid until a fire turned him into a monster. JR tells him that when he takes the towel off his head, we can't see anything, no marks show. Kane starts flipping out. JR says that he sees a man that needs help. Kane says "Help me JR. Please help me." JR says that he knows what it feels like being making fun of. He won't let people make him stop living his life. JR says that Austin, RVD, WWE fans are not his enemy, they support him, they don't care what he looks like. Kane says "You really think so?" Kane says that the people are liars, just like RVD and Austin. Kane says that as soon as he walks out of there, JR will make fun of him. Kane stands up, but Austin's music hits and he comes out to the ring. Austin says tells Kane to settle down because they're trying to help him. "You want to help me Austin?" says Kane. The only way to know is by experiencing it. Kane tells JR that he needs to feel his pain. Kane knocks down JR, takes the gasoline and puts it all over JR. He lights up a match and puts it on JR. JR was facing the floor and was on fire. WWE officials came with fire extinguishers to put out the fire.

Eric Bischoff comes out and tells him "damn you!" He blames the whole thing on Austin. Bischoff says that Linda McMahon will be on RAW next week in Hollywood and she will fire Austin's ass.

 

[Keith]

Will do my best to keep up with this.

Thought that Teddy Long stable and story surrounding it had promise, but it never really went anywhere.

Bad Blood was very poor. The Austin-Bischoff contest was beyond lame. The best thing about the Steiner/Test series was Stacy (and I don't just mean because she is hot). Flair-Michaels was only decent, and the main event was awful (Foley as ref was the only highlight).

Would like to relive that Raw with Gail's debut!

SD was really bad around this time having been pretty good at the start of the year.