WWE Raw, Smackdown & PPV's 2003

[Crippler]

WWE Smackdown 04/17/2003
Norfolk, Virginia

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar, Since 3/30/2003
WWE Tag Team Champions: Team Angle
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Matt Hardy

Rey Mysterio & Tajiri vs. The Big Show & A-Train
The team or Reyiri is 1-0 but they face their toughest challenge to date, Pretty AWESOME! Extended squash match here, I loved the heart of Team Reyiri as they would not stay down for anything. The match ended when first Big Show hit Rey Mysterio with a one handed press slam, the A-Train comes out of nowhere and kills Tajiri with Bicycle Kick for the win. Post-Match: A-Train goes to beat up Tajiri some more, but Tajiri uses the mist. So Show nails Tajiri with a clothesline, and helps A-Train up. As they begin to leave Rey runs on the apron and uses the post for a 619, knocking Show down on his ass. SHOW IS PISSED! **3/4

Backstage: Big Show is PISSED! And he tells A-Train he’s gonna ask Steph for a match with that masked twerp.

Michael Cole brings out Brock Lesnar for an interview, Footage of shown of Brock’s botched Shooting Star Press at Wrestlemania. Lesnar says that he is lucky to be standing here tonight, Kurt Angle kicked out of TWO F5's, something never done before so he knew he had to do something 'out of the ordinary' to win the WWE title. Lesnar says that he suffered a concussion, but would do it all again, just to be WWE champion. A title that took him 5 months to regain. Lesnar says that Kurt Angle took him to another level at Wrestlemania, and respects the hell out of Kurt. Suddenly, SOME SONG THAT STARTS OFF WITH “WORD LIFE†hits and John Cena comes down to the ring, Cena says Lesnar is talking about respecting “WHITE BOY BE LIARIN’†Respecting Kurt Angle and the people but Lesnar should be respecting John Cena. Cena says that to get a concussion, you need a brain. Cena then says that Wrestlemania is over, and Lesnar has to focus on the NEW Big Thing at Backlash, Lesnar will find out how BIG John Cena is. Suddenly, Chris Benoit's music hits and Benoit makes his way to the ring. Benoit says that Cena MUST respect the title, even if you don't respect the man wearing it. Lesnar asks if that means Benoit doesn't respect HIM. Lesnar & Benoit go face-to-face, until Cena demands that they "respect" him, Lesnar says we'll see who earns respect in their match tonight. Lesnar shakes both Cena and Benoit's hand, before Cena cheapshots Benoit and runs away.

Eddie Guerrero (w/Chavo Guerrero) vs. Jamie Noble (w/Nidia)
Before the match, Team Angle come onto the stage. Shelton speaks in a Mexican accent, and says they have a ton of respect for the Guerrero family. Haas says Eddie's grandma is easily the best housekeeper money can buy. This allows Noble to get the jump on Eddie, they do some stuff but it was too short the match would end when Nidia tries to help Noble but Chavo cuts him off and that allows Eddie to hit the frog splash for the win. Post-Match: Eddie gets on the mic and says they have a lot of respect for Team Angle too, and their mat skills. Eddie says they're amazing at takedown, and the rumor has it, they go down on each other all the time. Chavo then gets on the mic and says they give a new definition to the words “you suck†TEAM ANGLE IS PISSED! And we get a mini-brawl between the four. **1/2

Highlights of FBI week last week of them costing Taker the match and setting Nathan Jones up. We comeback and Cole says Taker just had elbow surgery and is gonna be out for a few weeks. We then get footage of Jones choking Nunzio out and beating up the other members of the FBI.

Torri Wilson and here Cleavage is stretching, when Sable comes in. Sable says she was impressed with Torrie's Playboy, but she prefers the real thing that she saw last week in the shower. Sable then asked for help with her zipper. Torrie seemed unsure so Sable unzipped herself. FUCK YEAH!

Piper's Pit: Roddy Piper comes down to the ring and gets on the mic,

Piper goes on a rant of the "coward" fans, specifically the ones on the internet Piper then shows footage of Piper's Pit with Jimmy Snuka 19 years ago, Piper says that 20 years ago he took on all comers, and now he's come back to take on the rest. He then shows footage of Piper's Pit last week, Sean O'Haire attacking Rikishi. Piper then introduces his "portage", Sean O'Haire comes out and says he wants to learn from the only brain MORE evil than his. Suddenly, Jimmy Snuka's comes out to the ring and Snuka says that they have a problem here. Piper says that he's got a problem too, and takes off his jacket and says that he is the greatest professional wrestler of all time. Piper extends his hand, saying that he is the bigger man, suggesting the bury the "coconut" Piper tries to cheapshot Snuka, but Snuka fights back so O'Haire kicks Snuka, knocking him down. But Rikishi comes in and goes after Sean O'Haire. Rikishi stalks Piper, but O'Haire kicks him in the head and they leave. Rikishi picks up the microphone and challenges O'Haire for Backlash.

Torrie Wilson vs. Nidia (Special Referee: Sable)
Oh that Torrie Wilson. I wanna do dirty things to her private parts.

WWE Cruiserweight Championship: Matt Hardy (w/Shannon Moore) vs. Brian Kendrick
Mattitude.com says “Matt really digs his book, Matt's favourite sushi is freshwater eel†Kendrick gets a quick rollup for two. Backslide attempt, but Matt moves out the way of a charge and Kendrick opts to hit Shannon on the outside instead. Kendrick comes back in over the top, but he misses and Matt suplexes him for two. Snake Eyes and a clothesline get two. Matt applies a full-nelson, which Kendrick escapes. He then heads to the top, but Matt brings him down again with another full-nelson but again Kendrick reverses to a DDT for two Leg lariat and enzuigiri for two. Jawbreaker and Kendrick goes up with a flying elbow that gets two. Sliced Bread #2 is countered into the Twist of Fate for the win. The ending was mad sloppy, like ¾ botches in the final minute. **1/2

Nathan Jones vs. Nunzio
FUCK OFF! Oh wait Post-Match: The FBI lays out Jones, and crushes his ankle with the steps. FUCK YEAH! RIP Nathan Jones

MR. AMERICA IS COMING~!

Tournament Finals Match: #1 Contenders for the WWE Championship: Chris Benoit vs. John Cena
Before the match Cena cuts a RAP! With the highlights being “When he gets his release, and when he goes broke he should use the space in-between his teeth, Cena also called him a Dynamite rip-off †The match starts with a hard tie-up but Benoit wins that but Cena comes back with a headlock but Benoit shoulderblocks out of it and shows his experience by pretty much carrying Cena through some nice mat work, before Cena takes over with a low blow. Cena goes for a quick cover for two and goes right to work with a chinlock, Benoit would try to get up several times but Cena would use his power and leverage to keep Benoit down. Benoit would fight out with an armdrag but Cena delivers a sweet boot to the midsection and he goes right back to the chinlick. Benoit breaks free and kills Cena chest with chops he tries a German but Cena rolls through, in sloppy fashion. Benoit fights back, and CONNECTS WITH THE TOPE SUICIDAAAAAAA TO A COMMERCIAL BREAK, DURING THE COMMERCIAL Benoit applies a wristlock but Cena fights back to his feet but Benoit keeps attacking but Benoit makes a mistake and hotshots Benoit onto the ropes and begins to work the neck in the ring, and in a nice touch, Cena would apply a neck vice and changes it up into a front facelock, and as it looks like Benoit is about to take over Cena drop toehold him into the middle turnbuckle. Then starts delivering knees the head and neck for two. Cena now applies a side headlock as Benoit screams but gets back to his feet and delivers a huge belly-to-back suplex. Both men are up and Benoit's comeback ruled with chops and a sick running forearm right to the face. Cena would cut him off with a choke but Benoit comes right back with an even violence forearm, 2 German suplexes and Benoit heads up but Cena moves during the diving headbutt. Cena uses a quick rollup but that only gets two, Benoit comes right back with a Crossface but Cena makes it to the ropes. Which pisses Benoit off and he pounds him down. Benoit would go for the Crossface again but Cena counters to the FU, but Benoit would counter that into a Sunset Flip counter to the FU, but Cena trapped Benoit's legs kinda stacking him up and with Benoit's hurt neck, he couldn't kick out, and Cena got the big upset. Great match. Mostly a carry job from Benoit in terms but Cena did pretty well for himself and showed he has a future in this business. ***1/4

 

[Crippler]

WWE 04/21/2003
Atlanta, Georgia

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam & Kane
WWE Women's Champion: Trish Stratus

I forgot to mention since JR quit 2 weeks ago, Johnathan Coachman is now taking his place. But he’s a face, so it’s average.

Chris Jericho vs. The Hurricane
This is vintage Jericho vs. lower-midcard match; Jericho gives him a ton of offense and bumps like a mad man for him. WWE has been doin’ their best since the Rock put him over huge in promos a month ago and Jericho made him look great in the ring with him tonight, I doubt Hurricane will ever be a main eventer but the push they’ve gave him so far he looked good. Jericho applied the Walls of Jericho and Hurricane is forced to tap. Post-Match: Ric Flair comes out to assault Hurricane in revenge for last week. He puts him in the Figure Four until refs come and pull him off. **3/4

In the parking lot, a long stretch hummer limousine pulls in and the Rock gets out Rock says get ready for "Rock" Concert II BABY! NO not BOOOOOO, but two.

Rodney Mack vs. White Boy
Theodore Long comes out with Rodney Mack and announces the debut of the THEODORE LONG 5 MINUTE WHITE BOY CHALLENGE~! Long joins commentary while Mack squashes this white boy with no name.

Backstage: Booker walks into Shawn’s dressing room, Booker T says he’s here to gets things straight between he and Shawn Michaels, who will referee his match tonight. And says that when he hit Shawn last week it was a mistake. Booker T then reminds Shawn Michaels of what happen last June when they were in this same arena (Booker talking about when HBK superkicked him out of the NWO) Booker says now we’re even.

The Coach introduces Lita to the ring for an interview Lita says she is almost ready to get back into the ring to compete again (She’s been injured for the past 9 months) Suddenly, Eric Bischoff comes down to the ring and gets on the mic. He excuses The Coach, saying that he is much better than Jim Ross, then goes on to say Lita is "Amazing" He then says Lita has to prove her worth on the RAW roster and that she’s worthless until she can wrestle again, she could get the same press for Raw that Torrie did for SD, and pose nude. Lita says it's great for Torrie, but she won't do anything she's forced to do. He hits on her then, and Lita turns him down. Eric sleazes all over Lita, saying that they should meet later in a hotel to inspect the goods. Lite declines the offer and walks out, so Eric fires her. WHAT A GUY!

Backstage: Flair and Hunter are PISSED OFF! That Michaels is the special ref, Flair then says that there has got to be a way to get some "insurance" Hunter then has a evil grin on his face, so he must have a plan.

Scott Steiner & Test (w/Stacy Keibler) vs. 3 Minute Warning (w/Rico)
The match ends when Steiner is caught hugging Stacy, distracting Test. Test gets attacked, but Steiner enters the ring and gets the pinfall on Rosey. Post-Mach: Test & Stacy argue in the ring after the match.
After the commercial, Test confronts Scott Steiner about stealing the pinfall from him, but Stacy steps in and thanks Scott Steiner for helping them tonight.

Backstage: Eric is on the phone talking about Lita is history, but Nash walks in and asks Bischoff what the hell he's doing putting Shawn as the referee, and Nash says he's trying to get this all back together. Eric says he has no control over this, and Nash says, since Eric clearly booked Shawn as ref to open the show. Nash says he'll pick a side: his side the winning side.

[video=dailymotion;x17128r]http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x17128r_rock-concert-ii-part-one_sport[/video]​

Spike and Trish come out for a mixed tag, but Morley comes out. He says their opponents have proven their loyalty to the administration by accepting this match, and as such, they will challenge RVD & Kane at Backlash...The Dudley Boyz.

The Dudley Boyz vs. Spike Dudley & Trish Stratus
Bubba powerbombs Spike as Morley keeps yelling at them to attack, So D-Von hesitates but Bubba nails Trish with a stiff Avalanche in the corner. Morley yells to put her through a table, D-VON SAYS "GET YOUR OWN DAMN TABLE" Morley gets the table out, Kane & Rob Van Dam come down and clean house saving Trish from the tables. Jazz & Teddy Long run down and Jazz pulls Trish up and puts on the Double Chicken wing or as she calls it the “BITCH DROP†on the table.

Backstage: Triple H & Nash are talking in the stairwell. Elsewhere; The Rock says that now that he got rid of Goldberg, it's time for an encore.

[video=dailymotion;x17128v]http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x17128v_rock-concert-ii-part-two_sport[/video]​

WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Triple H (w/Ric Flair) vs. Booker T [Special Guest Referee: Shawn Michaels]
Shawn Michaels lays down the law to start, saying he’s gonna do his part and their going to do theirs. Lockup to start with neither guy getting the advantage so Shawn breaks it up, they go at it again and Shawn again breaks it up. Hunter knees Booker in the guy then hammers way on Booker, he whips Booker in the corner but Booker huts a huge clothesline and both men begin to slug it out with Hunter getting the better until Booker counters a whip with a spinning forearm, then a side kick for two, sideslam gets another two but Hunter throws him to the outside. Where Flair tries to attack but Booker puts a stop to that. Hunter goes after him bot Booker is all over him. Back in, and Booker sidekicks hunter for two. As we see Jericho walking down to the ring. Booker stares him down which allows Hunter to knock him off the ring apron and Jericho attacks him while Hunter has Shawn distracted and we go to a commercial. Back and Hunter has a side headlock applied with Booker fighting out making Hunter go chin first into the turnbuckle. Sloppy looking Arn Spinerbuster as Booker fucks up coming in. This allows Hunter to drop the knee and begin to target the head with punches, but Booker again fights out but runs into the running high knee that gets 2 sets of two counts. Hunter applies a choke, but Shawn breaks it up and Hunter knees his spine. Neckbreaker gets a two, and both men begin to slug it out again but this time Booker gets the better until he runs into a sleeper. This is applied for several minutes but Booker lets go and he walks into a Booker jumping sidekick as Shawn begins to count both men down, more trading punches and this time Hunter botches a whip but gets nailed with a another sidekick and it all Booker with punches and clothesline until Hunter breaks the momentum and heads to the middle rope as he jumps off Booker kills him with a dropkick for two, Booker then heads up top and connects with anther dropkick for two. Hunter is up first and connects with a desperation facebuster then a DDT for two, short whip by Hunter bit Booker counters and misses the scissors kicks Hunter tries a Pedigree but that gets countered into a scissors kick but Flair is up and he gets knocked down Booker finally goes for a cover but Hunter kicks out at two. Booker now decides to head to the top again but Hunter pushes Shawn into the ropes as Shawn’s pants fall down this crotches Booker and Hunter goes for the cover and gets two. Pedigree attempt is countered into a backdrop and Booker connects with another scissors kick but as Shawn is distracted Jericho runs in and nails Booker with the title and Hunter crawls to the cover, Shawn would eventually turn around but sees the title in the ring so he refuses to count and punches Flair off the apron. Hunter begins to talk shit to him so Shawn superkicks him and tosses Jericho outs, Booker crawls to the cover but both Flair and Jericho break it up and attack Shawn. Nash now comes out with both Flair and Jericho leaving, Nash picks up Hunter and they talk. Nash then walks over to Shawn and picks him up. BUT OUT OF NOWHERE HUNTER KICKS HIM THE DICK, THEN KICKS SHAWN IN THE BACK AND SAYS “he's sick of waiting for Nash to make decisions, and that’s where he stands†This is quite good, but not Mania good lots of WWE style back-and-forth brawling, it really lacked AWESOME! Hunter knee work. ***1/4

 

[Crippler]

WWE Smackdown 04/24/2003
Nashville, Tennessee

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar
WWE Tag Team Champions: Team Angle
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Matt Hardy

John Cena comes down to the ring and gets on the mic, he cuts a RAP! He says it's time for Thuganomics class, and brags about beating Eddie, Taker, and Benoit to get his #1 Contender's spot. He also first calls himself the Doctor of Thuganomics here. He says he has footage that shows who Brock Lesnar REALLY is, but Rhyno comes out for their match.

John Cena vs. Rhyno
Rhyno overpowers Cena to start and throws him out the ring, but gets caught with a dropkick on the way in and Cena knees him on the apron. Guillotine legdrop on the ropes puts Rhyno on the floor again and Cena follows him out and sends him into the railing to work on the neck. Back in, Cena gets two off that. And goes right to work with an armbar, but Rhyno punches out, only to get taken down for two. Back to the arm for a bit but Cena goes to a full-nelson, but Rhyno slugs out and connects with a backdrop and clothesline. Butterfly suplex gets two, But Cena comes back with the somersault Ace Crusher for two AKA the throwback. Powerbomb gets two but Cena walks into a spinebuster, Rhyno sets him up for the GOAR! But Cena hits him with a knee and Cena gets a god-awful rollup for the win. **3/4

Backstage: The FBI tells Benoit that they bet on him last week and lost a lot of money, so they owe him. Benoit says they can collect out in the ring tonight.

Backstage: Josh Mathews tries to find out what the Sable Invitational is, but Sable keeps asking Josh what he thinks of her body she even add the "Men come to see her, women come wanna be her" She asks if he knows what it's like to have voluptuous breasts, and says there's nobody better to judge a female body competition than her.

Chris Benoit vs. Nunzio (w/FBI)
Benoit is stopped on his way to the ring by Stamboli and Palumbo. This allows Nunzio to hit a springboard dive onto Benoit. Nunzio rolls back in and distracts the ref while the FBI beatdown Benoit. Benoit gets rolled back in and Nunzio gets 2. Nunzio starts choking Benoit and tries a cross armbreaker but Benoit throws him off. Benoit starts killing him with chops and right hands in the corner. Stamboli distracts Benoit and Nunzio sneaks in the Sicilian Slice for 2. Nunzio hits a kneedrop and chokes some more. Nunzio hits a neckbreaker that gets 2, Benoit fights back and gets a small package out of nowhere for 2. Nunzio gets right back up and boots Benoit down again and hits a Mr. Perfect style necksnap followed by a dropkick for 2. Nunzio goes for a backbreaker but Benoit slips out and chops away again but gets meet with an enzuigiri. Both men are slow to get up but Benoit has the advantage as he sends Nunzio down with forearm. Benoit now hits a backdrop and then the triple rolling Germans. Palumbo gets on the apron and Benoit throws Nunzio into him. Nunzio tries to hit the springboard single arm DDT but Benoit counters it to the Crossface and Nunzio is forced to tap. Man, what is it with Canadian’s named Chris this week giving these lower-card guys a ton of offense and making them look competitive for the entire match. WHAT A BUNCH OF GUYS! Post-Match: Chuck connects with a Superkick, and Stamboli hits his Military Press Powerslam. PLEASE GOD! NO, BENOIT IS BETTER THAN THIS. **3/4

Backstage: Tajiri and Funaki watch a tape of Big Show getting hit with the 619 from the ringpost and falling on his ass last week. They laugh it up until Big Show shows up and destroys the TV and VCR.

Rey Mysterio vs. Mysterio Opponent
Mattitude.com says “Matt only uses lowfat salad dressings†Matt comes out on the stage and introduces the newest Mattitude follower, CRASH! Crash starts off quick with a hotshot that gets 2. He then grabs an armbar but Rey escapes and hits a headscissors. Crash counters a whip but walks into a huge boot. Rey tries a bulldog but Crash counters with a belly to back suplex for 2. Crash charges again but gets hit with a drop toehold as Rey tries to pick Crash up but gets dumped to the outside, where Shannon hits Rey with Matt's book and sends him back in the ring Crash gets 2 from the book shot, but Rey comes back and counters Crash with a bulldog out of a missed corner splash. Rey connects with a tornado DDT for 2 as Crash comes back with a thumb to the eye but Rey pushes Crash into Shannon on the apron. Crash falls onto the ropes and Rey hits him with the 619 followed by the legdropped for the win. **1/2

Backstage: John Cena gives A-Train a pep talk before his match with Brock Lesnar tonight, Cena shows the footage of Brock's nearly botched F5 last time he faces A-Train.

Rikishi vs. Roddy Piper (w/Sean O'Haire)
I don’t want to talk about this, terrible way to advance an angle.

Sable comes out, and says since she came back, people keep talking about how hot she is. Sable says that all divas have accepted her Bikini challenge, except for Torrie Wilson so she introduces Nidia & Dawn Marie (the only other divas on Smackdown) who come out in their robes, Sable tells the divas to show their stuff. Suddenly Torrie Wilson's music hits and Torrie comes to the ring in her own robe. FUCK YEAH! Nidia goes first and it’s hilarious as the camera's catch Sable cracking up. Dawn Marie is next and she does her thing, FUCK YEAH! Torrie is next, she shows her tiny red Bikini and rubs her body up against Sable FUCK YEAH! Sable announces that Nidia & Dawn Marie are co-winners. So, Dawn Marie & Nidia then attack Torrie Wilson from behind, Sable tells Torrie that the only loser here tonight is Torrie Wilson.

We get a prematch taped promo from Team Angle. They dedicated their win over Los Guerrero’s at Backlash to their captain, Kurt Angle, as he recovers from surgery.

Chavo Guerrero (w/Eddie Guerrero) vs. Shelton Benjamin (w/ Charlie Haas)
They exchange wristlocks to start and Chavo grabs a headlock, but Benjamin reverses to a hammerlock. Chavo decides to dropkicks him and head out and brawl on the floor and back in for a Chavo clothesline. Chavo stomps a mudhole and misses a corkscrew senton, Shelton misses a charge, but gets a northern lights powerslam for two. Stiff straight kick to the back and Chavo and Benjamingo for chinlocks at the same time. Scoop Slam gets two and Shelton cuts off a comeback, but gets flap jacked. Chavo dropkicks him in the head for two and comes back with a rolling reverse into an STU. The ref gets distracted and Haas pulls Shelton to the ropes. Chavo gets a rollup, but Haas pushes him over and Benjamin gets the pin. Sloppy stuff, didn’t care for it at all. **

Backstage: Cena cuts a promo on Brock and ends it with “it's not Here Comes the Pain, it’s Here Comes the Trainâ€

The Big Show vs. Tajiri
Tajiri tries to escape to start but Show corners him, Show begins to throw Tajiri around to start and clotheslines him after no-selling some kicks. Snake Eyes and Show beats him in the corner, but crotches himself. Tajiri comes back with kicks which Show shrugs off, and kicks him in the back after the handspring elbow attempt. Mysterio’s music distracts and Tajiri comes back with more kicks, but Show no-sells again and chokeslams him. Rey finally makes his appearance and Show chases, and Rey sends Big Show into the post (that doesn’t draw the DQ either) and Show gets counted out. **

Backstage: We get a THE EPIC ASS shot of Steph in here office, she says she knows she isn't a Torrie Wilson, but she's an all American girl. And that she is proud to be an American. Steph then says that she is proud to announce the signing of Mr. America.

John Cena comes out on the stage (Man he’s been all over this show tonight) He cuts a RAP!

Brock Lesnar vs. A-Train
Cena is on commentary for this, FUCK YEAH! I get this in full. Huge lock-up to start with neither man breaking clean. They go at it again with neither man moving. Takedown by Brock who applies a front facelock with roles Brock then flips him over into a quick pin but Train back into the corner but Brock counter with shoulderblocks. Train counter with shoulders of his own and neither man will budge on shoulder tackles but do on the 3[SUP]rd[/SUP] with both men go flying. Train begins to take over him huge hits but Brock comes back with huge clothesline but adds the legsweep. Brock picks him up again and delivers more shoulderblocks in the corner and goes to work on the midsection. Brock clothesline him over the top as Cena is cracking me up on commentary. Brock throws Train back first onto the apron and back in the ring as Cena asks Brock “Does he want beef†Brock takes his attention away for a second and A-Train kills him with a bicycle kick off the apron to the floor, two count for Train and now he goes to work on the midsection. Stomps in the corner then connects with a huge clothesline. Train kills him with a slingshot to the middle rope and then applies the chinlock choke, Train switches it up and puts the knee to the spine. And goes right back to the chinlock. Until Brock finally powers out. Train pounds him down but gets caught with a spinebuster. Brock hits a flying forearm, and a clothesline. Brock tries a blind charge but walks into a boot. Train tries the train wreck but Brock powers out and hits a powerslam for 2. Brock hits a couple of belly to belly suplexes but Train connects with vicious headbutt and the Derailer for 2. Brock comes right back with the F5 but Cena runs in and breaks up the pin for the DQ. Post-Match: Cena nails Brock with his chain, Cena picks him up and hits the FU. But he’s still not done, Cena then levels him with the WWE title to the head. Brock is busted open, I think it was off the chain shot. Cena celebrates as Smackdown goes off air. ***

Smackdown is off air: Cena is still talking shit “U MAD DOGG†Brock is holding onto the title, but Cena comes back down for more. He’s got his chest sticking out now Cena grabs the ref as the ref says something to him. Cena grabs the mic and talks about RESPECT! Cena then picks up the title and makes even more fun of Brock. OH SHIT! Brock is up as Cena ponders to the crowd. F-5 to Cena and Brock is laughing, Shit Cena no sold the F-5 god damn off air. Brock celebrates with the title and the crowd love it.

 

[Crippler]

WWE Backlash 2003
Worcester, Massachusetts

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar,
WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE Tag Team Champions: Team Angle
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam & Kane,
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Matt Hardy
WWE Women's Champion: Trish Stratus

WWE Tag Team Championship: Team Angle vs. Los Guerrero’s
Team Angle brings a giant Kurt Angle picture with them in tribute to Kurt, who was recovering from neck surgery. The picture also has some gold medals on top Haas and Eddie start the match with some chain wrestling until Eddie is able to get a few quick covers for near falls. Haas tags out to Benjamin quickly and locks up with Chavo. Some more chain wrestling, but Chavo is able to get the advantage on Benjamin by working on the arm by applying a cross arm breaker. Benjamin is able to regain the advantage after Haas knees Chavo in the back coming off the ropes. Benjamin goes to bounce off the ropes but Eddie knees him in the back for a pop. Eddie comes in while the ref is distracted by Haas and does the phantom tag, allowing him to come in and choke Benjamin with the tag rope. Eddie gets a few shots on him on the outside and Eddie comes in via slingshot sentons onto Benjamin for a two count but he allows Shelton to make the tag to a fresh Charlie Haas for some reason. Shelton chokes out Eddie with the tag ropes while Haas has the ref distracted. And this allows Team Angle do the double team leapfrog backbreaker for a two count. Haas puts to the boots to Eddie before locking on a chinlock, but Eddie makes a comeback with a belly to back suplex. Eddie dives to tag Chavo, but is cut off by a double leg takedown by Charlie Haas. Benjamin comes in without a tag as the ref is distracted and puts another chinlock on Eddie, which he escapes with a jawbreaker. Eddie once again goes for the hot tag, but Shelton holds onto Eddie’s ankle and pulls him back to the corner. Powerslam by Benjamin gets a two count before applying a chinlock. Eddie again tries to fight out but Haas comes in and puts in another resthold on Eddie, Eddie would finally counter it with a head scissors takeover! He dives over Haas and tags in Chavo who takes both men out and connects with a brainbuster on Haas for two/ Shelton comes into the ring and nails Chavo with a powerbomb. Eddie would come off the top with a missile dropkick on Shelton and connects with his Rolling Vertical Suplexes on Haas, Chavo crawls over to make the cover and gets a two count off that. Eddie comes off the top with the Frogsplash and again Chavo slowly makes the cover again Shelton pulled him off at two bur Haas is holding his ankle! Eddie heads back to the ring but is sent into the steel steps. Chavo would then go for a belly to back suplex, but Shelton, on the outside grabs Chavo’s leg, allowing Haas to fall on top! Benjamin holds Chavo’s feet down as Team Angle get the win. Post-Match: Eddie backdrops Chavo over the ropes onto the champions, and then they steal the belts on their way to the back. They get backstage and drive off in the Low Rider with the EPIC horn. Excellent choice for the opener, I loved all the cut off tags stuff but the ending was a little too cheap. Also fuck the crowd for attempting BORING! Chants. *** - ***1/4

Backstage: Test hits on Torrie Wilson and she’s like NO leave me alone Torrie is my friend, but Test gets super CLB on her and calls her a tease. She tries to leave but he forces a kiss on here and she runs off. The camera then cuts to Sable watching the whole thing.

Rikishi vs. Sean O'Haire (w/Roddy Piper)
Piper makes his way to the ring with a coconut in a basket, he gets on the mic and introduces Sean O’Haire to the ring. Rikishi goes after Piper but O’Haire is lying in wait. Rikishi sees the set coming though and sends him into the steel steps. Back in the ring, Rikishi hits a Samoan drop when Piper gets on the apron to distract him. O’Haire once again tries to take advantage but Rikishi is able to avoid it and irish whips, him Rikishi turns and looks at Piper giving O’Haire the chance to connect with a superkick, he begins to choke Rikishi when the ref goes to admonish him, Piper gets his licks in on the outside. O’Haire gets some punches in the corner followed by a pair of clotheslines for a two count. Neck vice is applied but he breaks the hold to kick Rikishi in the back HARD and puts it back on. Meanwhile, Piper is getting the crowd PISSED! On the outside but the camera won’t show O’Haire places Rikishi across his shoulders, almost going for a Samoan Drop of his own, but Rikishi wriggles out of it and squashes him in the corner. He sets up O’Haire for the Stinkface but O’Haire uses his feet and kicks him to a few feet away! Piper comes into the ring with a coconut, but is stopped by referee Rikishi and O’Haire get up at the same time and Rikishi hits a superkick at the same time that O’Haire hits an enziguiri and both men are down. Piper once again comes into the ring with the coconut, but Rikishi sees him and nails him with a right hand and smashes the coconut on Piper’s head! O’Haire picks up Rikishi from behind and connects with the Cruel Intentions (Inverted DVD) for the win. Match sucked, not PPV worthy at all. **

Backstage: Stacy Keibler is at the catering table, with the smallest amount of food possible. Sable comes in and introduces herself and tells Stacy that she just saw Torrie kissing Test and that she’s been secretly having an affair with him. Stacy refuses to believe it, Sable leaves and Stacy storms off.

Backstage: RVD is hyping himself up while Kane seems like the calm and cool. RVD tells Kane that he doesn’t think they’ll make it out with the tag titles tonight because they’re at such a disadvantage with Chief Morley being the Special Guest Ref for their tag title match against the Dudleys. Kane says it they’re going down they’re gonna take everyone with them.

WWE World Tag Team Championship: Rob Van Dam & Kane vs. The Dudley Boyz [Special Referee: Chief Morley]
Bubba starts the match with RVD, and they do some sweet counter/reversal sequence. RVD connects with a spinning wheel kick for a two count and shoulder thrusts in the corner, back flips on the last one and gets clotheslined by Bubba. D-Von comes into the match and hammers on RVD until RVD hits a spin kick, then a somersault legdrop for two. Kane comes into the match and begins working on D-Von’s arm with several arm wringers and an arm takedown. D-Von fights back with right hands but Kane levels him with big boot for a two count. Kane charges at D-Von in the corner but D-Von gets the boot up, allowing him knock Kane down with a clothesline and tags in Bubba. Kane works on Bubba for a few until D-Von drapes Kane over the top rope throat first giving the Dudley’s the advantage. Kane comes back with a spinebuster for two as RVD comes back in, to put the boots to Bubba he then hits a running dropkick in the corner, and connects with another spin kick to Bubba. Split Legged Moonsault gets a close two. And RVD comes charging at Bubba in the corner for a monkey flip, but gets pushed off. RVD comes charging at Bubba a second time and gets killed with a sidewalk slam. Morley distracts Kane allowing the Dudley’s connect with “Wassapâ€￾ D’Von is back in and applies a chinklock. But Bubba comes in and connects with a basement dropkick on RVD for payback. RVD tries to make a tag to Kane but gets cut off by Bubba. He hits an enziguiri on Bubba, but still can’t manage to crawl over and make the tag. He finally makes the tag and Kane who hits a sidewalk slam on D-Von for two, RVD tags back in and hits a kick off the top on D-Von then the Rolling Thunder on Bubba. He goes for a monkey flip on D-Von in the corner, but D-Von counters with this sick running neckbreaker out of the corner. D-Von walks right into Kane’s top rope flying clothesline. As Bubba hits his elbows that Kane NO-SELLS! And goes for the chokeslam. Morley low-blows Kane and Bubba goes for the pin that gets a two. Morley tosses Kane out of the ring and goes to clothesline RVD. RVD ducks and Morley nails Bubba! D-Von sees this and finally gets the chance to extract some revenge on Morley. He starts killing him with right hands, but Lance Storm comes flying in with a springboard clothesline! He goes after Bubba but Bubba is able to duck and connect with Bubba Bomb! Lance falls out of the ring and Bubba clotheslines RVD. Morley starts punching Bubba for some reason 3D! On Morley and Kane comes back into the ring to chokeslams Bubba. He throws D-Von to the outside and RVD hits the Five Star Frogsplash, as another ref comes in to count to three. Lol @ my Backlash DVD is playing the 1[SUP]st[/SUP] RVD theme song and not One of A kind. As for the match it was standard stuff that I’ve been seeing on Raw the past 2 months. I hated the overbooking in the final minutes but it was predicted. **1/2

Backstage: Stacy Keibler goes into the Women’s locker room to confront Torrie. She tells Torrie that she knows. However, Torrie assumed that Stacy realized that Test was stalking her and said, Stacy shoves her down and calls her a BITCH! As the entire women’s locker room have to hold her back. The best part of this was the little cute dog running past everyone and Nidia yelling to fighting, while Dawn Marie laughs.

WWE Women's Championship: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz (w/Teddy Long)
Before the match, Jazz tells us that the bitch is back and the bitch is black. Jazz gets in her face to start and Jazz gets the advantage with a shot to the injured kidneys. Trish connects with a cradle for two and a Japanese armdrag before they lock up again. Jazz goes for a backbreaker, concentrating on the already injured back. Trish comes flying back with a clothesline for a two, but Jazz takes control again with the “Bitch Slamâ€￾ and continues to target the back with knee drops. Trish flips out of a side slam attempt and gets one of her own, Jazz would rip off the middle turnbuckle in the corner. The ref goes to put it back and while he’s busy doing that, Trish rolls her up with a backslide. Jazz gets up and gets some right hands to the face of Trish, who battles back with forearms. Trish charges at Jazz in the corner but is meet with a boot. Jazz climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Trish tries here handstand rana. NO! Jazz hooks one of her legs and drops down in a single leg crab! She drags her to the middle of the ring, but Trish will not tap out. Trish powers out and rolls Jazz up for two before putting on a Boston Crab of her own. She transitions into the STF but Jazz crawls the ropes. Teddy Long pushes the ropes towards her in order to get to them. Trish connects with some chops on Jazz before nailing the Chick Kick for dos. Jazz comes back with a jawbreaker and a dropkick for two. Jazz goes for a belly to back suplex, but Trish flips out and hits the Stratusfaction. She goes for the cover by Teddy Long throws his SHOE TO BREAK UP THE PIN He blames it on the fans too, a second attempt at the Stratusfaction but us turned into a roll up and Jazz sits down and holds onto the ropes for the win. Not a bad match at all, Lawler mentioned it earlier but Trish has improved like 500% from a year ago. Thank you Finley. **1/4

The Big Show vs. Rey Mysterio
Rey evades Show to start, and then dropkicks him coming in and pounds away in the corner. Show heads to the outside and Rey quickly climbs into the ring. Show tries to get back into the ring but Rey hits him with a baseball slide. Show kicks the steel steps out of frustration and gets even more frustrated when Rey nails him with a springboard dropkick as he makes his way back into the ring going over the top rope. Rey runs at him in the corner twice, punching away as much as he can, but is simply swatted down like a fly each time. Show grabs him and tosses him into the corner. He sets up Rey in the corner and kills him with a chop. Show Irish whips Rey but he goes out to the floor to recover from that chop, Show reaches over the top rope. Palms Rey’s head and lifts him back onto the apron! Rey is able to drop down though, draping Show’s throat over the top and staggering the big man. He goes for a springboard cross body, but Show grabs him and throws him into a backbreaker. Show is just tossing him around at this point then stands on him for a few seconds. He press slams Rey and lets him just drop, but Rey actually lands on his feet and goes after Show’s legs! Show chops Rey on his back, sending him flying out of the ring! Rey gets a chair from under the ring. Show goes over to see what he’s doing, as does the ref and Show ends up knocking the ref down by swatting him away. Rey nails Show in the head with the chair, Rey comes off the top with a flying senton for two. Show gets up and holds onto the ropes Rey hits the 619 on Show’s STOMACH! Show turns around and leans on the ropes, holding his midsection and Rey hits ANOTHER 619 on the back of Show’s legs! Show is down to his knees and that allows Rey to hit a third 619 to the FACE! Rey comes off the top with a West Coast Pop attempt…but Show catches him in mid-air AND FLAT OUT KILLS HIM WITH A DELAYED Chokeslam, and that’s enough for the win. Post-Match:The referee checks on Rey and calls for the trainers. They come down and strap him onto a board, Show storms back down, shoves the EMTs aside, and slams the board into the ring post with Rey still on it. I don’t get the hate for this match at all it was fuckin’ great for 4 minutes, Rey was moving around and played the story of cat and mouse perfectly pissing off show whenever he could. **3/4

Backstage: Lillian Garcia interviews Triple H, Ric Flair and Chris Jericho. Triple H tells Lillian Garcia that he’s not worried about Nash gunning for him because it’s a tag match. He puts over Flair then puts over Jericho says he’s only interested in making Shawn Michaels tap tonight. Flair goes NUTS talking about Booker T, comparing his 16 titles to Booker's 5. And Hunter says he’s gonna take care of Nash tonight.

Backstage: Stacy and Torrie are still brawling It’s been like 30 minutes. This time, Torrie shoves Stacy into a fixture and a box comes crashing down on her head. Scott Steiner comes out of a room and helps her up. He comforts her and picks her up but Test comes walking by PISSED! That she’s with Steiner. Scott leaves her with Test as Test yells at her.

WWE Championship: John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar
Before the match, Cena and his lost voice cuts a RAP! Oh I should also mention Cena is wearing “A Yankees jersey and hatâ€￾ what a heel in his own home town. Some of the highlights of the RAP! Was “I’ll be a better champion than Bruno Sammartino, I lost my mind like Mankind, pulling socks from his ass crack, I’m straight, you’re Dude Love so get off the Cactus, Jack and I wear this Yankees jersey, Cruz Massachusetts makes me sick. You don’t like what I’m saying….well you can suck my.â€￾ Brock gets the biggest pop of the night so far as he makes his entrance. Cena and Brock go face to face until Cena attacks Brock to start the match and sends him into the corner. Lesnar comes out of the corner with a quick knee lifts and clubbing blows onto Cena’s back. Brock hits two backbreaker and a fall away slam, then a pair of vertical suplexes before getting the first two count of the match. He puts on a front face lock for a few and transitions it into a release Fishermans Suplex. Cena goes into the corner and puts a boot to Brock, but as Cena charges in, he runs after Brock himself and gets press slammed. Brock clotheslines Cena to the outside and then throws him into the side of the announce table. Back in the ring now, Lesnar goes for a lariat, but Cena bails. He goes to ringside to get a chair, but Lesnar follows him out. Cena reverses an Irish whip on the outside and throws him into the steel steps. He smashes his head into them as well as Brock’s wound is opened up. Cena gets a couple of pinfall attempts and then puts the boots to Brock, Lesnar gets up and hits a few knee lifts, but Cena attacks him with one of his own and shouldertackles Brock onto the ring apron. Cena gets a 2nd rope legdrop on Brock, as Brock falls to the outside. Cena then rams him into the ring post before going for the cover again and gets two. Cena applies the reverse chinlock for a while but Cena breaks the hold just to kick Brock right in the forehead again, doubling him over. Cena connects with a DDT for a two count and charges at Brock but Brock hits a desperation spinebuster. Both men are slow to get to their feet and Lesnar goes for some knee lifts, but Cena immediately hits a jawbreaker and a hard clothesline for a two count. He applies a rear naked choke. Brock gets up with Cena on his back and rams him into the corners repeatedly to get him off. Cena gets up and goes after Brock but gets clotheslined, Brock gets a powerslam for two then drives his shoulder into Cena’s midsection in the corner. Cena gets out of it and whips Brock into the corner, almost bumping the ref, but Brock stops short. Cena hits a low blow from behind and rolls up Brock for two. Cena comes off the ropes with his somersault neckbreaker for another pinfall attempt, SWERVE! Cena goes to pick up Brock who gets up and charges into the corner with Cena. Cena grazes the bottom of the top turnbuckle with his head and ends up smacking the ring post and Lesnar is down now and while the ref checks on him, Cena puts his chain around his hand, but the ref sees this and takes it away. Cena goes after Brock but Brock hits the F5 out of nowhere for win. Brock was slightly off tonight, and is nowhere as good as he would be later on that same year. As for Cena he’s still learning but showed he’s an upper mid-card guy but showed flashes of being a main eventer. ***

Triple H, Chris Jericho & Ric Flair vs. Booker T, Shawn Michaels & Kevin Nash
Jericho has the epic, Pink and & Black attack attire on Flair comes out to some WCW dubbed theme while Triple H had the purple trunks on. Booker has the most awful dubbed theme song of all time this is some techno video game version , OH SHIT! Shawn is in full ’95 attire mode here with white and silver attire, as for Nash he has the AWESOME! 2003 country song. Nash wants to start again Hunter, but Hunter tags out to Jericho so Shawn comes in. They start up chopping each other and brawling in the ring until they end up in a series of near falls against each other. Jericho cheap shots him after getting out of a backslide and blocks a Shawn dropkick attempt by attempting the Walls of Jericho. Shawn powers out and tags in Nash and Nash disposes of Jericho and Flair and asks Hunter to come into the ring, but Hunter stalls until Jericho can come in and him from blindside him. Nash tosses Jericho over the top, but he skins the cat to come back in and walks into a Nash Big Boot. Booker T tags comes and connects with a spinebuster for two, chops in the corner by Booker T until Jericho elbows out of the corner and comes off the top with a double axehandle attempt but Booker blocks it and pancakes him instead for two. Jericho gets up and sends Booker T into the corner. And Hunter finally gets in. Booker gets a spin kick on Hunter for a two count, but Hunter comes right back with the facebuster. Chops in the corner, but Booker is able to fight back briefly before Hunter backs him up into the heel corner. He fights out only to get planted by a spinebuster. Flair comes in quickly and misses an elbow and Booker tags in Shawn, Shawn takes out Team HYF. He connects with Sweet Chin Music on Flair, but Hunter comes from behind and nails the Pedigree. Nash chase after Hunter as Flair and Shawn, are both down. Flair tags in Jericho, who takes the opportunity to mock Michaels after a pair of elbows. Hunter comes back in and goes to work on HBK in the corner. Shawn makes a small comeback but is meet with a high knee. Booker T comes in to break it up and Flair comes goes for the Figure Four, only to get rolled up for two. Flair hooks Shawn’s ankle and tags in Jericho who nails him with a belly to back suplex. Hunter tags in and wraps Shawn’s leg around the ring post a couple of times before sending him back into the corner. Triple H starts working the leg again and tags in Flair who starts working on the leg, Flair hits a shin breaker but Shawn hits an enziguiri out of desperation. Flair and Shawn collide off a shoulder block and Shawn falls on top of Flair for a two. Flair tags in Hunter as Shawn tags in Kevin Nash. Nash hits him with a pair of elbows in the corner and body slams the rest of the team. Nash clotheslines Flair to the outside and hits Snake Eyes on Hunter, which he follows up with a side slam for two. Hunter heads to the outside as Flair comes in and just chops Nash like 3 times, which he promptly no sells. Booker T goes after Flair and they head out to ringside while Jericho begins brawling with Nash. Nash tosses him away, but Hunter turns Nash around and goes for the Pedigree. Nash back body drops him out and goes for the Jacknife, but Jericho comes off the top with a missile dropkick for the save. Jericho and Booker T go at it, and Booker connects with the scissors kick on Jericho SPINAROONIE~! But Jericho gets up and goes flying over the top thanks to Booker and they start brawling at ringside. Hunter and Nash are always brawling at ringside, leaving Flair and Shawn in the ring. Flair heads to the but Shawn cuts him off, Shawn begins to tune up the band in the corner but Jericho gets in the ring and nails a bulldog on Michaels before he can get it off and Flair puts the Figure Four on as Jericho hits the Lionsault on Shawn while he’s in the Figure Four. AWESOME! But instead of going for the cover, Jericho places Shawn in the Walls of Jericho. Nash rips apart one of the announce tables to put Hunter through it, but realizes that Shawn is in trouble and makes the save. Nash connects with Snake Eyes and goes to Jacknife Jericho, but Flair gets in his way. Nash puts his hand around Flair’s neck and throws him out of the ring, taking the ref with him. Nash hits the Jacknife on Jericho, but Hunter comes into the ring and nails him in the head with the sledgehammer for the win. FUCK YEAH! This was pretty damn good if I do say so myself, it was all about setting up Nash/Hunter for the future and showing how heartless Hunter has now become. **3/4

Michael Cole and Tazz show us footage of Rey Mysterio dying, they tells us Rey Mysterio's vitals are okay, but they don't know the extent of the damage.

Backstage: Terri Runnels interviews The Rock, He calls her "Lemon Panties" & “Giggle Pantiesâ€￾ He then tells her he’s don everything and the only thing he hasn't done is make a white baby. YEAH! YOU KNOW! “The Rock ain’t next…you’re next, you whisker biscuit, bald headed BITCHâ€￾

The Rock vs. Goldberg
Hollywood Rock, I’m gonna miss you buddy. The Rock walks around ringside, stalling before getting into the ring to face Goldberg. “Rockyâ€￾ chants by the fans actually calm him down…and then the “Goldbergâ€￾ chants start. They lock 5 minutes after the bell has rang Goldberg overpowers the Rock and send him flying into the corner. They lock up again with the same result, sending Rocky to the outside and once again a chorus of boos are heard. Rock gets back in the ring and he SLAPS Goldberg. Goldberg smiles at this and attacks Rock with a few punches and a shoulder tackle before clotheslining Rocky to the outside. The Rock takes a ton of time on the outside before jumping onto the apron and pulls Goldberg’s head down onto the ropes before finally climbing into the ring and clotheslining him down. Rock plays to the crowd until Goldberg gets up. Goldberg out of nowhere Rock Bottoms OH SHIT! IT’S A GOLD BOTTOM! He gets ready in the corner, waiting for The Rock to get up and goes for the spear, but Rock sidesteps and Goldberg goes into the ring post. Goldberg starts selling his shoulder as Rock sends him in and puts the Sharpshooter on for a while, but eventually gets to the ropes to break it up. Rock shoves Hebner out of the way and just straight up punches Goldberg in the groin Rock sets up for the Rock Bottom, but Goldberg explodes out of the corner with a spear Goldberg is still sells his shoulder as The Rock actually gets up first, but Goldberg gets a shoulder tackle. Rock gets powerslammed for two. But Goldberg is too hurt to capitalized, so Rock hits three clotheslines to knock him down. He nips up and “smellsâ€￾ to the delight of the crowd before the first Rock Bottom, but Goldberg kicks out. Rock punches until Goldberg connects with a clothesline out of desperation. Rock gets up and hits a quick spinebusters then the People’s Elbow for two and the fans are booo’ing Goldberg like crazy here A “Goldberg sucksâ€￾ chant breaks out, as Goldberg gets up and spears the Rock takes at least 45 seconds to get up as the “Goldberg sucksâ€￾ chant have gotten LOUDER and Goldberg nails him with a second spear! Goldberg signals for the Jackhammer and connects for the SHOCKING WIN This is way better than I expected, I popped for Goldberg’s selling and for Rock's selling and bumping with crowd play. I’m gonna miss Hollywood Rock so much. **1/2

 

[Crippler]

WWE Raw 04/28/2003
Boston, Massachusetts

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam & Kane
WWE Women's Champion: Jazz

Chris Jericho debuts a show called the “Highlight Reel†Jericho says that if Roddy Piper could have Piper's Pit on Smackdown, then RAW should have a cooler segment and he welcomes everyone to the first ever "Chris Jericho's Highlight Reel" Jericho then says that his guest is a friend of his from his WCW days and a man who beat up Rock last night. Goldberg! Goldberg comes down and takes a seat with the microphone in hand, Jericho jokes around saying that it's good to see Goldberg again and reminisces about their days in WCW asking why he didn't ever accept his challenge Goldberg says that since it's a "NEW" beginning, he has no problem kicking his ass. Jericho asks Goldberg why he just walked into the WWE and walked around like a big shot, then asks why Goldberg came to the WWE, when he could have stayed at home. Just as Goldberg was about to answer, Christian's music suddenly hit and Christian came to the stage. Christian asks Goldberg how it felt when most of the fans booed him last night at Backlash and Goldberg says that the fans pay money to see him and can boo him or cheer him as they wish. He goes on to say he was brought it to do a job, to destroy everybody who is in his way and that he knows he has to earn his stripes in the WWE. Goldberg remembers when he got a big response from spearing Christian a few weeks ago, Jericho tells Goldberg that nobody wants him in the WWE. Christian agrees and brings out Three-Minute Warning, Rico, Victoria & Steven Richards to protest Goldberg Christian says that he is a 9-Time Tag Team Champion, IC champion, Euro Champ, Hardcore Champ. Goldberg tell all of them to come down to the ring and do something about it, Steven Richards slides into the ring, but everyone else backs off Goldberg spears Steven Richards.

Coach and Lawler tell us that The Dudley Boyz are suspended again lmao

The Hurricane vs. Chief Morley
Pretty basic match here, nothing special. Hurricane hits the Overcast for the win. *1/2

Backstage: Ric Flair talks up Triple H, he puts over Hunter's magazine cover and says it's now proven after the last month that he's the greatest World Champion of all-time. Triple H says it doesn't matter what everybody thinks, but knowing Ric Flair thinks it is great. Flair asks why he has his gear on, Triple H says that after all Flair's done for him, it's time Flair has some kind of reward. So tonight he and Ric Flair will challenge Kane & RVD for the Tag Team titles.

Five Minute White Boy Challenge: White Boy vs. Rodney Mack (w/Teddy Long)
Before the match Teddy Long talks shit about Larry Bird because he’s WHITE! SQUASH! Post-Match: Teddy Long gets on the mic, he introduces the woman who turned Backlash into Blacklash. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Jazz, Teddy Long & Rodney Mack throw a celebration party for Jazz in the ring and we see Trish Stratus watching a monitor backstage.

Backstage: Trish asks Bischoff for a rematch since she was screwed last night. He says she has no rematch clause in her contract, but she says she'll do anything. Bischoff says that if Trish can beat him in a match tonight she'll get a title shot next week, he also says that if Trish loses, then she will spend some "quality time" with him tonight.

Backstage: Test and Stacy argue about Torrie and Steiner. Test is upset that Stacy paired him up with Steiner in a tag match, and she says she sees the potential to win the tag titles for them. Test says he'll do it if Stacy starts trusting him again, and she says she'd like to.

WWE World Tag Team Championships: Triple H & Ric Flair vs. Rob Van Dam & Kane
Flair and Kane start with Kane overpowering him twice as Flair tries to stall but hits a chop that pisses off Kane and he begins to punch away at Flair before press-slamming him and in comes RVD but Flair pokes him in the eye and quickly tags in Hunter. But RVD would meet him straight away with a spin kick, then another that sends Hunter to the outside. Plancha onto both Flair and Hunter. RVD rolls him back in, but wastes time on the outside and this allows Hunter to level him with a clothesline. We then cut backstage of Shawn on the phone saying “He’s a sitting duck†back from a commercial and Kane chokes Hunter before letting him go. Tag to RVD who legdrops him for two. But Hunter counters a whip but as he comes charging in RVD spin kicks him down. And does one of his flashy backflips just to dropkick him. Spinning legdrop gets two but Flair knees RVD to the back allowing Hunter to connect with the Arn Spinebuster. Flair starts chopping and pounds on RVD in the corner. He distracts the ref and Hunter gives him a cheapshot. Flair moves this to the other corner, and tags Hunter in. Hunter and RVD slug it out but Hunter cuts of all of RVD’s momentum with a high knee as Kane breaks up the cover. Flair also uses the knee, for two. RVD makes the comeback but stands too close to the wrong corner and Flair goes for RVD’s leg, Hunter stays on it with elbows as Flair grabs a leglock and Hunter applies the Indian Deathlock. RVD fights off Flair and makes the hot tag to Kane, who cleans house with clotheslines and sideslams and clotheslines, flying clothesline gets two. As Hunter tries a Pedigree attempt, but Kane escapes. Flair goes low on him, as does Hunter. This allows Flair to apply the figure-four but RVD breaks that up with Rolling Thunder, Hunter disposes of him with a sick DDT and Pedigrees Kane. Suddenly, Kevin Nash chases Triple H to the back with a sledgehammer. We cut away from the match now and follow Nash’s chase of Hunter to the back, and then return to Flair alone against the champions. Kane hits him with the chokeslam, then RVD finishes it with the Five Star Frogsplash. Pretty fun match here, nice to see all four guys giving it their all. **3/4

Backstage: Triple H gets into his limo in the parking lot, and Nash smashes the back window with the hammer before it drives off.

Christopher Nowinski & Rico vs. Scott Steiner & Test w/ Stacy Keibler)
Sloppy, bad match. Thank god I looked down for a second and it was over. Post-Match: Scott Steiner & Stacy share a hug after the match and Test is PISSED! Test drags Stacy to the back. Steiner celebrates and La Resistance comes out. They show footage of Scott dissing France, and say that an American would respond with aggression, but as the French, they are above that. They want to come have a talk, but then jump Steiner and lay him out. I HATE MY LIFE!

Backstage: Booker walks up to Goldberg. He says Christian and his guys only speak for themselves, and once you earn your keep in WWE, it's all good. Booker officially welcomes him to the WWE, and says he's going to go welcome Christian to his boot.

Booker T vs. Christian
Lol @ Lawler talking shit about the Rock now that he’s left again. Neither man getting the advantage to start so Booker works a headlock and overpowers Christian, Booker connects with a clothesline which sets up the back kick. Backdrop out of the corner gets two. Christian necksnaps him and they brawl out, where Christian throws him into the stairs. Back in, Christian chokes away in the corner, but Booker fights back. Out of nowhere Christian gets a dropkick for two and hits the chinlock. Booker fights out and gets a backdrop, and he makes the comeback with a clothesline and sideslam that gets two. Axe kick misses, but Booker connects with a spinebuster for two. Christian tries the Unprettier, but Booker axe kicks him and SPIN-A-ROONIE and 3 Minute Warning runs in for the no-contest. But Goldberg saves and jackhammers Jamal. Christian dumps him, but Goldberg spears Rosie through the barricade.

No Disqualification Match: Trish Stratus vs. Eric Bischoff
Trish kicks him in the head. Victoria runs in, but its no-DQ, so the match continues. Trish fights her off, but now Jazz attacks and tosses her for some beatings. Back in, Eric calls her off because he wants her to stay conscious. He makes more lewd remarks and gets the pin. Post-Match: Bischoff says that Trish has bitten off a little more than she could choose. But the camera cuts backstage as a limousine arrives and LINDA MCMAHON steps out and makes her way to the ring. Bischoff chances his tune and demands that the referees help Trish up and to BE CAREFUL!

Linda McMahon says she's here to speak on behalf of the board of directors of the WWE. And is here to addresses the RAW General Manager, and since he likes do conduct his business in public too. She calls him out to the ring. Bischoff tries to suck up, telling Linda McMahon how beautiful she looks lately and that he wasn't serious about the stipulations in his match with Trish Stratus. Bischoff says that he's much more interested in a "mature" woman. Linda tells Bischoff that he's just too charming, Linda then says that Bischoff is making her job here tonight very easy. She says his actions this past month have been unprofessional and boarding egomaniacal and some members of the board don't think Bischoff is fit to be GM of RAW. Linda says that starting in the morning, Bischoff will share the GM duties 50/50 with someone. Linda introduces the new General Manager of RAW....... STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stone Cold offers to shake Bischoff's hand, Bischoff hesitates saying he doesn't know if he can trust Stone Cold. Bischoff says he wants this to work so he reluctantly shakes Steve Austin's hand. Stone Cold says that his job doesn't start till tomorrow, and STUNS Bischoff to end the show.

 

[Crippler]

WWE Smackdown 05/01/2003

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar
WWE Tag Team Champions: Team Angle
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Matt Hardy

Los Guerrero’s vs. Matt Hardy & Shannon Moore (w/Crash Holly)
The Guerrero’s come out with the tag titles, ‘cause you know they stole them after the match against Team Angle at Backlash. If you’re not cheating, you aren’t tryin. Mattitude.com “Have you read Matt's new book, Matt Hardy invented Mattitude†The Guerrero’s go after Moore to start and work the leg, including a double legbar takedown. Eddie hammers him down with a forearm and stays on the leg, but a cheap shot from Crash allows Matt to come in and chokes away, full-nelson is applied but Eddie suplexes out and makes the tag to Chavo. BUT WAIT! The ref was distracted so the tag doesn’t count. Moore and Matt begin would cheap tactics, but at one point Eddie hits a double-dropkick. And Chavo has HAD ENOUGH after another false tag and he hits Crash with a pescado, as Eddie makes his own comeback. Flying headscissors gets two on Matt. Rolling vertical suplexes are broken up by Moore, Moore and Matt hit a double-team neckbreaker for two. But Chavo clocks Matt with one of the tag belt, and the frog splash finishes him off for the win. Post-Match: Moore and Crash attacks Los Guerrero’s, but the Guerrero’s throw them out of the ring. Team Angle runs down and tries to sneak attack but Los Guerrero’s fight them off too. **1/2

Backstage: Josh asks Stephanie who Mr. America really is. Stephanie says she signed Mr. America without meeting him, so she doesn't know who he is Stephanie says she is going to find out who it is right now, Team Angle comes in and demands Stephanie do something about Los Guerrero’s. Stephanie says that Los Guerrero’s will return the belts by the end of the night. Stephanie also announces that Team Angle will face Los Guerrero’s in a ladder match at Judgement Day Stephanie enters Mr. America's dressing room, they show a recap of the Big Show brutally assaulting Rey Mysterio at Backlash and Stephanie comes out of Mr. America's dressing room with a very shocked and worried look on her face.

The Big Show comes down to the ring and gets on the mic, he says everybody has been telling him to "pick on somebody your own size" and then he goes on to states that nobody is "his size" so he's picked his opponent for tonight. Big Show says that he's bigger than Rey Mysterio, suddenly Funaki's music hits and out comes Funaki.

The Big Show vs. Funaki
RIP!

Backstage: Stephanie is sitting in her office, still upset after coming out of Mr. America’s room. A crew member comes in and informs Stephanie that Vince McMahon is on his way.

Backstage: Show is walking I think back to the dressing room but it also could be towards catering. Anyway DeMott, Tajiri, Nidia, Noble give him the stare of death. But A-Train says what he did was great.

[video=youtube;ahU4hBKqlOY]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahU4hBKqlOY[/video]​

Chris Benoit vs. Johnny Stamboli (w/FBI)
Poor Benoit, it was only 4 month ago he put on a classic with Angle, hell it was only 2 months ago he and Rhyno was BOSSIN’ it up as a tag team. But now he misses the Backlash PPV and now he is feuding with these FUCKS! I HATE MY LIFE. Benoit starts chopping and elbows Stamboli down, and then heads out and nails Chuck for good measure. The FBI regroups, and Benoit catches Johnny coming back in and chops again. Nunzio trips him up, but he heads out and goes after Chuck again. Back in, he gets caught by a Stamboli elbow and he begins to stomps away in the corner. Benoit reverses a press slam into the crossface, but Stamboli makes the ropes. He drops some elbows for two and goes to a surfboard. Sideslam is reversed to a backslide for two, however. Back to the elbows, but Stamboli charges and runs into Benoit’s elbow, allowing him to make the comeback. Snap suplex gets two. German suplex and he heads up after fighting off the FBI, and the flying headbutt draws Nunzio into the ring with a chair. Rhyno runs in and takes out Nunzio, so the ref makes it a tag match.

Chris Benoit & Rhyno vs. Chuck Palumbo & Johnny Stamboli (w/Nunzio)
UGH?! Not only is Benoit forced into this shitfeast but they got Rhyno, I HATE EVERYONE! We pick things up with Rhyno beating on Chuck, but he gets caught in the FBI corner and Stamboli comes in. Rhyno clotheslines him and hammers away in the corner, and a belly-to-belly gets two. Chuck superkicks Rhyno and Stamboli gets two. They work Rhyno’s back over in the, and Palumbo gets a backdrop suplex for two. He pounds on Rhyno outside and Stamboli gets two in the ring. He applies the bearhug and that goes on for a while. Palumbo gets a cheapshot to prevent a comeback, and he slugs away. Rhyno catches him with a SPINEBUSTER, and makes the hot tag to Benoit. Rolling Germans for Chuck, but he blocks with the ropes and Benoit cradles him instead and gets two, as the ref goes down due to being brushed by Stamboli. Nunzio pushes them over and Chuck gets a really weak pin. FUCK YOU!

In the parking lot: Stephanie is on the phone and leaves a message for Vince saying the show's running fine and she can just meet him back at the hotel. Brock Lesnar shows up as she hangs up. She says he had the night off, but Brock says he has something to take care of.

Brock Lesnar comes down to the ring, and he gets on the mic. He gives credit to John Cena for giving him "one hell of a fight" at Backlash. But says that something else happened at Backlash that really disturbed him. Brock says that what Big Show did to Rey Mysterio was completely gutless, He calls Show out to bring his big giant slobbery ass out here to try and bully Brock Lesnar, and Big Show comes out. He says he'll only do this if Brock puts his belt on the line, and Brock says to come and get it. Show also says he picks the time and place, and he already had a match. Brock challenges him right now, and Show says he's on, but not tonight.

Team Angle vs. John Walters & Eric Stevens
Team Angle comes out with the big Kurt Angle portrait with Gold Medals hanging off of them. Total Squash for Team Angle here. Post-Match: Haas gets on the mic and demands Los Guerrero’s come and take back their titles. Los Guerrero’s come out with the title, and get into the ring. They apologize and hand the belts back and leave. Team Angle celebrate in the ring, and on the ramp, Chavo has the mic and says they might not be tag champions, but they are Olympic gold medallists! Team Angle realizes Los Guerrero’s stole Kurt Angle's Gold Medals off of the portrait.

Backstage: Torrie Wilson says that she doesn't want to team with Sable tonight, but Sable says that Stephanie McMahon made the match, and she thinks they can be great partners. She then tells Torrie that last week was only a taste of what she can do when she doesn't get what she wants. Sable hopes they get along tonight because they play for the same team.

Torrie Wilson & Sable vs. Dawn Marie & Nidia (w/Jamie Noble)
Torrie wrestles most of the match, then crawls to her corner but Sable refuses to tag. At one point Sable gets off the apron and walks away from Torrie.

In the parking lot: Stephanie is on the phone leaving a message for Vince to meet her at the hotel for dinner. Vince shows up in a limo and says he can't wait to miss this Mr. America, as Stephanie keeps saying she signed him sight unseen, and he congratulates her and walks off.

Piper and O'Haire come out to the Piper's Pit Piper says he saw Raw, and says Jericho called him fat, which he did. He says he's seen Jericho wrestle, talk, and sing, and says he'll call Jericho when he loses weight, and when Jericho gets talent, he'll call him. Piper says when he heard about Mr. America, he knew he should debut on Piper's Pit! Suddenly, "Real American" plays on the speakers and out comes Mr. America! Piper says that America is the land of the free, not the land of the stupidity. He says that this is NOT Mr. America, and knows for a fact that it's Hulk Hogan! Mr. America responds with, "LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, BROTHER! THAT'S THE MOST RIDICULOUS THING I'VE EVER HEARD, DUDE!" Mr. America says that he is freedom, justice, and liberty for all and he stands for what makes this country great. Mr. America says that he is NOT HULK HOGAN. Suddenly, Vince McMahon comes out to the ring AND HE IS PISSED! Vince says he suspended Hulk Hogan in definitely and orders he go home now he tells Hulk Hogan that he's going to send him home again. Vince McMahon says he'll send Hulk Hogan with a lawsuit because he breached his contract but Mr. America says it sounds like Hulk Hogan gave Vince a serious case of brain damage at Wrestlemania. And once again he says that he is NOT HULK HOGAN, he is MR AMERICA! Vince changes his mind and states that this isn't Hulk Hogan, it really is Mr. America. Vince assumes that Mr. America signed a WWE contract and tells Mr. America to read his lips. YOU'RE FIRED! Mr. America says that he signed an iron-clad contract with Stephanie McMahon. So there isn't a damn thing Vince McMahon can do about it. VINCE IS PISSED! And says that they are going to rip the mask off of Mr. America's face. Mr. America asks Vince "Whatcha gonna do when the 24 Patriots run wild on you? Sean O'Haire attacks Mr. America, but he fights back and lays out Vince McMahon. Mr. America gets an American flag and waves it on his way out with confetti falling from the sky.

 

[Crippler]

WWE Raw 05/05/2003

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam & Kane
WWE Women's Champion: Jazz

Stone Cold Steve Austin comes down to the ring and gets on the mic, I should mention he has a metal briefcase in hand. He thanks Linda McMahon for calling him and asking him to be Co-General Manager. Austin says he's going to celebrate with a Stone Cold Beer Bash later tonight, he then pulls the Intercontinental title belt out of the briefcase and reinstates it I LOVE THIS GUY! Austin announces a battle royal at Judgement Day for the Intercontinental title. Suddenly, Eric Bischoff & Sean Morley make their way to the ring to chants of "ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE!" Eric Bischoff tells Austin he cannot do things without consulting him first and Austin says that he thought it was a no-brainer so he went ahead and did it anyway. Eric says that he was the one who abolished the Intercontinental title in the first place and that he is going to prove that he can be a team player and accepts the IC title. Eric then tries to one-up him and announces Triple H vs. Kevin Nash for the World title at Judgement Day. Austin says that he likes that and doesn't have a problem with that Austin then announces that he rehired his "best buddy in the business", Jim Ross. FUCK YEAH! Jim Ross then comes out and joins them in the ring. He flips off Eric Bischoff so Eric then fires JR again, Austin hires, fired, hired, fired, hired, fired, hired Austin says that he's trying very hard to maintain his composure but suggests they settle it like men, with a match, Stone Cold vs. Eric Bischoff. Austin says if Stone Cold wins, JR stays, if Bischoff wins, JR goes. Eric says he likes it, but doesn't think Linda McMahon would like it. Sean Morley then suggests they pick representatives to fight in their places, Morley volunteers to wrestle on Eric Bischoff's behalf and says that Jim Ross should have to wrestle for his own job. Austin says that JR is not a wrestler and will not wrestle tonight. He then thinks about who could wrestle in Jim Ross's place tonight so Jerry Lawler stands up and asks Steve to pick him! "Pick me! Pick me Steve!"

Jerry Lawler (w/Steve Austin & Jim Ross) vs. Chief Morley (w/ Eric Bischoff)
I HATE MY LIFE!

After the commercial, The Coach congratulates Jim Ross on getting his job back. Austin says they will go with a three-man announcing crew and shakes all their hands. He then says he changes his mind, he only wants TWO! STUNNER TO COACH.

Backstage: Eric Bischoff fires Sean Morley for embarrassing him, stating that he's worthless. Sean walks away but bumps into Austin. Morley complains and says Austin just wanted to add his approval of the firing, so Austin takes Sean Morley to see Eric Bischoff and asks why he fired him. Austin says Bischoff has to talk to him before firing the Chief of Staff. Sean proclaims that he is STILL the Chief of Staff, Steve Austin tells him his fired. FUCK YEAH!

Backstage: Scott Steiner & Test fight over a mirror to look at themselves.

Rob Van Dam & Kane vs. Scott Steiner & Test (w/ Stacy Keibler)
Super sloppy and unentertaining throughout, the tag champs pretty much felt like filler to advance the Scotty, Stacy, Test angle that is pretty funny and not in a good way.

Backstage: Stone Cold Steve Austin is hanging a picture of himself in the General Manager's office when Eric Bischoff asks Steve Austin why there is all this beer in the office, he then goes on to say there isn't enough room for second desk in the office. Austin starts rearranging the furniture in the room making a mess. Austin then says that Bischoff is not invited to the beer bash later

[video=dailymotion;x17e7dl]http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x17e7dl_wwe-raw-05-05-2003-raw-chris-jericho-highlight-reel-with-kevin-nash-triple-h-brawl_sport[/video]​

Stone Cold Steve Austin is talking to Chris Jericho who brags about setting up the attack, so Austin puts him in a match with Nash next week.

Booker T vs. Lance Storm
Storm goes for the cheap face heat with the flag. He goes to the eyes to start and tries hammering away, but Booker starts chopping. Rollup is reversed by Storm to the Sharpshooter, drawing a HUGE face pop. Booker comes back with the spinebuster for two. Booker makes the comeback with forearms, but the axe kick misses. A side kick allows a Spinaroonie, which allows Storm to sneak in with a superkick for two. Booker flapjacks him and finishes with the axe kick for the win. *3/4

Backstage: La Resistance says that Stacy's team really dropped the ball tonight, but they then proposes that Stacy become the manager.

La Resistance vs. Tommy Dreamer & Spike Dudley
FUCK OFF!

Backstage: Terri interviews Christian who calls himself the new people's champion, Terri then shows Christian the new WWE magazine featuring Goldberg on the cover. Christian says that tonight is Christian's night, and says he'll avenge the Rock's loss at Backlash. He also says Goldberg will be starting a new streak, a LOSING STREAK!

WWE Women’s Championship: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz (w/Teddy Long & Rodney Mack)
The first 3 minutes were solid, but nothing we haven’t seen already. The match would end when Teddy Long takes off his shoe and tries to hit Trish, but instead he trips on the apron Suddenly, Victoria runs down and tries to get involved but the referee holds her back. This allows Rodney Mack to run in and nail Trish with the Woman’s championship and Jazz covers for the win. *

Goldberg vs. Christian
Three Minute Warning & Rico interrupt beforehand saying they want their revenge before Christian. Goldberg takes out 3-Minute Warning, as well as Rico, who gets a pair Jackhammers. Christin jumps in the ring, and nails Goldberg with a chair shot before escaping through the crowd. Suddenly, Stone Cold Steve Austin's music hits, and Austin comes to the ring for his beer bash.

Stone Cold Steve Austin says he's got some beer to drink, and asks if Goldberg has a problem with it. Goldberg says that he does, in fact, have a problem with it. Austin grants Goldberg a no-DQ Steel Cage match against Christian next week. Austin drinks about four beer, and then offers a pair to Goldberg and he begins to drink it, a bunch of local extras also surrounded the ring and handed the drinks in to the drunken bald guys. Austin gets completely wasted and pretends to swim through the puddles of beer in the ring

 

[Crippler]

WWE Smackdown 05/08/2003
Halifax, Nova Scotia

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar
WWE Tag Team Champions: Team Angle
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Matt Hardy

Vince McMahon comes out and says that he'll present Hulk Hogan on Smackdown! via Satellite from Tampa, Florida and since Hulk Hogan won't be here, then Mr. America obviously won't be there either. Vince says that the whole damn world knows that Mr. America is really Hulk Hogan, even "you Canadians" The fans chant "You Screwed Bret" at Vince, who says he did, and will screw everybody else if had to Vince McMahon says that his daughter Stephanie McMahon was the one who hired Mr. America in the first place, He calls of Stephanie and yells at the production guy to turn her music off. Vince asks Stephanie how, and why, she signed Mr. America to a contract. Stephanie says that she did what she thought was right for the Smackdown! Fans and she wanted Mr. America, and she got him. Vince says that she didn't consult with him and wants to know the terms and conditions of the contract. Stephanie said she offered Mr. America a very unique contract to counter Eric Bischoff's offers, the contract stated that Mr. America can't be fired or suspended (Does this woman not know how to do business or what) Vince asks Stephanie how he can get out of this contract. Stephanie says that only way is if Vince can somehow prove that it is Hulk Hogan under the mask, Vince excuses Stephanie, telling her that she better come up with some really good ideas to get out of this. The crowd chants "Asshole!" at Vince, who says that coming from a bunch of Canadians, he considers that a compliment.

Vince McMahon introduces Hulk Hogan on the big screen via satellite from his home in Tampa, Florida. He asks Hulk Hogan why he risked his financial security by showing up on Smackdown! As Mr. America last week and Hulk Hogan says he doesn't know what Vince is talking about, he doesn't like sitting around the house collecting a pay checks. Hulk says that he would rather go out and entertain the Hulkamaniacs but instead he's dying sitting around at home he'll return to action some day and team up with Mr. America Hulk says that he can't wait to see Mr. America kick Vince McMahon's ass, and he hopes to meet Mr. America some day and shake his hand. Hulk says there may be a few similarities but his arms are bigger and he's better looking. Vince asks the crowd if they want to see Mr. America right here tonight in Halifax, Nova Scotia then asks Hulk about the chances of Mr. America showing up in Halifax. Hulk says that there's a good chance Mr. America appears on Smackdown! Tonight, and Vince says the next time he sees him, he's ripping his mask off.

Backstage: One of the crew members tell Vince that Mr. America is in the building, He assumes it's a joke and yells at the crew member to get out.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Matt Hardy (w/Shannon Moore & Crash Holly)
Mattitude.com “Matt hates waking up before noon, Matt eats slowly to savour his food†Eddie takes him down with a headlock and they work off that, Matt charges and hits elbow but Eddie messes up hip toss out of the corner, which even editing can’t save. He gets two, but Matt slingshots him into the corner and pounds away. Eddie fights back, but walks into the Side Effect. Another one and Matt goes to a surfboard, but Eddie reverses to a sleeper. Matt sideslams him for two and connects with a snap Suplex for two. Matt goes up but gets brought down with a rana by Eddie. He slugs away and clotheslines him a couple of times to set up the rolling suplexes. Eddie heads up for the frog splash, but misses, and Matt rolls him up for two. Twist of Fate is countered, but Matt nails him with a legdrop for two. Ricochet is reversed by Eddie to a cradle for the pin for the win. Post-Match: Team Angle runs down, and attack Team Angle to get the gold medals back. **1/2 - **3/4

Backstage: The FBI & The Big Show are talking when Mr. America walks past.

Brian “Spanky†Kendrick vs. Jamie Noble (w/Nidia)
Noble grabs a headlock to start and they work with some cool reversals and Spanky headscissors him into the corner. He heads out to the apron, but gets necksnapped to the floor and Nidia adds a cheapshot. Back in, Noble gets a backdrop driver for two. Legdrop gets two. Noble neckvices him, Noble counters a crucifix into a slam and half-crab. Spanky catches an inside cradle, but Noble clotheslines him down again. Short-arm clothesline, but Spanky makes the comeback, only to get cut off again. Noble starts chopping but Spanky hits with a pair of high kicks and counters a German suplex with an enzuigiri for two. Noble catches a quick powerslam for two. Noble puts him on top but can’t get the superplex, and Spanky finishes with Sliced Bread #2 for the win. **3/4

Backstage: Cena is watching, and Mr. America arrives behind him. lol @ Cena’s face

Footage of the Show attempting to kill Rey, OH SHIT! Rey is back NEXT WEEK!

Backstage: Josh Mathews interviews Brock Lesnar, wanting to get his thoughts on Benoit & Lesnar v. Show & Train TONIGHT! Brock Lesnar says he & Benoit will handle it tonight, but he makes the title match at Judgment Day into a Stretcher Match, and guarantees Big Show will leave on a stretcher.

Backstage: Funaki says that he's going to watch Mr. America in the ring right now, and Vince says that that is an imposter Mr. America walking around backstage. Vince then teaches Funaki how to pour coffee and tells Funaki that he's done something constructive today so he can take off. Vince McMahon comments that the coffee isn't bad for Canadian coffee, I love this guy.

Mr. America comes out to the ring as Vince & Stephanie watch from their office backstage (I should mention the camera work is zoomed out so much that this is hilarious, they are clearly playing up to the “is it, or isn’t itâ€) The crowd chants "Hogan! Hogan! Hogan!" and we get one of those ridiculous long ovations. Backstage, Vince McMahon has his face glued to a TV trying to see who Mr. America is: lmao Mr. America starts to speak, and Vince McMahon is NOW! Convinced that it IS Hulk Hogan. Mr. America tells the crowd that he is NOT Hulk Hogan as the crowd begins to chants "Hogan! Hogan! Hogan!" Mr. America says that he used to be a 165lbs accountant when he decided to buy Wrestlemania and that was when he saw Hulk Hogan in Skydome and was inspired to become a wrestler. THIS IS FUCKIN’ AWESOME! Mr. America says that’s when he quit his job and he started training, taking his vitamins, and saying his prayers. Mr. America thanks Hulk Hogan, who is sitting at home right now. Suddenly, Vince McMahon comes down to the ring and he is PISSED! He paces around the ring ranting on about Hulk Hogan and Mr. America, Vince says that he is going to rip the mask off of Mr. America's face but then changes his mind and says that Steph is going to do it. Stephanie comes out not looking too happy and that allows Vince to attacks Mr. America and goes after the mask and nearly gets it off. Stephanie refused to help her father rip the mask off, so Mr. America shoves Vince off, and Vince flies off and lands right on Stephanie. Mr. America gets up and punches Vince then picks Stephanie up and carries her to the back.

Backstage: Vince McMahon finds Stephanie getting medical attention and vows to find Mr. America, Vince asks Stephanie what Mr. America did to hurt her Was Vince not in the ring. Stephanie states that Mr. America didn't hurt her, Vince did.

Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie
Sable comes out to sit ringside in this outfit, JESUS! This match sucked but Torrie was in it wearing pink so all is forgiven. Post-Match: Sable congratulates Torrie and challenges her to a bikini contest at Judgment Day.

Team Angle vs. Tajiri & Rikishi
Rikish is in that too fat so I wrestle with a t-shirt on now state, oh great he and Rikishi and Haas start, with both men battling over wristlocks but Rikishi wins that battle and levels him with a shoulderblock that sends him out of the ring. Benjamin comes in and avoids a buttdrop, but Haas isn’t so lucky, and Rikishi gets two. Tajiri ducks a high kick from Benjamin but Tajiri comes back with one of his own, and hits him with a leg lariat for two. A cheap shot from Team Angle turns the tide, and Haas comes in and suplexes him out of the corner for two. Tajiri superkicks him and makes the hot tag to Rikishi, who clotheslines both of the champs and Samoan drops Haas. Belly-to-belly for Benjamin sets up a corner splash on both guys and the Stinkface on Shelton. He goes low to escape it, and tags out where Tajiri gets the handspring on Haas and another one to knock Benjamin off the apron, setting up a Tarantula on Haas. Haas gets out and Team Angle connect with the superkick-roll up on Tajiri for the win. Post-Match: Team Angle celebrates, but Los Guerrero’s run down. They steal the Kurt Angle painting and the medals, they leave through the crowd. **1/2

John Cena vs. Rhyno
Brian “Spanky†Kendrick is on commentary for this. Cena cuts a RAP! Before the match; talking about ripping his crotch off then saying he’s gonna beat his ass so sore is gonna be like he did a prison tour. The crowd is all over this, it’s pretty damn good. Rhyno connects with the running shoulder spears in the corner right off and pounds him down, before kicking him out of the ring. Back in, Cena gets two and hits a quick Suplex for two. Cena goes to a surfboard, but Rhyno powers out and makes the comeback with clotheslines and shoulderblocks that gets two. Cena hits the Broken Record for two, he goes for another move but Rhyno counters with a spinebuster. Cena crawls to the corner and tries to pick up the steel chain but Spanky prevents it, and Rhyno schoolboys him for the win. Post-Match: Cena chases Spanky, and Rhyno attacks Cena on the floor. He tries the Gore, but Cena dodges and shoves him knee-first into the steps. **

Backstage: Nunzio gets in Brock about not showing any respect. He attacks Brock and Brock chases him. Nunzio ducks around a corner, and Brock goes into a door looking for him. Nunzio and Chuck barricade the door and Stamboli runs a forklift into it, blocking the door. Show and Train shake their hands, and Show says he now has a match with Benoit next. He has a stretcher board with him, and it has Mysterio, Benoit, and Lesnar listed on it, with Rey crossed off.

Chris Benoit vs. The Big Show (w/A-Train)
DAMN YOU WWE I SO WANTED Benoit/Brock vs. Show/Train Benoit goes face to face with show but Show face palms him down but Benoit his a quick chop but Show kills him with one of his own. He picks Benoit up but Benoit comes back with more chops and even a dropkick to the knee but Benoit makes the mistake of coming running in and Show catches him with a sidewalk slam for two. He picks Benoit up and absolutely kills him with a whip into the corner sending Benoit sternum first, he does it again. Show now begins to stand on his mid-sections and Benoit rolls out as Train beats on him. Back in and Show connects with a fuckin’ delayed suplex before trash talking some more. Show stops on him again and decides to headbutt him down. But wait Benoit tries to fight back but gets caught in a bearhug that looks AWSOME! But Benoit bites his not and again gets caught by a show elbow. Show tries a legdrop but misses and that allows Benoit to head up top, Diving Headbutt with show on his feet that only gets a two count and Benoit keeps on him with boots, Show would simply push him off with one hand and tries a the chokeslam but counter into the Crossface. A-Train tries to interference but Benoit dropkicks the stretcher into him and goes right back to work with the Crossface. But Show won’t go down instead he powers out and kills him with a chokeslam for the win. Post-Match: A-Train kills him with a Bicycle kick but Show isn’t done as he chokeslams him again. They put Benoit on the stretcher, but Brock Lesnar runs down to save, he hits A-Train with the F5. He gets up though, and Big Show hits the Chokeslam to end the show.

 

[Crippler]

WWE Raw 05/12/2003
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam & Kane
WWE Women's Champion: Jazz

Raw starts off immediately with Christian inside the ring on the mic with the cage down. He says that nobody wants to see him, “the NEW People's Champion†be brutalized in a cage and this is wrong because he has a photoshoot tomorrow and the photographer would not be happy if he showed up with marks on his face. But CO-GM Stone Cold Steve Austin comes down to the ring he says there ain't nothing like the good old fear of a steel cage. Austin then says that Goldberg isn't even here yet, and the match is scheduled for later. Christian said he was backstage and Stone Cold told him he was on first. Stone Cold corrects him saying that he was actually giving Christian the middle finger Christian says that Stone Cold is jealous because the Rock named him his favourite wrestler, and it isn't his fault that the Rock beat Stone Cold at Wrestlemania. Stone Cold talks about Christian's participation in the Intercontinental Battle Royal. But Rob Van Dam's music hits and he comes down to the ring. RVD says he planned on entering the IC Battle Royal and walking out with the belt. Christian tells RVD to prove his greatness by taking on Goldberg in the steel cage tonight Austin the does the “Do you wanna see Christian vs. Goldberg in a Steel Cage tonight, gimme a HELL YEAH!†HELL YEAH! Christian’s comeback was “If You wanna see RVD and Austin get off my back and give me the night off, gimme a CHRISTIAN RULES†BOOOOOOOO Austin tells Christian to leave the ring or get a Stone Cold Stunner, Suddenly Kane comes down to the ring and Kane says that not even RVD will stop him from winning the IC title back again. RVD says he'll find a way to throw Kane over the top rope too, Austin then interrupts and says that he's gonna have another beer bash right now But Bischoff comes out and says that they need to get some control in this situation. He says that Stone Cold can go ahead and catch a few cold ones after the show, he also vowed to raise the bar tonight, and directs his attention to Kane & RVD. Eric announces that Kane & RVD will defend the tag team titles against one of the greatest tag teams of all time tonight. Eric introduces the team, THE LEGION OF DOOM!

WWE World Tag Team Championships: Rob Van Dam & Kane vs. The Legion of Doom
Pretty poor 4 minutes match, Doom is clearly past their prime at this point. But to be fair I would much rather watch them do the same old spots than have to watch Scotty & Test, FBI and the French Fucks. MEH! The match ends when Legion of Doom goes for the doomsday device, but RVD ducks and Kane comes in and chokeslams Hawk, and RVD follows up with the frog splash for the win.*3/4

Backstage: Victoria and Stevie taunt Trish about how Victoria will take something from her tonight that, unlike the Women's Title, she can't just win back, when she carves up her face in a Hardcore Rules match and destroys her good looks.

Backstage: Triple H says that this is one of the most famous arenas in the country, and this is the place that Kevin Nash tore is quad a year ago. Chris Jericho points out that Kevin Nash is wrestling the man who tore Triple H's quad Triple H said that tearing his quad, catapulted Chris Jericho to winning the Undisputed title and that if Jericho tore Kevin Nash's quad, he would be world famous. Chris Jericho suggests the main event at Judgment Day would be different then.

Goldberg opens his limo door and he sits inside while on the phone. A white car runs past and runs his limo door off, aiming for him and drives off. Goldberg runs out PISSED! Yelling at them.

Backstage: Teddy Long talks to Stone Cold about putting Rodney Mack into the IC Title Battle Royal, Long says that Stone Cold has an opportunity to give a man of colour a break. And Austin says he's feeling what Teddy Long is saying and decides that Booker T will be in the Battle Royal. Long is upset, but his music plays and they have to go to the ring.

5 Minute Double White Boy Challenge: Rodney Mack vs. The Phoenix Brothers
One of the Phoenix brothers is that piece of shit Kenny Dykstra, thankfully this was a squash.

Backstage: Coach tries to ask Bischoff about the Goldberg attempted run-down, but Bischoff says "No Comment" Eric Bischoff then runs into Freddy Blassie who is promoting his book. Eric says he knows he's supposed to plug Freddie's book, but his former Chief of Staff made that deal, not him. Rico comes in and asks Eric Bischoff to do something to get 3-Minute Warning motivated and asks if he has any ideas. Bischoff looks at Blassie, and says he has an idea. OH SHIT! Bischoff tells him to meet me inside as quickly as possible, and Blassie says “What're you gonna do, hang yourself?†HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Backstage: Stone Cold Steve Austin asks Goldberg what was up with that car and Goldberg says that was too damn close. Austin asks if Goldberg saw the driver Goldberg says no, but he'll take it out on Christian later in the steel cage.

Bischoff comes out, and he brings Blassie out onto the stage.
Bischoff asks for a big round of applause for Freddie Blassie and says talks about Freddie's new book, "Listen Here You Pencil Neck Geeks", released tomorrow. Bischoff says Fred Blassie has been around a long time, but isn't sure how much longer he'll be around. He might only be around for about "THREE more minutes" Bischoff wheels Freddie down to the ring, where Three-Minute Warning and Rico are waiting. Suddenly, Austin comes down and wheeled Freddie out of harm’s way he says that he has reinstated a couple of Eric Bischoff's suspended guys, The Dudley Boyz return and run down to the ring and brawl with 3-Minute Warning, they hit the “wassup†on Jamal and then turn their attention to Rico. But Austin stops them and says Classy Freddie Blassie has something to say "GET THE TABLES" The Dudleyz go on to put Rico through the table with the 3D, Austin comes in and shares some beers with the Dudley Boyz.

Christian gets into the cage with a used and dented chair, and he says this is the same chair Rock used on Goldberg three weeks ago, and calls it The People's Chair.

Steel Cage Match: Christian vs. Goldberg
Goldberg debuts the scare face attire here, Christian tries poking Goldberg with the chair but loses it so be tries to climb over the top but Goldberg catches his leg and throws him back in, knees by Goldberg and snaps off a butterfly suplex he tries to run again but Goldberg is all over him killing him with elbows. Christian tries to get out the door but Goldberg catches his leg and drags him back in, Christian now has a hold of the chair and miss a chair attempt but kicks Goldberg in the balls followed by a clothesline. Chair in the hands of Christian now, and he nails Goldberg clean with it 3 more chair shots and now with the edge of the chair just killing him with it, cover gets a two. So Christian hits him in the mid-section with it before choking him. Christian makes the mistake of taunting him and trying to climb the cage so Goldberg catches him by the ankle and brings him back down. Christian would get a hold of the chair again and hits him in the mid-section again before hitting a neckbreaker. Christian again taunts him by setting up the spear but Goldberg sidesteps it and Christian dies going headfirst into the cage. Christian is now busted open, and that allows Goldberg to slowly beat on him by throwing him into the cage twice. He snakes eyes Christian into the cage then slams him into the mat which looked AWESOME! SPEAR KILLS CHRISTIAN and the Jackhammer ends it. ***

Backstage: Ric Flair congratulates Steve Austin on his new position on RAW, and talks about how Triple H runs the show so Austin should talk to him about his decision. The Hurricane jumps in and says Kevin Nash will beat Triple H and turn him into Triple Beotch tonight. Ric Flair get upset and yells at the Hurricane, so Austin him to shut up and makes Ric Flair vs. Hurricane starting right now.

Ric Flair vs. The Hurricane
They start the brawl backstage and eventually make their way out to the ring and Hurricane rips Ric Flair's pants, temporarily exposing the Nature Boy's bare ass Flair begins to attack Hurricane's leg and applies the Figure Four, but Hurricane refuses to give up and the ref calls it. Post-Match: Ric Flair refuses to break the submission hold until Triple H walks down and pulls him off. Ric Flair starts strutting around the ring in celebration, so Triple H picks the Hurricane up and gives him the Pedigree. **

La Resistance & Christopher Nowinski vs. Goldust, Test & Scott Steiner (w/Stacy Keibler)
UGH! Poor Goldust stuck with these fuckheads and Stacy, I miss Booker/Goldust so much.

Backstage: Terri interviews Chris Jericho, who says he had nothing to do with the Goldberg incident and if he wanted to take out Goldberg he would do it face-to-face. Jericho then goes on to say he it championship material and he’s gonna take out Big Daddy cool tonight and he will make sure Nash calls him big daddy.

Hardcore Match: Trish Stratus (w/Tommy Dreamer) vs. Victoria (w/Steven Richards)
So this is Round 3 of Trish/Victoria Hardcore rules, Steven comes down with Victoria for the match, but Tommy Dreamer comes out to even it up. RANDOM! Both girls are trading right hands to start but Victoria pulls her hair and Trish counters with a head scissors. Trish goes for a weapon but Victoria sneaks up from behind and tries an electric chair but that gets countered into the sunset flip. HUGE CLOTHESLINE! And Victoria picks up a trash can lid, well Trish kicks it back into her face (well she doesn’t instead she slips on her ass, and Victoria hits her in the head with it) They get it right the second time and now Trish hits her in the head with it, Steven Richards distracts her for a second and that allows Victoria to drop toehold her onto the lid and begins slamming her face into the lid. DVD into the sidewalk slam onto the trash lid by Victoria gets two, Victoria then gets another lid but Trish busts out the matrix move and kicks the lid into her face again for a two count. Punches by Trish but Victoria slams her into the lid off the electric chair position. Victoria picks up a leather strap and begins to whip her with it and now a choke is applied. She begins to use the belt that is around Trish’s neck and begins throwing her around with it. Trish dumps Victoria on her head after a light mishap off the hurricanerana off the top, and now Dreamer and Richards brawl on the outside. Victoria picks up a kendo stick but misses and Trish kicks her twice in the head with it and picks it up and straight up kills her with the stick, she then finishes her off with the Stratusfaction. I really enjoyed this but two big mess ups and got repetitive with the weapons counter into kicks but still really enjoyable. **3/4

Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Nash
Jericho tries to get the jump but that doesn’t work so he tries the quickness game but Nash catches him with a huge elbow and begins to slowly beat on Jericho in the corner before back dropping Jericho down. Nash goes to whip him again but Jericho puts on the breaks and spits on him NASH IS PISSED†And comes charging in but Jericho sidesteps him and pounds away on Nash in the corner, kicking and working away at the quad. Nash shoves him off and Jericho runs into an elbow and a knee lift sends Jericho over the top to the floor. Nash tries to pull him up by the hair but Jericho counters with a choke he head up but Nash catches him and sends him down again. But Jericho again is relentless and goes right back to work on the quad finally getting him down on his back but Nash counters again but Jericho is send flying onto the ring post. Jericho again chops the knee down and wraps the knee around the post and begins to kick away at it. Jericho gets cocky and walks into a sidewalk slam as JR says he thinks Nash’s quads are better than they've ever been Sleeper is applied by Jericho but Nash backs him up to break it and Jericho kicks away at the quad again. Another sidewalk slam by Nash but he’s too slow and Jericho gets to his feet first and begins to kick the quad again. Bulldogg by Jericho and the Lionsault is connected half way across the ring delayed cover gets a two. Jericho begins to argue with the ref and walks into a Nash boot who no-sells all the quad work. Nash sets up for the Jacknife but Flair and Hunter rundown for the 3-1 but Michaels runs down and cleans house until Jericho throws him out and now Nash cleans house, snake eyes to Hunter and clotheslines him out. Jericho gets the jump but Nash fights him off while Shawn connects with SCM and Nash delivers Jacknife to Jericho. Hunter tries a sneak attack but Nash stops that and hits him with the Jacknife as HBK counters the shoulders of Triple H.

 

[Crippler]

WWE Smackdown 05/15/2003
Baltimore, Maryland

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar
WWE Tag Team Champions: Team Angle
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Matt Hardy

Vince McMahon comes down to the ring and gets on the mic. He says there's no doubt that Mr. America is Hulk Hogan, and all the fans know it too he begins to say Mr. America greedy for having two contracts, and what he can't stand is that Mr. America abuses women, like he did last week when he knocked out his daughter Stephanie. He says he's issuing an open contract for anyone to take on Mr. America at Judgment Day, and he'll unmask Hogan once he's beaten. Suddenly, the FBI comes out and introduces themselves as the FBI, not the government, which Vince defeated in the court of law Nunzio says that the Full Blooded Italians specialize in taking guys out and shows a video package called "the FBI's greatest hits", showing everyone they've “whacked†Vince says he's impressed, and they'll talk about it. However, Palumbo has a match, and Stamboli stays out with him as Vince and Nunzio leave.

Rikishi vs. Chuck Palumbo (w/Johnny Stamboli)
I HATE MY LIFE! Palumbo won after hitting his Superkick, Post-Match: Stamboli and Chuck continue to attack Rikishi, but Brock Lesnar hits the ring and F5’s Chuck.

Backstage: Steph puts over Brock then begins to talk about the stretcher match against Show.

Footage airs of Mr. America visiting the troops in the hospital.

Torrie Wilson comes out on the stage and gives the audience a sneak peak at her Bikini that she'll be wearing at Judgment Day. 12/10

Backstage: Stephanie McMahon walks into her office and finds two vases of flowers delivered, red & yellow set and a red & white set with blue ribbon. Vince shows up and says he's glad she's ok and he accepts her apology for signing Mr. America. She said she actually thought he would apologize with the flowers, but these are from Hulk Hogan and Mr. America separately. VINCE IS PISSED! So she tells him she's leaving for the night as it looks like he has everything under control, she leaves and Vince throws the vases against the wall.

Earlier today, Rey Mysterio arrived at the arena.

WWE Cruiserweight Championship: Tajiri vs. Matt Hardy (w/Shannon Moore & Crash Holly)
Mattitude.com “Matt thinks Tajiri weighs too much to be a cruiserweight, Matt eats more sushi than Tajiri†WIN! Arm drag by matt to start and he taunts Tajiri but Tajiri comes back with a necksnap but Matt jumps right on him with punches but Tajiri counters whip with a takedown and kicks Matt in the butt. He then walks the back of Matt and connects with a spinning leg lariat. Tajiri comes charging in on Matt who is in the corner but Matt elevates him over onto the apron but is meet with a Tajiri head kick. Moore holds his leg allowing Matt to connect with a forearm then hits front suplex Tajiri on the top rope and back in the ring. Kick to the midsections, but Tajiri counters a running charge with a forearm but walks right into the side-effect. Matt picks him up and applies the abdominal stretch as we see Crash on the outside reading the Hardy Boyz book. Tajiri gets out and tries a move off the middle rope but Matt catches him and it looks like he tries to go for the Razors Edge but Tajiri slides out and connects with a beautiful kick to the face. Both men are slow to get to their feet but Tajiri comes back a 30 kick, punch combo and hits the handstand springing elbow to Matt, then one to Moore. Springboard kick to matt gets a two. And he again comes in for a charge but Matt counters and Tajiri applies the tarantula. Kick to the face of Crash, and that allows Matt to hit the twist of fate for the win. Post-Match: Matt says he has the Mattributes to take care of Mr. America, but Tajiri wipes out Matt and Moore with an awesome Plancha. ***

Backstage: Mr. America arrives as Steph is leaving. She thanks him for the flowers, and kisses him on the cheek, before saying to also say thank you to Hulk Hogan HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Chris Benoit vs. John Cena
Before the match, Cena cuts a RAP! About how he can take care of Mr. America. And then he makes fun of Benoit about instead on how Benoit is the Canadian Crippler he’s gonna leave him a Crippled Canadian. Hard lockup to start with neither man getting the advantage but Cena cheap shots him so Benoit goes off with chops then a knee to the midsection. Backbreaker on the knee gets two, Benoit then man handles him in the corner with chops and forearms. Benoit takes him to all 4 corners just killing him. Which is AWESOME! But Benoit makes the mistake of turning his back and Cena levels him with clotheslines. Boots to the mid-section, Cena picks him up continues delivers knees to the guy and then out of nowhere he throws him head and shoulder first into the ringpost. Cena gets two count off that then applies armbar as Benoit screams in pain but gets to his feet so Cena pulls him down by his hair and puts the boots to him some more. Cena picks Benoit up and again throws him head and shoulders first into the ringpost, AWESOME! Aggression by Cena here. Cover gets a two by Cena and more boots, before picking him up and hitting the hammerlock into a body slam for two. Benoit counters a Cena whip but Cena gets the boots up and they trade forearms until Benoit starts to throw chops. Snap suplex by Benoit as the FBI come out, Nunzio tries to detract Benoit but Benoit just elbows Cena down but he gets up quickly and knocks him out of the ring as the ref kicks the FBI to the back. I think we are at a commercial but Cena goes out and throws him into the guardrail and back in, side abdominal stretch is applied for a while but Benoit counters out with an arm drag but Cena comes right back with a shoulderblock for two. Hammerlock into the powerslam gets another two, and he jumps right back to the side abdominal stretch. Benoit gets back to his feet but is meet by an elbow for two. Cena puts more boots to the mid=section before going back to work on the arm. Cena then does the most AMAZING THING EVER! He picks Benoit up like he’s about to hit a hiptoss but instead throws Benoit arm ring into the top turnbuckle. He does it a second time but only gets a two count, he tries a third hammerlock scoopslam but Benoit fights out and connects with a sweet dropkick. Benoit rolls across the ring and Cena comes charging in but Benoit counters with a drop toehold into the middle buckle. School boy for two and begins the comeback with back elbows, stiff clotheslines before hitting the German Suplex. CUT THROAT! TAUNT as he heads up top and connects with the diving headbutt but Nunzio runs into the ring but Benoit sees it coming and throws him out, this allows Cena to come up from behind to set him up for the FU but Benoit counters into the Crossface but that bitch Stamboli attacks Benoit for the DQ. Rhyno runs downs and GORES! Him, but Nunzio nails him in his injured leg with a steel chair but out comes Brian “Spanky†Kendrick who kicks the chair into his face. Cena tries to attack him but he counters that into a rana sending Cena out of the ring. ***1/4

AWESOME! Video package of Kurt Angle history in the WWE, and he’ll be returning soon.

Piper and O'Haire come out for Piper's Pit, Roddy says he wants to be the one to unmask Mr. America at Judgment Day to finally get back at Hulk Hogan. Mr America then comes out and hands his American Flag off to a fan in the front row, he says he doesn’t understands why Roddy Piper has a problem with Hulk Hogan. And he would love to kick Roddy Piper's ass just like his idol did in the past. Roddy Piper points out that Hulk Hogan has never beaten him via pinfall Piper gets upset and yells at the fan at ringside waving Mr America's US flag. Mr America says that the kid in the front row is what is so great about the USA. Sean O'Haire decides to get out of the ring to intimidate the fan, Piper attacks Mr America, and Sean O'Haire gets in the ring and join in the assault. Piper tries up rip the mask off of Mr America, until the fan jump in the ring to stop him. Sean O'Haire spears the fan as security tries to pull him out of the ring. Roddy mounts the fan and slap him around and grabs his leg and PULLS IT OFF! NOOOOOO! IT'S FUCKING ZACK GOWAN. Roddy stands there in disbelief holding the artificial leg as Sean O'Haire backs out of the ring! During the commercial, Mr America helps the legless fan to the backstage area still holding the flag.

Backstage: Vince yells at Piper and O'Haire about what just happened, and he says he has to go think about what he's going to do about what he just saw.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Shelton Benjamin
Eddie Guerrero comes out with the stolen medals and picture of Kurt, and Kurt now has an epic Villain moustache drawn on. Tazz says Chavo was injured last week and is not here tonight. YES! Eddie is all over him to start just hitting everything crisp, but Benjamin connects with a powerslam, and a backdrop suplex. Snap suplex gets two. He then applies a chinlock and Benjamin slams him, but Eddie follows with a rana. Benjamin comes back with a powerbomb for two. Eddie dropkicks him and fires off some clotheslines, and pounds away in the corner. Triple vertical suplexes, but Charlie Haas comes down with a ladder, and Benjamin superkicks Eddie for the win. Post-Match: Team Angle tries to use the ladder as a weapon but Eddie dropkicks the ladder into them, he then gets the picture of Angle on the outside and levels Shelton with it. **1/2 - **3/4

Backstage: Vince McMahon says he's known Roddy a long time and knows that he doesn't give a damn about what he did, so he announces that Roddy Piper will face Mr America this Sunday at Judgment Day. I HATE MY LIFE!

Sable comes out on the stage and gives the audience a sneak peak at her Bikini that she'll wear at Judgment Day. 5/10

Rey Mysterio is standing by backstage as Michael Cole interviews him from the announce table, Rey Mysterio says he'll be cleared in a few weeks and can't wait to return to the ring, and that his #1 goal is to become the WWE Cruiserweight champion. Rey Mysterio says that when Big Show assaulted him, he thought he'd never wrestle again and for the first time in his life, he felt scared. Mike Cole asks Rey Mysterio if he'd ever consider getting back into the ring with Big Show, Rey Mysterio takes a deep breath and says he can't answer that right now. Suddenly, the Big Show shows up and grabs Rey by the neck and carry’s him away

The Big Show comes out with Rey on his shoulder, and his stretcher in the other hand. Rey Mysterio kicks the stretcher into Big Show's face, and hits a 619. Rey jumps off the top rope but Big Show catches him and hits a Samoan drop Show lifts Rey up for a massive chokeslam, but Brock Lesnar runs down and spears Big Show. Brock then begins to hit the Big Show several times with the stretcher, before hitting him with the F5. Brock leaves the ring and watches from the stage as Big Show slowly gets to his feet. Out of nowhere Rey Mysterio gets up and surprises Big Show with a bulldog from the top rope.

 

[Crippler]

WWE Judgement Day 2003
Charlotte, NC

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar
WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE Tag Team Champions: Team Angle
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam & Kane
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Matt Hardy
WWE Women's Champion: Jazz

So Raw I mean the PPV opens with Co-GM of Raw Stone Cold Steve Austin coming down to the thing and says he's out here to introduce the show, and he's going to up to the skybox, drink a lot, and enjoy the show. He then walks up to the skybox through the crowd.

Chris Benoit, Rhyno & Brian “Spanky†Kendrick vs. John Cena, Johnny Stamboli & Chuck Palumbo (w/Nunzio)
Before the match Cena cuts a RAP! Highlight line being “You’ll be stuck sleeping with the fishes, getting stuffed like ravioli. I change my name to Corleone like a Godfather flick, your girl like Italian sausage cuz she swallowed my ……†Classic CENA! Benoit, Rhyno and Spanky come out separately, but charge to the ring after meeting up on the ramp as the heels scatter out of the ring prior to the bell. They meet up near the aisle, laughing at Benoit and Rhyno, who are leaning on the ropes, but Spanky uses his partner’s backs to springboard off of and takes down all three men on the outside. They fight outside as the bell rings. Back in, the fight is broken up and Cena beats down Spanky with forearms and boots to the midsection. Spanky fights back with an enziguri but the FBI runs in and flips Spanky into a high double slam variation, Chuck tags in Stamboli. As they double team Spanky by pulling his legs apart, and then Stamboli kicks him repeatedly in the corner. Chuck distracts the ref and Cena begins to choke him on the outside. Chuck tags in and straight up punches Spanky in the face. Chuck begins to stomps Spanky then wraps him in a bearhug. Chucky only gets 2 and goes back to the bearhug. Spanky fights out of the bearhug but walks right into a clothesline. Spanky leaps from the turnbuckle to avoid a charging and connects with a leg scissors to Stamboli. Spanky rolls to his corner and makes the tag to Benoit, who shoves down Palumbo and Snap suplexes Cena. Rhyno leaps at Stamboli and both men fly out of the ring. Benoit clotheslines Chucky and nails Cena with a German Suplex. One to Chuck as well as he heads up top for the Diving Headbutt on Chuck. Nunzio tries to interfere but gets GORED! Rhyno is shoved out of the ring by Chuck, Benoit shoves Chuck out, and Cena whips Benoit to his own corner. Spanky makes the tag by slapping Benoit on the back. Cena clotheslines Benoit to the mat but Spanky knocks Cena down with a flying dropkick to the back. Benoit has Cena in the Crossface. The ref doesn't notice Nunzio's interference on Spanky's attempt of a Sliced Bread #2. Kiss of Death backbreaker/flying legdrop combo on Spanky and Chuck pins him. UGH! Rhyno never officially tagged in and I don’t think Cena did as well, even though he was in for like 30 seconds of the finishing stretch. Anyway, this was like some Smackdown opening match. WHAT A WASTE! **

In the Sky Box, Austin & Eric argue over the room, then over a hotdog and now Beer as Austin calls him a sissy.

La Resistance vs. Scott Steiner & Test (w/Stacy Keibler)
Before the match Resistance, gets on the mic and ask why Americans hate them so much then for some reason I decided to not pay attention I wonder why Dupree and Test start the match, they exchange slaps until Test stomps away at Dupree and tosses him over for a backbody drop. Steiner tags and goes off on Dupree in the corner. He clotheslines Greiner off the apron for trying to interfere. Steiner hits Dupree then Grenier with clotheslines before doing his push-up routine instead of going for the pin. Dupree whips Steiner to the ropes, as Grenier knees him in the back. Dupree takes advantage by hanging Steiner on the ropes. Steiner falls to the outside so Grenier gets a few cheapshots in on Steiner before rolling him back in. Dupree gets a two off that as Grenier tags in and they hit a double suplex for two. Steiner fights out of a chinlock and charges but gets knocked to the canvas with a boot. Flying clothesline only gets two. Steiner blocks a flying axehandle with a suplex, as both men tag out. Test hits clotheslines on Grenier and Dupree. Sidewalk slam on Dupree, he then shoves Dupree in the corner and kills him with a clothesline. In a botched moment Test clotheslines Grenier while Grenier kicks him at the same time Dupree fights out of a pumphandle slam so Test kills Grenier with a clothesline. Full-nelson slam gets 2 after Dupree breaks it up. Dupree takes care of Steiner on the outside as Test runs at Greiner but he pulls the ref in his way. Grenier gets 2 with his feet on the ropes, La Resistance and Test battle as Steiner rolls back in and tosses Grenier with a suplex. Steiner boots Dupree out of the ring. Test gets the Pump-Handle slam but Steiner is too busy. Test argues with the ref but gets dropkicked into Stacy Keibler! Steiner catches her on the outside. Greiner rolls up the distracted Test for 2. Steiner tags in and hits a Flatliner then a clothesline on Grenier. Test accidentally kills Steiner with a boot to the face. They clear out Test then flapjack Steiner to the mat for win. Raw level match, but also just here to kick start the Scotty/Test feud and to give the French guys a win. *3/4

Backstage: MR. America greets random guys backstage until, Ace Reporter Gregory Helms shows up. He says he’s got sources claiming that Mr. America is really Hulk Hogan. America says that his sources tell HIM that Gregory Helms is really the Hurricane! Helms then says that his sources must obviously be wrong and Mr. America is definitely not Hogan…to which Mr. America also retorts that his sources are just as wrong.

Backstage: Josh Matthews asks Eddie Guerrero what he’s going to about the fact that Chavo Guerrero will not be able to compete tonight in the Ladder Match against Team Angle. Eddie says that he went out and found another partner to replace Chavo….Tajiri! Eddie puts one of Angle’s medals around Tajiri’s neck as Tajiri says that “We Lie, We Cheat, We Stealâ€

Ladder Match For The WWE Tag Team Championships: Team Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero & Tajiri
The Team of Eddie and Tajiri, MARK! I also just realized whoever put this matches in order is a FUCKIN’ blueberry! This is the 3rd tag match in a row and it’s a gimmick match. SERIOUSLY! The match starts out with Tajiri going to the ring to face Haas and Eddie takes on Benjamin in the aisle way. Shelton whips Eddie into the ladder, which is in the aisle way as Tajiri takes out Hass in the ring with a spinning wheel kick. He goes for the Pearl Harbor Kick on Hass, but Benjamin comes in and they put the boots to him before nailing a double team back elbow. Eddie gets into the ring and Shelton presses him onto Haas’ knee in a double team gut buster. Team Angle go underneath the ring to retrieve another ladder for some reason and Tajiri attempts a pescado onto Haas. But he doesn’t get high enough in the air and Tajiri gets caught on the ropes and the move is blown badly Eddie tries one of his own onto Benjamin and overshoots him. Shelton doesn’t sell it, Team Angle get the ladder into the ring and set it up to head for the Tag Titles, but Tajiri sneaks in and hits a handspring back elbow into the ladder to knock the ladder and them down. Eddie comes into the ring and sets up the ladder into Haas’ crotch and he and Tajiri baseball slide into it, AWESOME! Eddie and Tajiri put another ladder into the ring and place Haas onto it, sandwiching him in between two of them. Guerrero hits his slingshot senton onto the ladders, squashing Haas and causing some back pain for himself as well. Tajiri starts to climb the ladder, but Shelton pulls him off of it and Tajiri’s jaw smacks one of the steps hard way. Shelton starts climbing the ladder, but doesn’t get far before Eddie dropkicks him off. Eddie places the ladder in the corner and goes to whip Shelton into it, but Benjamin powerslams him onto it. Haas then places Tajiri on one of the ladders, holding it horizontally while Shelton climbs the other jumping off onto Tajiri’s back in a modification of Team Angle’s leap frog backbreaker double team moves. Shelton starts to climb, but Eddie gets up and knocks the ladder over, sending Haas to the floor. Eddie takes a ladder and rams it into Shelton’s midsection and then wedges it in between the top and middle turnbuckles. He goes to whip Shelton into it, but for the second time in a row, Shelton reverses it and Eddie’s back goes crashing into the ladder. In another poorly executed spot, Tajiri kicks that ladder like a see saw to send it flying into Shelton’s face, so Tajiri does it again without much power and then Shelton has to sell the weak shot. Haas gets back into the ring and Tajiri nails him with a roundhouse kick and Shelton gets one as well. Tajiri takes the ladder from the corner and uses it to ram into the midsection of both Team Angle members. Tajiri baseball slides the ladder into both men, which barely hits Shelton. Tajiri turns his attention to Haas and puts the Tarantula on him, but Shelton nails him with the ladder as he’s performing the move. Back in the ring now, as Team Angle are beating on Eddie. Haas goes to set up the ladder, but Eddie is able to monkey flip Shelton out of the corner and into the ladder, knocking them both down. Eddie suplexes Shelton to the outside and tosses Haas out as well before setting up the ladder for himself. He starts to climb it, but Team Angle all already back in the ring. He’s able to fight them off and being climbing, but Haas is on the other side of the ladder and Shelton is underneath him. Eddie shoves Shelton down and Frogsplashes him off of the ladder. Haas starts climbing up the ladder now and Eddie begins to climb the other side, brawling at the top. He nails Haas and hits the SUNSET FLIP POWERBOMB! Off the ladder! And now Eddie starts to climb the ladder again, but Shelton is in and has a hold of his legs. But Tajiri gets into the ring and climbs the other side MIST! To Shelton’s face and that allows Eddie to pull down the titles for the win. If it wasn’t for a few awkward moments I would have had this a lot higher, but it’s still a really enjoyable match. ***1/4 - ***1/2

In the Skybox, Bischoff and Austin talk about Eddie Guerrero’s talent and how they’d love to have him on Raw again. Austin says he’ll try to get him, then gets Bischoff to drink a beer but he sips out of the cup and Austin asks the crowd if they think he drinks beer like a sissy. Austin shows him how to chug a cold one. He persuades Bischoff to try and chug it as we cut to the back.

Backstage: Terri interviews Chris Jericho, she asks him about his chances in tonight’s IC Title Battle Royal, Rowdy Roddy Piper gets in his face to confront him over the war of words they’ve been waging against each. They get a few good shots in on each other before they talk about what they’re going to do tonight. Jericho say he’s winning the IC Title and Piper says he’s ripping off Mr. America’s mask and exposing Hogan to the world.

Battle Royal For The Vacant WWE Intercontinental Championship
Howard Finkle introduces Pat Patterson to the crowd as the first IC Champ ever will be awarding the title to the winner. J.R. mentions the fact that Jeff Jarrett held the title the most number of times, Jericho, RVD, Booker T, Christian, Kane, Goldust, Lance Storm, Test & Val Venis. Val gets on the mic and announces the return of Val Venis and makes his usual sexual double entendre for the crowd. J.R. runs down each participant’s history with the IC title, namely who they defeated to win the belt each time. As the bell rings, Kane goes right after his tag team partner RVD, but all the other participants’ gang up on him and try to take him out immediately. Kane powers them all away and throws Lance Storm over the top immediately RVD clips Kane, but gets DDT’ed by Venis. The rest of the guys pick up Kane and throw him over the top to eliminate him. Kane comes back in though and attacks EVERYONE, including RVD, what a guy. Booker T pops up and throws Test over the top and then Goldust gets rid of Venis. Christian throws RVD over the top, but he lands on the apron. Jericho takes advantage and hits his springboard dropkick on RVD, knocking him down to the floor and eliminating him. Goldust, Booker T, Christian and Chris Jericho, are left Christian and Jericho start teaming up trying to get Goldust out, but Booker interferes and it goes back to one on one brawling for a bit. Eventually, they double team Goldust, but he’s able to take them both down and with the help of Booker, hits Shattered Dreams on both men. Booker gives the crowd a SPINAROONIE~! And Goldust tries to throw Booker over the top, but it’s reversed and Goldust is eliminated! Goldust and Booker actually laugh about. Christian and Jericho double team Booker with Jericho, calling the shots between the two but also getting his shots in on Booker and they try to eliminate The Book, but he fights back. Booker fights back, but can’t overcome both men. Booker actually gets a small comeback and tosses Jericho over the top, but Jericho holds on and skins the cat back into the ring. Christian and Jericho once again get the advantage on Booker T as he’s planted by a Christian reverse DDT. Jericho goes for the Lionsault, but Christian runs from behind and shoves him over the top, eliminating him! Jericho can’t believe it! It’s down to Christian vs. Booker. CHRISTIAN! He goes to work on Booker on the mat with chokes and punches, but Booker gets up and nails a few forearms and spin kicks. Booker misses a spin kick, allowing Christian to pull him down by the hair. Christian, trying to take advantage goes for a dropkick but Booker moves out of the way and the ref on the outside eats it. The ref is down and Booker tosses Christian over the top, onto the apron and superkicks him down for the elimination. The music starts to play and Patterson goes to award him the title, but is cut off by Christian. He nails Patterson and takes the IC title, gets in the ring and nails Booker in the face with the belt. He picks Booker up as the ref is starting to awaken and tosses him over the top. The bell rings as the ref sees Christian eliminate Booker and he’s the new IC Champ. DAT HEEL WORK!

Bikini Challenge: Sable vs. Torrie Wilson
Torrie wins, obviously

In the skybox, Bischoff is a bit tipsy BUT Austin keeps making him drink. Bischoff doesn’t want to drink anymore and Austin tells him that he’s got something to make him feel better. He gives him a few jalapeños and Bischoff begins to eat them thinking that they’re pickles and then realizes what he just did. Austin hands him the bottle and Bischoff drinks the juice, making it even worse! Bischoff then takes the next beer he can find to wash it down.

Backstage: Piper bitches to Sean O’Haire about Chris Jericho’s comments, but O’Haire lets him know that Jericho didn’t become IC Champ tonight, so it doesn’t matter. Vince McMahon walks in telling Piper he was just as integral to WWE’s boom in the 80’s as Hogan. He tells Piper that he’s going to take Mr. America down and allow Vince McMahon to unmask him and reveal Hogan’s face to the world.

Mr. America (w/Zach Gowan) vs. Roddy Piper (w/Sean O'Haire)
Hogan calls Zach Gowen out. Sean and Piper double team Hogan, O'Haire is forced out by the ref. Piper kicks around Hogan. He distracts the ref so O'Haire can get a few shots in. Hogan fights back and beats on Piper in the corner. O'Haire trips up Hogan but Hogan fights back on the outside, making O'Haire. Piper jumps from the apron to weakly slap Hogan on the back Piper takes Hogan's belt and slaps it across the back of Hogan. Hogan no-sells, but O'Haire drops Hogan throat-first across the top rope which enables Piper to lock in the worst sleeper I have ever seen this side. Hogan fights out of the sleeper and HULKS UP!, OH SHIT! Punch, punch, big boot, and out comes Vince. He hands O'Haire a steel pipe, as Piper can't even apply a full nelson to Hogan. Of course, Hogan avoids the steel pipe and Piper is killed and that allows Hulk to take out O'Haire, Legdrop to Piper for the win. I HATE MY LIFE!

Backstage: Triple H runs into his Ex-Wife Steph, she tells him to be careful he looks like he’s about to kiss her but instead walks off. (STEPH LOOKS FUCKIN’ HAWT)

WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Triple H (w/Ric Flair) vs. Kevin Nash (w/Shawn Michaels)
Ric Flair gets his own separate entrance and gets a big pop from the hometown crowd. Nash goes right after Hunter at the top of the entrance way and Ric Flair gives chase as well. Shawn cuts off Flair and end up brawling to the back, leaving Nash and Hunter brawl down to ringside. Nash throws Hunter into the ring steps and then tosses him into the Smackdown announce table before throwing him in ring to official start of the match. Nash knocks Hunter down with an elbow and some knees in the corner. Nash then uses his size to his advantage by back body dropping Hunter, who rolls out of the ring again and up the aisle way. Nash catches him though and rams him into the ring post before throwing him back into the ring. But Hunter runs into a big boot and Nash follows up with more elbowdrops. Hunter rakes Nash’s eyes and then shoves the ref in order to get himself intentionally DQ’ed, but Hebner doesn’t go for it. DAMN YOU HEBNER! Nash takes over once again, but ducks too early and Hunter connects with a desperation swinging neckbreaker to get some separation. But Nash doesn’t let up and continues to pursuit and takes Hunter in the corner and starts the ground and pound on him before Hebner tells Nash to knock it off. Nash shoves him down and Hebner gets up and pulls Nash off by the hair, FUCK YEAH! Hunter takes the time to run around the ring and regain his composure, but ends up clotheslining the ref “accidentally†as soon as he gets back in. Nash once again ducks his head too early and Hunter kicks him in the chest, but Nash no-sells it leaving Triple H no choice but to kick him balls. Triple H heads to one of the corners and exposes the steel bolt underneath. He tries to ram Nash into it, but Nash is able to block it and hits him with a sidewalk slam on, but the ref is down. Nash elbows him in the corner leading to a second big boot and Nash goes for Snake Eyes on the exposes buckle, but the ref gets in the way and Nash shoves him down, allowing Hunter to slip out and ram Nash into it. Triple H hits the Pedigree and goes for the cover but Nash kicks out. Triple H goes for a second attempt, but gets back body dropped over the top rope. He goes underneath the ring and gets the sledgehammer. Earl tries to take it away from him, but Hunter nails him with it for the DQ finish. Post-Match: Nash gets up and nails Hunter with Snake Eyes on the exposed followed by a Lazy Bomb. Nash picks up the sledgehammer as the refs help Triple H get to the back. Nash drops hammer and knocks down all of the refs before stalkin’ Hunter to the Raw announce stage. Ric Flair comes back and chops Nash only to be completely no sold and knocked down with one punch. Security try to stop Nash and he shoves everyone down, including Shawn Michaels. He sets up Triple H and powerbombs him through the announce table which looks NASY! This was there to set up Bad Blood and that’s all there is to it. The match sucked beyond belief and no one cared at all about this. *

In the skybox, Bischoff doesn’t feel so well and Austin keeps trying to fill him up with food and beer. He gets his personal waitress for the night brings tray of Buffalo wings but Bischoff ends up hurling on her AND the fans sitting in front of the skybox.

WWE Women's Championship: Trish Stratus vs. Jacqueline vs. Victoria (w/Steven Richards) vs. Jazz (w/Theodore Long)
They all battle to start, Jazz and Victoria try to whip Trish and Jackie into each other but they reverse it. Jazz and Trish go at it for a few, but Victoria breaks it up and drags Trish out of the ring leaving Jazz and Jackie to battle. Jackie hits a suplex for two but Victoria breaks the pin. She hits a fireman's carry into a sidewalk slam but Jazz breaks up the count and she begins to overpower and throw Victoria Victoria and Jackie around before Trish comes back into the ring and hits a flying clothesline for two. Jazz locks Trish in an STF while Jackie has Victoria in a one-legged Boston Crab. Trish reaches the ropes so Jazz kicks Jackie out the ring and applies the STF to Victoria. Trish breaks it up with a dropkick. But Jazz hits a chinbreaker on Trish, Trish fights back with a chick kick for two. All four girls are back in the ring now and Trish hits her headstand hurricanranas on Jazz then one for Victoria. Trish tries her springboard bulldog but is tossed to the floor. Jackie reverses a powerbomb attempt by Victoria into a bridging suplex for two, Jazz breaks up the count and plants Jackie with the DDT for win. *1/4

Stretcher Match For The WWE Championship: Brock Lesnar vs. The Big Show
There are a few stretchers at ringside and the way to win the match is you have to place your opponent on a stretcher and rolled past a yellow line at the top of the ramp. There are no count outs and no DQ’s as well. Show comes to the ring with the same stretcher board he’s been using in recent weeks with Mysterio’s, Benoit’s and Lesnar’s name on it. Show charges at Lesnar with the board, but Lesnar ducks and unleashes a flurry of kicks and punches onto Show before nailing him with a few board shots to the back, including one to the head that knocks Show over the top rope. He nails him with it a few more times, but Show comes back with a boot to the midsection and a headbutt that Lesnar sells PHENONAMALY! Show sets the board up near the ring post and goes to ram Lesnar into it, but Brock slips out and shoves Show into the post himself. Lesnar rams the stretcher into Show’s face, he goes to do it a 2nd time but Show is able to come back with a clubbing blow and a press slam onto the stretcher. Show takes the board and just nails Brock on the back with it before throwing Brock back into the ring where Lesnar is able to get the advantage with shoulder tackles. Lesnar tries to whip Show out of the corner, but Show grabs him and hits a MASSIVE Chokeslam. Show heads to ringside to get a stretcher board and puts it into the ring to put Brock on. He places Brock on the board and Show drops a big leg on him. Show places Brock on a stretcher and begins wheeling him towards the yellow line, but Brock kicks Show and tries to sit up, but Show clotheslines Brock off of the stretcher and he takes a hard fall onto the floor! Show once again kills Brock with the stretcher board before heading back to the ring with him. Lesnar tries to fight back and heads up the ramp, but decides to kills him some more with the stretcher board several times and uses some electrical cable to choke out Show as well. Brock then places Show on a stretcher and tries to wheel him past the yellow line, but Show holds onto the cable and gets pulled off of the stretcher. They begin brawling up the ramp again and Lesnar FUCKIN’ BODY SLAMS Show onto stretcher, but Show falls off of it. Lesnar simply can’t keep him on the stretcher no matter what he tries. He rams the stretcher into Show’s body, but it turns into a tug of war that Lesnar uses when Show rams it into Brock’s ribs. Show positions a stretcher in the aisle way and rams Lesnar into the steel post before getting another stretcher board from under the ring. Lesnar gets into the ring as Show gets on the apron and Lesnar charges at Show knocking him off of the apron onto the stretcher that Show placed at ringside but falling off because the stretcher is just too small. Lesnar leaves and heads to the back, pointing to his head. All of a sudden, Rey Mysterio’s music hits and Rey from behind and attacks Show with a 619 to the midsection! Rey’s offense is short lived though as Show clotheslines the hell out of him and signals for the Chokeslam. But Brock BUSTS through the stage with a forklift and the crowd erupts. He drives it to the ring and the distraction allows Rey to get on Show with a sleeper as Lesnar gets on the forklift. Show tosses Rey off but Lesnar gives into the ring with a flying cross body off the forklift He charges at Show with shoulder tackles in the corner then a Suplex to the Big Show, Brock then decides to hit him with a F5 before placing him on the stretcher board, then on the forklift and drives him past the yellow line to retain the title. FUCKIN’ AWESOME MATCH! Both men bumped like crazy for one another, and I loved the story with Show being too big to fit on the normal stretcher so we finally see the smarts of BROCK! To bring out the forklift. The forklift was also what Show, Train and FBI used to lock Brock in a room back on SD so that was a nice call back to use against Show. ***1/2

 

[Crippler]

WWE Raw 05/19/2003 :KANE:
Greenville, South Carolina

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam & Kane
WWE Women's Champion: Jazz

CO GM of Raw Stone Cold Steve Austin comes down to the ring and gets on the mic, he says he drank a lot of beer and ate a lot of food and watched some damn good matches. Austin then says that Eric Bischoff drank a lot of beer and ate a lot food and made a jackass of himself. Austin shows slow motion footage of Eric Bischoff puking up on the fans three different times. He announces Bad Blood for June, and says his investigation of who tried to hit Goldberg is still going on, and he's going to find out who it was tonight and gonna make them fight Goldberg tonight. Austin shows more footage of Bill Goldberg nearly getting run down by a car last week, and says if anyone knows about getting hit by a car in the WWE it him. Austin then introduces the World Heavyweight champion, Triple H and he has the Ric Flair with him. Hunter is just about to spit the water out of his mouth but Austin orders the music to be shut down and nobody has time for that Austin says Kevin Nash kicked Triple H's ass last night, and Triple H shouldn't be World champion right now. He got himself intentionally disqualified to save his World title. Austin then says Triple H will wrestle tonight, Triple H says he thinks Steve Austin is drunk with power and encase he hasn’t noticed he is the World's Heavyweight champion, and has a lot of stroke in the WWE Triple H says that he's tired and beat up and is not going to wrestle tonight. Austin then says he'll allowed to pick his own opponent, but it has to be a former World champion. He says his options are: Kane, Shawn Michaels, Chris Jericho or Kevin Nash (No Booker T ) Triple H is upset initially, but stops and smiles, and accepts. He says he'll face not only a former World Champion, but the best World Champion ever, HIS GOOD FRIEND, RIC FLAIR!

The Dudley Boyz vs. 3 Minute Warning (w/Rico)
Three-Minute Warning don’t even get entrances anymore First few minutes were solid it’s pretty much a “slobber knocker” brawl. The match would end when Jamal then hits a Samoan drop on Bubba, and covers but he's not the legal man. Rico slides a table into the ring and Jamal sets it up, Jamal sets D-Von up on the table and climbs the top rope but misses the splash. This allows The Dudley Boyz to hit Rosey with the 3D for the win. Post-Match: Rico is lost for words and says he’s had it up to here with them, he then says he leaving them as his old theme music plays. RIP THREE MINUTE WARNING!

Backstage: Stone Cold Steve Austin yelling in a hangover Eric Bischoff's ear, he pulls Eric Bischoff to his feet and says they have a show to run. Eric says he can't eat hamburgers, hotdogs, jalapenos and beer, he just can’t live that redneck life Austin tells Eric that what would cure his hangover is more drinking. Austin opens another beer and waves it under Eric Bischoff's nose and Eric vomits again, this time all over the portrait of himself on the wall. Austin tells him he’s a good kid and he likes him, not very much but he likes him Kevin Nash approaches Steve Austin about getting screwed out of the title last night and Austin tells him to he’s still the Number #1 contender and says he will get the winner of Triple H vs. Ric Flair tonight.

Backstage: Ric Flair thanks Triple H for giving him a title shot tonight and says he's honored to be picked, Triple H says he's misunderstanding him. He didn't pick him because he's Flair the legend, he picked him because he’s Ric Flair the friends. To stick it to Austin. Triple H says he's really sore from Judgment Day, and what's going to happen is they'll go out, talk some trash, and Flair will lay down. They'll go home, and it'll be like a night off, and H says not to worry.

Chris Jericho comes down to the ring for the Highlight Reel, OH SHIT! IT’S THE JERITRON 5000! Jericho shows footage of Christian betraying Jericho in the battle royal, and Jericho says Christian betrayed him and stabbed him in the back. Jericho introduces his special guest, THE NEW IC CHAMPION Christian, who comes out with a brand new short haircut Jericho says that he would have done the exact same thing and hugs Christian. Christian says he's a new man, with a new look, and couldn't have done it without his loyal fans, and says that he is the REAL AMERICAN IDOL! Jericho comments that the best thing is he isn't even AMERICAN! Jericho then shows footage of the controversial way Christian won the title last night, and Christian says that Booker T is a good kid, but he's just not championship material. Christian also says that he won the Intercontinental under the noses of both General Managers. Christian tries out his new catch phrase "Christian Rules!" Suddenly, Rob Van Dam comes out and says he sees that Christian is trying to gain support from the fans. But he needs a better catch phrase, like "You’ve got the belt and all the big bucks, but we all know Christian Sucks!" RVD challenges Christian to an Intercontinental title match tonight. Christian declines and says he doesn't appreciate RVD interrupting his victory party. Christian & Jericho attack Rob Van Dam. But Kane runs down and makes the save, Austin comes on the tron and makes Kane & RVD vs. Jericho/Christian, for the tag team titles NOW.

WWE World Tag Team Championships: Chris Jericho & Christian vs. Rob Van Dam & Kane
We comeback from a commercial with the match already started and Christian isn’t even in ring gear, Jericho has RVD in a side headlock but RVD tries to fight out but Jericho shoulderblock him but runs right into a RVD leg lariat. RVD catches a boot and connects with the step over spin kicks, then a moonsault for two. Punches now but Jericho fights back with a choke in the corner. RVD counters a charge after the Irish whip with a back elbow but Jericho drops down as RVD looks like he was gonna hit him again so RVD switches it up with the split leg moonsault for another two. lol @ Jericho reaching out for the tag and screaming “Help Me” Christian tags in after Jericho doesn’t even tag him but he is meet with a forearm and now Kane is in, he throws Christian in the corner and begins to beat on him before whipping him into the other corner and Christian bumps hard but walks right into the sidewalk slam for one as Jericho pulls him off. Thumb to the eye of Kane by Christian, he then tries punches and knees but none of them connect clean at all. He tries to whip Kane but Kane overpowers him with a whip of his own sending Christian to the outside, in comes Jericho now but Kane lifts him up and press slams him to the outside and onto Christian. Team work with Kane whipping RVD who connects with a somersault plancha onto both guys. Jericho is back in and Kane hits him with a sidewalk slam and RVD tags back in who connects with a spinning legdrop then the rolling thunder (Side note Jericho is not the legal man) That gets a two count, forearms on Jericho in the corner and RVD comes in with the running shoulderblocks and on the third he looks like he wants to hit the monkey slip but Christian holds onto Jericho from the apron and RVD falls on his back/neck hard. This allows Jericho to connect with a dropkick, tag to Christian who puts to boots to RVD and now takes off the vest and begins to choke RVD with it. Snap mare takedown by Christian who applies the chinlock but RVD fights out with elbows but runs into a knee then the inverted DDT for two, Kane breaks it up and Jericho comes in and begins to takeover with NO TAG! He begins to choke RVD on the ropes and does the running knee to the back. RVD again tries to fight out but Jericho hits hit with an elbow or punch knocking him down, before tagging Christian in punches now and he nails RVD with a sweet looking powerslam for two. More choking by Christian and Jericho is in now who applies the submission with his knee in the back. RVD fights out but runs right into the spinning leg lariat, he then tries for the walls but RVD counters into the inside cradle for two. Christian tags in now and they try a double team move, first by whipping RVD into the corner and as Jericho comes charging in RVD rolls over his back and goes for a spear but it looks like his feet buckled so RVD headbutts his dick Supperkick to Jericho now, and RVD finally makes the hot tag to KANE! He comes in like a house of fire and hits an awkward backbody drop on Jericho and Christian walks right into a boot, Kane then tosses Jericho outside and kills Christian with the running clothesline in the corner. Double handed chokeslam by Kane but he misses the backslash, Christian then stands over him but Kane grabs the throat and throws him into Jericho who is climbing the top rope. Sidewalk slam to Christian now, for a two count. Kane heads up himself and nails the flying clothes line but Jericho breaks it up. RVD in now with the flying Sidekick taking Jericho out. Kane then chokeslams Christian as RVD heads up looking for the Five Star frogslaph but Jericho shoves him down and Kane brings him back in, tilt-a-while slam to Jericho and he goes for the Chokeslam on Jericho but behind the refs back Christian low blows him and connects with the inverted DDT/Lionsault combo for two. Jericho picks up two chairs and shove the ref down for the DQ. Booker runs down and cleans house on both Jericho & Christian. If it wasn’t for all the sloppy moments I might have rated this higher. **3/4

Backstage: Ric Flair bumps into Shawn Michaels in the catering section, Shawn says he respects Ric Flair and pleads with him not to go out and "lay down" for Triple H. He says that he once heard Ric Flair say he was the measuring stick in the wrestling industry. Shawn says when he heard that 15 years ago he fought every day to try to reach that level. Ric Flair, who starts to choke up, asks Shawn Michaels if he thinks he can really go out there and compete with Triple H. Shawn says that he still believes in the "Nature Boy" and the question is if Ric Flair still believes in it. By the end of this segment, Ric Flair was weeping, which only shows how much passion he has for the industry.

Five Minute White Boy Challenge: Rodney Mack vs. Spike Dudley
Teddy Long & Rodney Mack comes out and calls all the crowd a bunch of white biggets, Teddy Long issues an open challenge to any established WWE RAW "white boy" wrestler Spike Dudley answers and Lawler says Spikes arms remind him of two bottles of milk. It took Mack 4:59 to beat spike HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Backstage: Stone Cold Steve Austin teases Eric Bischoff by talking to him through a megaphone, he then smashes a couple of trash can lids together to further piss him off. Austin says he's got a sure fire cure for a hangover, female entertainment. FUCK YEAH! Austin brings Fabulous Moolah & Mae Young into the room, FUCK NO! And they try to manhandle Eric Bischoff. Eric Bischoff gets very upset and throws them out of the room.

Backstage: Ric Flair puts on his blue robe and begins to strut around, before yelling WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

La Resistance vs. Scott Steiner & Test (w/Stacy Keibler)
I Hate My Life. Post-Match: Test & Scott Steiner get into a shoving match, until Stacy gets between them. Test grabs Stacy by the wrist and motions to leave the ring, while Steiner grabs Stacy's other wrist and they have a brief tug-a-war. Stacy throws her arms in the air and walks out on BOTH men.

Backstage: Austin walks into the Interrogation Room. We come back and see Lance Storm is sitting in the chair, Austin says he knows all about him and asks where was he June 25th 1989, Storm ask what has that got to do with anything and Austin says it’s got nothing to do with It he just wants to see if he would lie to him Austin calls him a little seedy bastard, then asks if that was his rental car that struck Goldbergs limo. Storm is silent and Austin laughs before saying he’s got ways of making him talk. Look at me, does it look like I’m joking? He asks him again and Storm breaks down he says it was an accident to start it was out of control, he tried to miss him. I’M FROM CANADA WE DRIVE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROAD! It wasn’t my fault. Austin then calls him about lying’ about driving on the other side. Storm then says it wasn’t even his idea, Austin ask whose idea it was then says never mind and forces Lance to leave and go to the ring and wait for Goldberg.

[video=youtube;JVvTkCyA-DY]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVvTkCyA-DY&feature=youtu.be[/video]​

During the Break: Coach catches Jericho trying to leave, Chris Jericho admits to setting up the hit on Bill Goldberg last week and says he'll deal with Goldberg face-to-face on the Highlight reel next week.

Goldberg vs. Lance Storm
AWESOME SQUASH! Post-Match: Goldberg grabs Lance by the throat and demands to know who put him up to it, and he says it was Chris Jericho. OH SHIT!

WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Ric Flair vs. Triple H
Flair getting hyped during Flairs entrance JR this is like Mickey Mantle getting one more shot, at Yankee Stadiums but Lawler says Mantle's dead, and JR responding with "WELL RIC FLAIR'S NOT DEAD!" So JR comes back with well Mantle's legacy isn’t dead and neither is Rick Flair’s legacy. FUCKIN’ AWESOME! During Triple H’s entrance he can’t even spit the water correctly as he goes right to holding the ribs. Hunter tells Flair to lay down, and Flair says okay then sticks out his hand. But Flair pulls it away and slicks back the hair OH SHIT! Hard lockup to start and Hunter backs in the corner for the clean break, but Flair WOOOOOO’s as Hunter comes back to him but Flair pokes him the eyes. Chops in the corner but Flair goes to whip him but Hunter counters it with a back elbow knocking Flair down. Hunter picks him up and tries a suplex but he can’t the ribs are too banged up. This allows Flair to comeback with a thunderous chop and now Hunter takes that hard whip to the outside but this time he goes crashing into the barricades ribs first. Flair follows him out and suplexes him on the floor, more chops and before rolling him back in. Another suplex but this time it’s a delayed one. But Flair takes too long on the cover and gets a two, chops but Hunter again reverses a whip into the Double A Spinebuster, but this time Hunter is too hurt to make the cover. Hunter now punches him in the corner and now boots, as Flair is down Hunter begins to choke him but Flair gets out and chops him. Both men begin to trade shots for a while as we see Flair take the “Flair corner bump” but he runs across the apron and actually connects with the double axe-handle off the top. OH SHIT! I think Flair is like 2-10,002 doing that move. Flair celebrates and now begins to punch away at Hunter before knocking him down with a Chop, he picks him up and now he delivers the chop block. FIGURE FOUR IS APPLIED! Hunter fights out, as both men get back to their feet but Flair backs him into he corner but Hunter connects with a right hand knocking Flair down. Hunter is still limping so Flair chops him some more but this time Hunter puts a stop to that by whipping him into the ropes and applying the sleeper but he doesn’t fully have it locked in so Flair backs him up in the corner but the ref is their too, knocking him down. Facebuster by Hunter now who goes out of the ring and picks up the World Heavyweight Championship, he misses Flair with is and Flair pokes him in the eyes again. Low Blow now and he picks up the world title and nails Hunter in the head with it. OH SHIT! He wakes the ref up and Nick Patrick counts 2, the crowd pop was EPIC! Flair goes for the figure four again but Hunter kicks him off sending Flair mid-section first into the buckle. Hunter sets up the pedigree but gets backdropped out of it, kick to the mid-section and Flair goes for a pedigree of his own but Hunter backdrops him out of it. He hits pedigree of his own for the win. Post-Match: Nash quickly walks to the ring, Hunter then collapse on the ramp and Austin comes out and announces it Triple H vs. Kevin Nash @ Badd Blood, in Houston Texas…. HELL IN A CELL! As for the match it’s not 2005 good but given they had six minutes it was a ton of fun. ***

 

[Crippler]

WWE Smackdown 05/22/2003
Greensboro, North Carolina

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar
WWE Tag Team Champions: Eddie Guerrero & Tajiri
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Matt Hardy

Vince McMahon comes out on the stage, he says he is in a foul mood tonight and isn't gonna take any crap. It all started when Stephanie gave that unconditional contract to Mr. America. Vince says his attempt at Judgment Day to unmask Mr. America had failed, he was physically assaulted by a handicapped kid Vince says he's taking over Smackdown!, and by the end of the night, he guaranties he’ll be smiling.

NEW SMACKDOWN INTRO!

WWE Tag Team Championships: Team Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero & Tajiri
Eddie is getting more jacked up as the weeks go by, JESUS! Tajiri & Shelton start and Shelton gets a quick school boy out of nowhere for two, side headlock take down now but Tajiri comes right back attempting a single leg takedown but that is countered into an armbar. Tajiri counters that into an armdrag he then locks both arms and goes for like the dragon suplex pin, just without the dragon suplex. I’m guessing it’s just the bridge then. Standoff now, as Cole lets us know Kurt Angle is returning in two weeks. Knee by Shelton as Haas takes him snapmares Tajiri over for two, Haas whips him into the corner but misses the charge, that allow Tajiri to take him over with a high hiptoss then the jumping yelling knee for two. Haas breaks a whip with a knee and tags in Shelton. They go for a double team vertical suplex but Eddie comes in and assist Tajiri over landing on his feet so both Eddie and Tajiri dropkick team Angle out of the ring. Team Angle regroups on the outside as Shelton slowly get back in but now Eddie tags in. and Hass lock up with him but back Eddie up in the corner with shouldblocks before whipping him into the corner, Haas comes running in but Eddie meets him with a back elbow then hits an epic springboard armdrag, sweep to the legs but gets a one count. Eddie doesn’t let up as he hits a flying headscissors and snapmare Haas over in his corner before tagging Tajiri in, kick to the back one once but twice. He whips Haas into the corner but Haas unleashes this nasty spear/take down absolutely killing Tajiri and he rolls him to the corner for a Shelton tag. In comes Shelton who hits side suplex, before hitting a knee to the back. Haas then goes for snake eyes or a power slam but Tajiri fights out and hits a spinning leg lariat and makes the Tag to Eddie as Haas tags Shelton in. Eddie cleans house with clotheslines, punches and even a back suplex to Haas but Shelton cuts him off with a knee as both men trade switch positions but it ends with Eddie getting the better and send him to the floor. Tajiri then sunset Helios onto both men. He rolls Shelton back in and Eddie applies the side chinlock, Shelton would fight out buy runs right into a dropkick then a quick suplex he goes for the three amigos and on the third Haas blind tags in and tires a sunset flip but Eddie is still holding on so Shelton jumps from the 2nd buckle and hits a neck breaker for two. Tajiri breaks it up with a dropkick, Haas hits a swinging neckbreaker for two and Shelton is back in and applies a neck vice dropping Eddie to his knee. The crowd begins to chant “Eddie†and he does make a comeback but Shelton catches him with a straight scoopslam for two. Right back to the chinlock, but this time Shelton is sitting on the back. Tag to Haas and he begins to work on the back bit again Eddie kicks free and tries to tag Tajiri in but Haas takes him down front facelock style he crotches Eddie on the top but Eddie fights both Team Angle down but Haas fights him again, but this time Eddie pushes him down and goes for the Frog Splash but Hass gets the knees up. OH MAN! Haas goes for the cover and gets two, backbreaker connects and Haas locks in the “Haas of pain†Shelton comes in and throw Tajiri out but Tajiri uses his quickness to get back in and break up the move while Shelton is scratching his head on the outside. Tag to Shelton who kicks Eddie and applies the abdominal stretch. The ref goes to stop Tajiri from coming in and Team Angle do the switch, as Tazz makes the joke that it’s hard for the ref to tell Team Angle apart FOR GODS SAKE! Anyway, Eddie hiptosses out of it but he’s in the wrong corner. Eddie tries to run and jump over Haas but Haas cuts off the tag with a double-leg takedown for two, Shelton tags in and that do the double team leap frog backbreaker, Eddie is on his knees now so Shelton picks him up for a northern lights suplex with a bridge for two. Eddie tries again to tag out but Shelton picks the ankle and pulls him back to his corner, Eddie tries to fight out knocking Haas off the apron but then hitting the uses the flying headscissors with armdrag taking both Team Angle down, I LOVE THIS FUCKIN’ GUY! Hot tag to Tajiri who handspring kicks Haas off the apron, then he starts unloading on Shelton knocking him down, he then hits a handspring elbow on him. Tornado DDT but Haas breaks it up, as Eddie comes over and hip tosses him and Haas over the top. Tajiri goes for the kill headshot but Shelton hits him in the midsection and whips him in the corner but Shelton makes the mistake of following in and gets caught in the Tarantula, but Haas breaks it up from the outside. Tajiri blocks a superkick, but Benjamin spins around with a kick him, Shelton goes for a cover but Eddie nails the ref with a chair to break up the pinfall attempt, and then tosses it into Haas’s hands the ref sees it and DQ’s Team Angle. “THEY LIE, THEY CHEAT & THEY STEAL†As for the match what can I say all four men clicked and it was pretty AWESOME! ****

Backstage: Stephanie McMahon expresses her concern that he may be a bit too obsessed with Mr. America. Vince says that he is tired of all the "mistakes", insinuating that Stephanie was part of the problem. Vince says that he's in control but promises that by the end of the night, he'll be out of control.

Vince McMahon comes out and says instead of paying the piper, the Piper will pay Mr. McMahon tonight. He brings out Piper & O'Haire and demands an apology from Piper.

Roddy Piper reluctantly apologizes, but then Vince slaps Roddy across the face Piper glares back at Vince and Vince says that is the look he wanted to see. He says 20 years ago, Roddy Piper wouldn't have just come out and apologized that easy, Vince tries to slap Roddy again, but Roddy blocks it. Piper says that he's right, and Roddy & Vince nearly come to blows, until Sean O'Haire breaks them up. O'Haire takes responsibility for Roddy Piper losing last night and then volunteers to face Mr. America in a match TONIGHT! Roddy Piper likes that idea and says Sean O'Haire will expose Mr. America as the fraud he is, Vince McMahon approves of the match, but says if Sean O'Haire doesn't win, Roddy Piper is fired.

John Cena vs. Brian “Spanky†Kendrick
Before the match Cena cuts a RAP! Highlights “Dude, I'll serve you quicker than a Burger King drive-thru. With a name like Spanky, yo, he'll never get a date. He's all ways arguing in groups, cuz' all he does is mass debate & you and your funny tricks, you wanna spank something? Dude, go home, spank on your…..†Cena uses his power and Kendrick bumps crazy for him, what more could I ask for in a squash match. The footage I have gets fuckin’ up so I missed spots.

Backstage: Nunzio talks about Brock Lesnar not being 100% after the stretcher match last night, he also says that Brock is at a disadvantage because he doesn't know which member of the FBI he'll face.

Chris Benoit vs. Matt Hardy (w/Shannon Moore & Crash Holly)
Rey Mysterio comes out to do commentary, Mattitude.com “Matt likes his steak medium well, Matt has more teeth than Benoit†Matt mocks Benoit to start, but goes for the grab the hand Benoit goes in but Matt slaps it away and begins to celebrate like he won That further pissed Benoit off so he goes for the Crossface imminently but Matt scrambles and reaches the ropes. Benoit pulls him back but Matt gets to his feet and spins him around with the leg before taking him down with a wristlock, Matt rolls to the ropes for a break. Another tie up but Benoit sweeps the leg and goes right to work with a wristlock but Matt fights out and tries to arm drag Benoit out but Benoit holds on and arm drags him down not letting go of the arm, Benoit switches it to a hammerlock but Matt elbows out but leaves time for Benoit to get up. Benoit begins chopping his chest before whipping him sternum first into the buckle, Benoit hits one German and on the second attempt Crash gets on the apron to distracting the ref allowing Moore to grab the leg allowing Matt to low blow him. Matt goes for a cover but gets two, side effect gets another two. And Matt goes for a side chin lock it like a cravat. As we see Crash still reading the Matt book Benoit fight out with punches but runs into a Matt sleeper attempt, Benoit fights out and Matt tries a whip off the ropes but gets caught in a Benoit sleeper. But Matt hits the AWESOME! Belly to back sitdown suplex to get out of it for two, Matt puts Benoit neck onto the ropes before choking him then hitting the running knee to the neck. Neckbreaker gets a two, Matt goes to work by applying a front headlock but Benoit makes it to his feet and rams Matt into the buckle but Benoit makes the mistake of charging in and is meet by an elbow. Matt climbs the 2nd rope and hits the leg drop for two, Twist of fate attempt is block and both men run headfirst into one another. Benoit gets up first, and both men trade right hinds with Benoit getting the better. Snap suplex is followed by running back elbows, back breaker gets a two and Benoit again whips him sternum first into the buckle but this time Matt counters the German and attempts an elbow but Benoit ducks and that allows him to take him down buy the legs. Slingshot into the post and Benoit hits a suplex, Diving Headbutt connects and Rey pulls more off the apron then 619’S Crash around the post AWESOME! Matt tries the Twist of fate but Benoit counter to the Crossface and Matt is forced to tap. Post-Match: Matt gets on the mic and asks if it’s funny that he just got beat, Matt then says it Rey wants a title shot he has to beat both Moore and Crash right now. ***1/4

Elimination, Handicap Match: Rey Mysterio vs. Shannon Moore & Crash Holly
Rey gets rid of Shannon to start and sets up Crash for 619, but gets tripped up by Moore. Crash backdrops him to the floor and Moore throws him to the post, back in and Crash gets two. A double-team powerbomb gets two, then as Double-suplex is countered by Rey into a double-DDT. Rey heads up with a cannonball on Crash and a crossbody for two. He dropkicks him in the corner, but seems to have injured his groin He quickly hits Moore with the 619 and a rana for the. The match continues with Crash, who gets pinned with another rana. Post-Match: Matt comes back down and lays out both Crash & Moore for being fuck ups. **1/4

A pre-taped interview with Zack Gowan airs, talking about he lost his leg as a child. His father took off when he was young, Zach talks about the make-a-wish foundation offering to let him meet Hulk Hogan. It was a dream come true to accompany Mr. America to the ring at Judgment Day, Zach tells Stephanie that he has been training to become a wrestler, and hopes to work for her someday. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Stephanie states that anything can happen in the WWE!

Backstage: Mr. America is in a photo shoot and Vince tells “HOGAN†And Mr. America looks Vince then trolls the fuck out of him by sayin’ AHHHHHH! That’s right your not Hogan, even though he clearly looked Vince tells Mr. America that if he loses to O'Haire tonight, he'll have to undergo a lie detector test next week on SD. Mr. America agrees to this when Vince says if he doesn't, then he'll make sure his friend Zack Gowan never fulfils his dream of wrestling on Smackdown. America accepts, but he says Vince really is a son of a bitch.

Brock Lesnar vs. Johnny Stamboli (w/FBI)
Poor Brock he and Show tore down the house in a god damn stretcher match and now he has to face this piece of shit, UGH! It was fun when Brock was making this guy look a bitch but as soon as Stamboli took over this got shit fast. FBI interfered for the DQ to further piss me off. But WAIT! Post-Match: The FBI are doing a number on Brock, suddenly The Undertaker returns to clean house. FUCK YEAH!

Sable comes out and brags about being on the cover of the new WWE RAW magazine, she addresses Tazz, for being a poor judge during the Judgment Day Bikini Contest. She stands on the announce table over Tazz's and says Tazz declared Torrie the winner without consulting the audience. Sable squats in front of Tazz and asks if he thinks she's hot, Sable says she is "hot" right now, and drinks some water, letting it drip down her CLEAVAGE! Sable says that Tazz's decision was pre-mature, but that's normal for Tazz. Sable then dumps a bottle of water of Tazz's head and leaves. TAZZ SEEMED LEGIT! PISSED lol

Backstage: Sean O'Haire says he's gonna go right for the mask, but Vince McMahon suggests he just try to beat Mr. America, so he has to take the lie detector next week. And the first question he’s gonna ask him “Is Hulk Hogan Mr. Americaâ€

Sean O'Haire (w/Roddy Piper) vs. Mr. America (w/Zach Gowan)
I HATE MY LIFE! The match ends when Mr. America hulks up and delivers the usual finishing combo, but Piper breaks up the pin and Vince comes down, he’s on the mic and says Zach Gowan isn’t licensed to be here, Vince then takes the kids walking stick and says he’s got a weapon so police officers arrest him for trespassing and assault, Mr. America gets distracted and gets counted out HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Horribly finish that does zero for O’Haire, does SD even have a number one heel not named Vince. Post-Match: Piper hits Mr. America in the back with a chair. DUD!

Smackdown goes off air: Vince mocks Zach by pretending he’s handicapped by walking with the stick, Mr. America crawls towards them like he’s dying but he gets the mic and before he can talk O'Haire drags him back down to the ring. In the ring now and he puts the boots to him but Mr. America hulks up, he talks out both Piper and O'Haire. Mr. America then raises the mask ¾ of the way up and begins to celebrate with the face. THIS GUY IS AN IDIOT! Has he not realized that WWE has camera rolling at all times?

 

[Crippler]

WWE Raw 05/26/2003
Mobile, Alabama

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam & Kane
WWE Women's Champion: Jazz

Shawn Michaels comes down to the ring and gets on the mic, he introduces the "Greatest World Champion Of All Time" Ric Flair. He puts over Flair, he says Ric Flair that he is everything that is great and wonderful in this business. And that Ric Flair is "every reason" he wanted to do this as a job. Shawn remembers when Ric Flair came out 15 years ago and called himself the standard in wrestling, he used every ounce of his being to try to live up to that standard and he once thought he reached that level. Shawn says after last week, Ric Flair will be known as the greatest wrestler ever, it might sound selfish, but he wants to know if he's in the same league as Ric Flair. Shawn says it would be an honor and a pleasure to wrestle Ric Flair tonight one-on-one. Ric Flair thanks Shawn for reminding him last week who he needed to be, but he already passed the torch to Shawn Michaels, who took wrestling to a whole new level. Ric Flair says he would love to go out and have a match with Shawn Michaels tonight. Suddenly, Triple H comes out and says he knows first hand that the "Nature Boy" is back. Triple H pleads with Ric Flair not to turn his back on him, but Flair says that Triple H is the World Champion, but Shawn Michaels came to him and reminded him who he was. Flair says that he is not some subservient jerk sidekick, he's standing alone from now on. Triple H yells at Ric Flair calling him an “OLD BASTARDâ€, saying he bought Ric Flair back to the spotlight and he does not want to stand up against him. Eric Bischoff then comes out to the stage, he says that he wasn't feeling all that well last week, and Steve Austin took advantage of it but looking at three of the biggest egos in the history of the industry. He says Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels is way too big and important for free television, so Eric announces Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels at Bad Blood. Eric then says Ric Flair & Shawn Michaels will face Triple H in a handicap match tonight.

Booker T vs. Test (w/Stacy Keibler)
JR lets us know Stacy will manage Test and Scotty separately from now on. It back-and-forth for a few minutes, Test is really bad in the ring and it’s a shame Booker means nothing now. The match ends when Booker goes for a baseball slide but Test pulls Stacy in the way. Booker goes out to check on Stacy, but. Test starts beating down Booker on the outside, rolls Booker in. Test sees Stacy laying there and just smirks Scott Steiner come down and carried Stacy up the ramp and backstage, Test hits him with the Meltdown for two. Test goes for a Big Boot but Booker ducks and hits him with the axe kick for the win. **

Backstage: Steve Austin now has a black eye on his right eye :hm: Triple H walks up to him and asks what the hell happened to his face? Austin says he was singing in the shower and slipped on the soap Triple H tries to suck up by compliments his job performance, his condition, and his shirt. Austin says that he appreciates it but the match is still on. Triple H gets upset and says that Steve Austin always wanted to be as good as Triple H and that Austin got a little bit a power and is using it to get back at him. Triple H says he's gonna go out there and prove how good he is and win that handicap match.

Trish Stratus comes out to do commentary, Before the match, Val announces that he's starting his own adult film company and offers Victoria a spot in a film “Victoria's DIRTY Little Secretâ€, but Steven him before she can speak.

Val Venis vs. Steven Richards (w/Victoria)
This is pretty much a SQUASH! For another attempt to get Val over, who cares at this point? This isn’t the 90’ anymore does anyone believe Val still does porn?

Backstage: Coachman interviews Nash, Nash says that he's been out of control because his best friend turned on him and at Badd Blood he's going to bloody Triple H up and take his title in HIAC. As for tonight, he's going to sit back and watch and says he hopes Triple H gets his ass kicked, because he deserves it.

Backstage: Terri interviews Christian, Christian gets some cheap heat by making fun of the Mobile crowd. Goldust enters and asks Christian why he's such a dic….diccc-….dictator? and Christian says that guys like Booker T & Goldust just aren't championship material, Booker T then steps in and says he’s gonna whop Christian ass at Badd Blood and win the Intercontinental Championship. NOW CAN YOU DIG DAT! SUCKA! PUNK ASS!

Backstage: Bischoff and Austin argue over who will present Badd Blood, Austin says he's offered free tickets to anybody in the military to Badd Blood. They set up a competition between each other at Bad Blood. Austin says that it's Memorial Day and he's gonna go to the ring and celebrate.

Lillian sings "America The Beautiful" in the ring, but La Resistance comes out. Grenier says there is nothing beautiful about America, all they see is fat and lazy people and that Americans could learn a lot from the French, who are peaceful people. Austin’s music hits and he beats up La Resistance. Austin honor the men & women who fight so that he can be Stone Cold Steve Austin. Austin invites Lilian Garcia back into the ring and offers to do a duet with Lilian Garcia, Austin & Lilian Garcia sing America the Beautiful along with the audience he gets some beers and opens a few for Lilian, who downs them Austin 3:16 style. Austin leaves the ring to shake hands with several servicemen in the front row.

Backstage: Ric Flair is getting ready for his match in his own dressing room, we see a masked man in the background.

Christian vs. Goldust
Christian had new attire he finally got rid of that silly vest or singlet, he now just has pants with a giants C on one side. Lock-up to start and Goldust bullies him into the corner but Christian covers up so the ref breaks it up, Goldust backs up allowing Christian to grab him and throw him in the corner hitting him with punches. Christian goes up for the 10 punch spot but gets shoved down twice on the third try Goldust hits him in the midsection and bulldogs him down for two. They both run the ropes but Goldust misses a crossbody as Christian ducks down and Goldust rolls to the outside. Back in and Christian throws him down and begins to taunt before choking him breaking on 4. Boots now as Goldust try’s his best to fight out but Christian gets the better, snapmare takedown as Christian applies a knee to the back pulling on the neck but Goldust fights out with punches. He whips off the ropes and Christian goes for the leapfrog but drops right onto Goldust’s knee for a not inverted drop but the other one I forget  hard knockdowns and Goldust takes over he goes for the goes for the Curtain Call, but Christian flips through and nails a reverse DDT for two. Christian chokes him on the ropes and goes for the running crossbody but nobody’s there, Goldust goes up and hits the 10 punches of his own. He sets Christian up for the Golden Globes but the ref stops it. He comes charging in but Christian gets a boot up, Christian makes the mistake of charging at Goldust but he counters with a powerslam for the win. WHAT! This was fun times but I would rather a quick rollup or something instead of a fuck powerslam, DAMN YOU WWE. **3/4

Five Minute White Boy Challenge: Bubba Ray Dudley vs. Rodney Mack (w/Theodore Long)
I HATE MY LIFE! Thankfully 2 minutes in Nowinski runs out and nails Bubba in the back of the neck with his facemask allowing Mack to get the win.

Backstage: Bischoff apologizes to La Resistance WHAT! He books Granier vs. RVD in a flag match, and if Sylvan wins, they get a tag title shot at Eric Bischoff Presents Badd Blood.

Backstage: Triple H tries to intimidate Ric Flair, but Flair puts on his robe and yells that he's not a piece of crap He got off the street but he's the Nature Boy. He says, "YEAH, I'M OLD! EVERYBODY GETS OLD, BUT FEW OF US EVER GET GREAT! JUMP ON THE OLD MAN, I DARE YOU! WOOOOOOO!" and walks off.

Flag Match: Rob Van Dam (w/Kane) vs. Sylvan Granier (w/Rene Dupree)
This is terrible, the French guys blow hard in the ring it’s pathetic to see. The match ends when RVD accidentally knocks out the ref, and gets the US Flag, but the ref is still out so Dupree nails Kane in the throat with the US flag before putting the flag back, and Greiner gets the French flag and the ref gets up. *1/2

Chris Jericho comes out for the Highlight Reel, and his guest next week is THE ROCK! OH SHIT! Jericho talks about how nobody wants Bill Goldberg in the WWE, Jericho says how he and Goldberg use to be friends he took Goldberg under his wing, but he realized the bigger the star Goldberg became the bigger hid ego came the bigger jerk he became. He would go on to say it use to make him sick because he had more of a drive, and more passion than Goldberg but he was stuck in the same spot in WCW. Jericho says Goldberg refused to wrestle him while they worked for WCW. TRUE STORY! Jericho says he left WCW, and became one of the best wrestlers in the history of the WWE he then challenges Goldberg to a match at Badd Blood. Goldberg runs down and Chris Jericho gets out of the ring immediately, Goldberg accepts Chris Jericho's challenge. Goldberg calls him an ass, so Jericho steps on the apron which allows Goldberg to grabs Jericho and pulls him into the ring, Jericho sprays Goldberg in the eyes with mace. Chris Jericho then adds to the insult by SPEARING! Goldberg.

Backstage in the parking lot: Jericho tries to leave but the car won’t start and Terri is backing on the window asking him questions

Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels & Ric Flair
Shawn Michaels and Triple H start, they do some stuff for like a minute or so until Shawn tags in Ric Flair. Flair comes in, straight away sucker punches Shawn. RIC FLAIR IS BACK! FUCK YEAH! Triple H gets up, looking surprised they beat down Shawn, as we see masked man knocking Kevin Nash out in the locker room. Triple H hits Shawn with the Pedigree for the win. Post-Match: Ric Flair, Triple H, continue to beat on Shawn Michaels in the ring. Nash comes down and begins to get the better until the masked man huts Nash in the leg with a chair. Triple H hits him several times with a chair, as Flair unmasks the guy and it's Randy Orton! FUCK YEAH! EVOLUTION.

 

[Crippler]

WWE Smackdown 05/29/2003
Pensacola, Florida

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar
WWE Tag Team Champions: Eddie Guerrero & Tajiri
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Matt Hardy

DAT BITCH ZACH IS IN THE CROWD AGAIN!

Torrie Wilson vs. Nidia (w/Jamie Noble)
Sable comes down to the ring to open the show, as guest ring announcer and introduces Torrie from "Loserville" weighing "Way too much!" Torrie Wilson God bless Torrie for trying every week but she isn’t very good. The match ends when Noble was able to distract Torrie and allow Nidia to roll her up with the tights for the pin. After the match, Tazz attacked Noble so he couldn't attack Torrie, Torrie pulled Nidia's jean shorts down and Sable threw water on Tazz for the 2nd week in a row. DA FUCK IS THIS!

In the parking lot: Vince steps out of his limo. He tells the driver to wait, because this won't take long. The limo driver says they're in a handicapped zone, and Vince says he doesn't care and threatens to fire him Vince says it won't take him long to prove that Mr America is Hulk Hogan anyway.

Backstage: Stephanie McMahon is helping to test the Lie Detector machine :hm:

Backstage: Team Angle are walking from around a corner and promise to get their belts back tonight for Kurt, who is due back next week. They then put on their hoods and headed toward the ring.

Backstage: Eddie Guerrero and Tajiri are shown backstage in their locker room. Tajiri is wearing a baggy “CHEAT 2 WIN†and a beanie cap as Eddie gives him congrats on showing a little Latino HEAT. Tajiri says he has Tajiri HEAT! Eddie starts to walk to the ring but Tajiri stops him and shows him car keys. Eddie asks Tajiri how he got the car, Tajiri says "we LIE, we CHEAT, we STEAL!" Tajiri walks off, and Eddie proudly says that he's learning so fast.

WWE Tag Team Championships: Team Angle vs. Tajiri & Eddie Guerrero
Eddie and Tajiri come out in a silver truck with hydraulics, FUCK YEAH! Team Angle jump Eddie and Tajiri as they celebrate on the buckles. Shelton throws Tajiri to the outside as Haas puts the boots to Eddie in the corner, Shelton then gets his shots on as they double team Eddie until the ref breaks it up. Haas whips Eddie into the ropes but Eddie reverses it and hits him with a back elbow, Eddie hits 2 or 3 elbows on Haas before trying to whip Haas into the ropes but Haas counter it into a huge back bodydrop. He throws Eddie out as Eddie begins to hold the knee (the same knee Team Angle worked on last week) Shelton puts the boots to him before throwing him back in and Shelton tags in, Shelton knees him in the midsection a few times but Eddie tries to roll free but Shelton doesn’t let him, instead he whips Eddie into the ropes but Eddie counters with a dropkick. Tag to Tajiri who kicks away on Shelton he counters a Shelton whip with a ‘rana. This time Tajiri tries a whip but Shelton reverses into one of his own but Tajiri flips over with a sunset flip and adds the roll for two. Shelton is dizzy on his feet so Tajiri dropkicks him. Scoop slam to Shelton as Eddie tags in with the helio over the top, Eddie knocks Haas off the apron as Eddie connects with a sick uppercut. Eddie goes off on Shelton in the corner with a little help. Tajiri tags in and they hit a double elbow and Tajiri follows up with a kick to the back then a knee for a two count. He elbows Shelton twice and applies a side headlock but Shelton counters out and they both kick each other in the head for the double KO as we go to commercial. BUT I HAVE FOOTAGE OF WHAT HAPPEN DURING THE COMMERCIAL! Both Haas and Eddie are in the ring now, overlooking tag partners. They get out as the ref begins the double count. They reach at the count of 7 as Haas tries to interfere he grabs a Tajiri boot and Shelton comes in from behind and takes him out by the knee. Haas in and he is all over the knee, and it looks brutal he just stretching it out. He applies the Indian death lock before breaking the hold, he pulls Tajiri to his side of the ring and delivers a knee breaker and tags in Shelton who rumps to the top rope and comes down with a double axe handle on the knee. He now works the knee just pressuring it with an inverted leg bar and I swear his knee in the space of two minutes has been bent every way possible. Haas tags back in and puts the boots to him, before applying a modified half-Boston crab but Eddie has seen enough and he breaks it up, this allows Team Angle to switch and Shelton comes in and applies the same modified half-Boston crab. The ref then makes him break the hold because he didn’t see the tag what? Haas comes back in as Tajiri is so close to making the tag but drops an elbow to the back and pulls him to the centre going back to the knee. This time he does some type of inverted knee lock/figure four but he breaks the hold to tag in Shelton. Haas pulls Tajiri to the ropes and hangs up the knee allowing Shelton to jump over and sit on the knee, JESUS! That looks brutal, I should also mention Tajiri’s knee selling might be some of the best I’ve ever seen. Shelton hooks the le for two, before picking him back up to go for a backbreaker I think, but it gets countered into a spinning headscissors, and Eddie gets the hot tag. He cleans house with clotheslines, and belly-to-back suplexes. Shelton tries to put a stop to that by backing Eddie into the corner but Eddie gives him a monkey flip sending him into Haas knocking both men down. Eddie clotheslines both men, but Haas catches him with a suplex attempt that Eddie reverses to the three amigos. He heads up top as Shelton tries to stop it but is meet with a boot, Frog Splash connects but Shelton breaks it up at two. Eddie walks right into the inverted drop/superkick combo for two as Tajiri breaks it up. Shelton picks Eddie up and Team Angle puts the boots to him and fights off both men, he then tries to leap over Haas but Haas and Shelton both catch him and go for the takedown but Eddie counters into a double DDT. He finally tags Tajiri in and he goes to work with the combos but Haas picks the ankle leading to Tajiri nailing him with the enzuigiri. He still selling the back knee, so he can’t run to Haas who is standing in the corner, Haas picks him up and places him on top he blocks whatever Haas was going for with a tornado DDT attempt but Haas counter that into a northern lights suplex for two, Eddie breaks it up. Shelton comes charging at him but Eddies ducks and Shelton goes flying over the top as Tajiri superkicks Haas. Eddie heads up as Tajiri is still selling the knee and Eddie goes flying onto Shelton wiping him out. Tajiri goes for the death blow but Haas ducks and applies the Haas of pain. Suddenly, the bell rings and Haas thinks he’s won. He gets the ref to raise his hand but he doesn’t and says he didn’t call for the bell. Eddie is back in and he has on of the title belts with him. He goes to hit Haas with it but he ducks a tug of war leads to Eddie to put a belt in Haas’s hands, and then play dead for the DQ. Replay reveals that Eddie rang the bell himself to make Haas break up the move. FUCKIN’ AMAZING STUFF HERE! **** - ****1/4

The lie detector test is set up, Vince McMahon welcomes everyone to “Lie Detector Test†of Mr. America. Vince says this will be the last time they see Hulk Hogan in a WWE ring, and that when Mr. America fails the test, his contact is void, and he'll be fired. Vince notices Zack Gowan in the front row, Vince jokes that after tonight neither Hulk Hogan or Zack Gowan will have a leg to stand on Mr. America then comes out to the ring with a concerned look on his face as the officers hook Mr. America up to the lie detector machine. The officer asks “Are you the man known as Mr. America? “- Yes. DING! “Are you currently sitting in a wrestling ring in Pensacola†- Yes. DING! “Are you currently employed on Smackdown? – Yes. DING! Vince McMahon gets impatient and orders the officer to ask him to ask the question. “Mr. America, are you, Hulk Hogan?†Mr. America asks for a drink of water, Vince McMahon asks the question again, ARE YOU HULK HOGAN? – No. DING! The officer says that he's telling the truth Vince McMahon tells him to ask him again, “Mr. America, are you Hulk Hogan?†– No. DING! Vince McMahon tells him to ask the question properly “Mr. America, ARE YOU Hulk Hogan?†- No. DING! Vince gets PISSED! And asks "Are you Hogan, Hogan, Hogan?" - No. No. No. (DING! DING! DING!) The officer says that Mr. America has passed the test Mr. America gets up and starts to celebrate, but Vince says that if Mr. America can cheat a lie detector test, than so can he. Vince straps himself up onto the machine, and tells them to ask anything. “Are you Vince McMahon?†- Yes I am. DING! “Are you the chairman of the WWE?†- Yes I am. Ding! Mr. America asks “Are you the biggest asshole on God's green earth†- No. Buzz! Mr. America then asks “Are you a sick, perverted, power hungry freak? “- No. Buzz! Vince McMahon says he's a well-respected business man. Buzz! He then says everything he does he does it for people around the world Buzz! Most of you (Buzz!) Some of you (Buzz!) OK, I do it for me, and me only (DING!) But I am NOT A PERVERT! Buzz! Mr. America asks, “Do you spend your time looking at Torrie Wilson's Playboy?†- No. Buzz! Vince says it was a long time ago (buzz!), last month (buzz!), this morning (buzz!), in the limo (DING!) Vince says at least he doesn't fantasize over Mae Young! Buzz! Vince gets says he hates Hulk Hogan DING! He then tries to sucker-punch Mr. America, but Mr. America beats him to the punch knocking him out of the ring.

Backstage: Vince McMahon complains to Stephanie about being made to look like an ass, he blames Stephanie because she was responsible for hiring the officers. Vince says he's beginning to wonder what is going on around here. Stephanie sarcastically suggests she take a lie detector test and Vince says that next week there is going to be a change "for the better" THE VINCE TAKEOVER HAS BEGUN.

Chris Benoit vs. Sean O'Haire w/ Roddy Piper
Poor Benoit, he does what he can but O'Haire is terrible. Benoit puts Piper in the Crossface, but O'Haire hits a shitty kick to the back, and pins Benoit using the tights to win. I HATE THIS COMPANY! **1/2

Backstage: Rey says that there is no doubt in his mind that he will win the WWE Cruiserweight title next week, Rey says that he pulled his groin last week but he's going to keep on going for his "people" Matt walks in and makes fun of Rey's whining, saying nothing will stop him from beating Rey next week. Rey says he is not scared of Matt and slaps him across the face, Matt retaliates by kicking Rey in his already injured groin.

Basham Brothers vs. Brian “Spanky†Kendrick and Rikishi
FUCK OFF!

In the parking lot: Vince McMahon comes out of the arena and finds his limo being towed, the driver tells Vince that he warned him about parking in a handicap zone. Vince tells the driver that he's going to the airport even if the tow truck guy has to drive him. Vince gets in the limo but someone knock on the window, it’s that bitch Zack Gowan he informs Vince McMahon that it's ILLEGAL! To park in a handicap zone, as Vince pulls away yelling he wants to beat him up.

2 on 3 Handicap Match: Brock Lesnar & The Undertaker vs. The FBI & Big Show (w/Nunzio)
Nunzio comes out and says that he's not wrestling because Undertaker injured him last week and says he found a suitable replacement, and introduces the Big Show. Taker drives this beautiful two tone blue and green bike down, this isn’t bad thanks to a Taker, Brock, Show carry job. Show tells Brock to look him in the eyes you son of a bitch, he then tells him he gonna bust him up. Show talks more shit as Brock laughs at him which pisses him off more. All men get in the ring now and Taker is like fuck this and starts unloading with punches to Chucks head as Show and Brock are still talking, Taker puts more boots to him and whips him into the corner but chuck gets an elbow up and clotheslines him down before putting the boots time. Flying clothesline connects by taker who gets a one count, “Old School†by Taker and he tags in Brock who puts the boots to him before killing chick with shoulderblocks and hits him with a belly-to-belly. But Brock makes on mistake and that allows Chuck to attempt to kill the match as the heels take over, the bull comes in but Brock just runs over him and hits him with a suplex. Brock pushes him to the corner where Taker just straight up punches him while he walking as Brock kicks him and Taker tags in, Take picks him off and big boots him before hitting an elbow for two. Slam to the bull but he misses an elbow and the bull tries to do stuff but Taker hits a sweet DDT as the bull runs and tags Show in. Show says he wants Brock and Taker tags him in, hard lock up and it AWESOME! As Brock uses his ridiculous speed to counter everything show throws at him but he walks into a clothesline. Show picks him up and chops him in the corner followed by a headbutt, he scoop slams Brock but misses the legdrop. Brock tries to fight back but he can’t Show show down with normal clotheslines so he picks up speeds and hits him with a flying clothesline knocking him down. Brock then picks him up for an F5 but the bull’s gets spinebusted for breaking it up. But that works as Brock walks right into a chokeslam but taker breaks it up, Show rolls him out as the FBI do a number on Brock as the ref breaks it up. Show tags chuck in who boots Brock down and the FBI continue to do a number on Brock .On the outside Show rams Brock spine first into the post as Take has seen enough. He picks up the steps and everyone goes running away, back in and Chuck gets a two and hits this terrible spinning punch. Bull in but Brock hits him with a clothesline and now both men are down but he does finally get the tag to Taker as Show gets tagged in. Taker cleans house, clotheslining and punching everything in sight. Snake eyes/big boot to the bull as he clotheslines Chuck out but Taker gets hit by Show but he brushes it off and applies the Dragon Sleeper, as the ref is distracted Nunzio comes him and nails Taker in the back with a chair that PISSES! TAKER OFF. He chokeslams Nunzio as Chuck comes in and delivers a superkick then a clothesline to Taker sending him over the top. Brock takes in and hits Chuck with a F5 to both FBI members but show comes him and hits the 2nd chokeslam of the match on Brock for the win. Fun when the 3 good workers were in. **3/4

Smackdown goes off air:

[video=youtube;5Ao6tr2aA_Y]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ao6tr2aA_Y&feature=youtu.be[/video]​