"I don't feel like writing actual song lyrics because nothing sounds good enough for this week's promo."
-"Can't Find A Damn Thing" by The Narrator
The scene begins on the balcony of a monstrous house overlooking Miami Beach. It's 5 PM as the sun slowly begins to set. With beautiful skies and the waves crashing, the view is an absolutely gorgeous sight. The balcony features a couple of chairs, a glass table, and the Awesome One Alex Scott. He is sipping a glass of Scotch as he watches the waves fall. He's wearing a button-up short sleeve shirt, khaki pants, and loafers as well as Aviator sunglasses. He takes a sip before looking to the camera.
<>Alex Scott<>
Surprised? You shouldn't be? Every Canuck eventually gets a house in Florida. We get sick of the constant frostbite on our dicks so we come to the most opposite place that still has good food. Hell, if it's good enough for old Y2J, it's good enough for me.
He takes another sip.
<>Alex Scott<>
I guess you all want to hear about what happened in that tag match last show, eh? Frankly, what I did was an act of mercy. Considering my original plan was to outright Canick the shit out of Sanders from the get-go, just walking out on him was being nice. I at least gave him some hope to come out with a win. Too bad the poor bastard couldn't wrestle his way out of a paper bag...what the Hell does that even mean? Clichés should still make sense, damn it. But anyways, his loss was his own fault. I was tired of dealing with him so I had planned to ditch him from the beginning. That match, in all honesty, was a waste of my time.
The Awesome Alcoholic takes another drink.
<>Alex Scott<>
But then you may wonder, why did I go through with the match? Because the script told me so. Duh! And I'm a damn good employee! Even if it means teaming up with that piece of crap Sanders. And now you ask, "But Alex, you partnered up with him to take out Randall and Riddle." This is true. But I only did that since he was keen on taking out those two assholes anyway. Now, I don't need him. Which means I am very happy that he is one of my opponents this coming show. He should be no problem at all for anyone.
Alex then finishes off his drink before pouring himself another glass.
<>Alex Scott<>
Jesus Christ, I'm tired of this promo already. Unfortunately, there is one more man in this match. Jake Wakefield. Jake had some choice words for me last week then I found very interesting to hear. Claiming that I'm trying to be the...oh, how did he put it...the IWC favorite? I'm trying to drop pipebombs? Really? Am I CM Punk now? Am I pandering to the fans these days? Bullshit. You wanna know who I do this for? Who I try to entertain during all this propaganda? The only person who matters. Me. Frankly, I'm tired of this process. I'd rather just go out there, kick your ass, and be done with it. Instead, wrestling companies want you to promo and show your character to the people to get reactions out of them. If people can't react appropriately to me dropping someone neck first into the mat with a German Suplex or leaping off for an Awesome In Orbit, then they're in the wrong fucking sport. So at the end of the day, Jacob, my main focus is me. Always has been. Someone needs to start paying more attention. Because if you don't, you'll be eating my Crimson boot when we face off.
Alex finishes off his drink quickly.
<>Alex Scott<>
That's all for me this week. Hope you're actually preparing, boys. You'll need all you can get before you step in the ring with me.
The Awesome One then stands up and walks inside. The scene then fades to black.
-------------------------
~Behind the Scenes~
We come back in inside Alex's home, finding Alex pacing back and forth.
<>Alex Scott<>
God, I'm tired of this. Same shit, different week.
Alex turns and looks right into a mirror on the side of a wall.
<>Alex Scott<>
What happened to you? Where's the attitude? Where's the creativity? You're stagnant. If you don't fix your shit soon, you're gonna have it fixed for you. And I know you don't want that.
Alex then turns away from the mirror.
<>Alex Scott<>
I know.
He then walks off as we fade to black.
END
-"Can't Find A Damn Thing" by The Narrator
The scene begins on the balcony of a monstrous house overlooking Miami Beach. It's 5 PM as the sun slowly begins to set. With beautiful skies and the waves crashing, the view is an absolutely gorgeous sight. The balcony features a couple of chairs, a glass table, and the Awesome One Alex Scott. He is sipping a glass of Scotch as he watches the waves fall. He's wearing a button-up short sleeve shirt, khaki pants, and loafers as well as Aviator sunglasses. He takes a sip before looking to the camera.
<>Alex Scott<>
Surprised? You shouldn't be? Every Canuck eventually gets a house in Florida. We get sick of the constant frostbite on our dicks so we come to the most opposite place that still has good food. Hell, if it's good enough for old Y2J, it's good enough for me.
He takes another sip.
<>Alex Scott<>
I guess you all want to hear about what happened in that tag match last show, eh? Frankly, what I did was an act of mercy. Considering my original plan was to outright Canick the shit out of Sanders from the get-go, just walking out on him was being nice. I at least gave him some hope to come out with a win. Too bad the poor bastard couldn't wrestle his way out of a paper bag...what the Hell does that even mean? Clichés should still make sense, damn it. But anyways, his loss was his own fault. I was tired of dealing with him so I had planned to ditch him from the beginning. That match, in all honesty, was a waste of my time.
The Awesome Alcoholic takes another drink.
<>Alex Scott<>
But then you may wonder, why did I go through with the match? Because the script told me so. Duh! And I'm a damn good employee! Even if it means teaming up with that piece of crap Sanders. And now you ask, "But Alex, you partnered up with him to take out Randall and Riddle." This is true. But I only did that since he was keen on taking out those two assholes anyway. Now, I don't need him. Which means I am very happy that he is one of my opponents this coming show. He should be no problem at all for anyone.
Alex then finishes off his drink before pouring himself another glass.
<>Alex Scott<>
Jesus Christ, I'm tired of this promo already. Unfortunately, there is one more man in this match. Jake Wakefield. Jake had some choice words for me last week then I found very interesting to hear. Claiming that I'm trying to be the...oh, how did he put it...the IWC favorite? I'm trying to drop pipebombs? Really? Am I CM Punk now? Am I pandering to the fans these days? Bullshit. You wanna know who I do this for? Who I try to entertain during all this propaganda? The only person who matters. Me. Frankly, I'm tired of this process. I'd rather just go out there, kick your ass, and be done with it. Instead, wrestling companies want you to promo and show your character to the people to get reactions out of them. If people can't react appropriately to me dropping someone neck first into the mat with a German Suplex or leaping off for an Awesome In Orbit, then they're in the wrong fucking sport. So at the end of the day, Jacob, my main focus is me. Always has been. Someone needs to start paying more attention. Because if you don't, you'll be eating my Crimson boot when we face off.
Alex finishes off his drink quickly.
<>Alex Scott<>
That's all for me this week. Hope you're actually preparing, boys. You'll need all you can get before you step in the ring with me.
The Awesome One then stands up and walks inside. The scene then fades to black.
-------------------------
~Behind the Scenes~
We come back in inside Alex's home, finding Alex pacing back and forth.
<>Alex Scott<>
God, I'm tired of this. Same shit, different week.
Alex turns and looks right into a mirror on the side of a wall.
<>Alex Scott<>
What happened to you? Where's the attitude? Where's the creativity? You're stagnant. If you don't fix your shit soon, you're gonna have it fixed for you. And I know you don't want that.
Alex then turns away from the mirror.
<>Alex Scott<>
I know.
He then walks off as we fade to black.
END
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