Fuji reviews Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers

[Fuji Vice]

Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers


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It's now six years since the last Halloween celebration in Haddonfield. Michael Myers, his niece Jamie, and the mysterious Man in Black all disappeared after the explosive end of Part 5. Everyone assumes them all to be dead...but actually, Jamie has been captured by the Man In Black, who has her impregnated. The baby arrives on Halloween eve, and a kind woman named Mary helps Jamie and her baby escape. However, Michael is close behind and although Jamie is able to hide the child, she is soon killed, but not before getting a message out that is heard by Tommy Doyle. He sets out to rescue the child and stop Michael's killing spree once and for all.

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I believe most Halloween fans can agree about a couple of things that occurred in the franchise after Season of the Witch was released. For one, most would say Halloween IV was a great sequel and a wonderful return to form for the series. Second, most would also say that Halloween V, while showing potential, was rushed much too quickly into production and therefore ended up being a lot less effective than its predecessor. Finally, they all agree that Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers could have been a good movie if only the producer’s cut had been released. Or was it that the theatrical cut had flaws but was pretty good? Wait, I know, it was that the producers cut made more sense and the theatrical cut was a total fucking mess. Okay, so I’ll admit that I’m not really sure which of those statements is true, but my personal feelings on the film are encompassed by the last one. I don’t think either version of this film is that special, but there’s no way I’d say the theatrical one was better than anything. In fact, outside of potentially only one other Halloween film (that we’ll be looking at in a couple of days), I’d say The Curse of Michael Myers is the worst of them all. That’s what happens when the studio doesn’t allow proper creative control and so in “honour†of that, I’ll be looking at the version THEY thought would be best; unfortunately basically nobody else did.

"Even the Myers costume sucks this time around!"
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The original film was written by Daniel Farrands, a longtime fan of the series who was attempting to bridge both of the last films with the first two. His script, which ultimately went through ELEVEN re-writes (which has to be some kind of record) was pretty conceptually sound. I mean, sure there’s a lot of unbelievable stuff going on in it, but this is a horror film so logic shouldn’t always be the most important thing. Anyhow, it clearly wasn’t the most important thing in the minds of producer Paul Freeman and director Joe Chappelle, as they continually re-wrote and butchered what he had written while filming the movie. Not only that, Freeman (who had only ever worked as a producer) took it upon himself to shoot the second-unit work AND “help†edit the film. Needless to say this led to Dimension films deciding he was a total moron and subsequently having him shot into space. Alright, so they didn’t do that, but they did step in and change the movie AGAIN, which now makes my count about 468.74 times this film had been altered from script to final product. If you’re thinking that means it’s a total mess on almost every level you’d be absolutely correct and probably more qualified to make this film than either Freeman, Chappelle or anyone at Dimension Films.

"Hello Mr. Rudd, this is the universe calling to remind you that yes, you suck."
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Of course the production staff is only part of the problem with this film, the casting department was also doing their best to fuck things up as well. In fact, while I was writing yesterday’s review for Prince of Darkness and lamenting how awful the cast was I was actually looking ahead to this film and realizing it was worse! There is literally no actor in this film that looks like they should be in it OR that they give a shit about it at all and that includes Donald Pleasance, although in his defense he was basically dying at this point. Someone who wasn’t dying and therefore has no excuse for their piss poor performance here is Paul Rudd. Yes, you read that right, Paul FUCKING Rudd, the same dude who is now best known for being a relatively funny comedic actor (and had previously starred in the classic comedy Clueless) was somehow cast as the lead male in this film! Yeah, so he failed miserably but it’s actually alright because you don’t really notice when comparing him to some of the other bland and uninspired performances here. Mitch Ryan (Lethal Weapon) is cast as the Man in Black AKA Dr. Wynn AKA I don’t give a crap and yes, he sucks. You know who else sucks? The ENTIRE cast EXCEPT George P. Wilbur (Michael Myers) and Marianne Hagan (Kara Strode), who both turn in decent performances in a film full of awful ones. Of course this also means that Dimension films HATED Hagan (although they still signed off on her appearing in the film) claiming she was “too thin†and had a “pointy jawâ€. You just can’t make shit like that up!

"Ssh, no telling people how awful this is, we want their MONEY~!"
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Amazingly, the biggest problem with this film is NOT the meddling producer nor the horrible cast, but something much, much worse AND something that could have been easily remedied. That problem is that we're given so much information through exposition but never actually shown anything of substance. What I've gleaned from this, my 10th viewing of the film over the years, is that Myers is some sort of cursed avatar for a pagan cult. This is meant to explain why he HAS to kill every member of his family and why he's virtually unstoppable. However, while this is all well and good as a story, where the hell is the evidence that shows it in the film? Before you attempt to explain it to me I'll save you the time and tell you that it simply doesn't exist. There is NOTHING here that proves it and no amount of fanboy obsessed ramblings will make me change my mind. Sticking with the original story of Myers simply being an evil HUMAN being that's mind had gone so far off the deep end that it could never be repaired was fine, particularly given that Myers IS that character! Anyhow, story is the main problem of course, but the truth is that basically everything in this film reeks to high heaven and I can honestly say I am never going to watch it (or the producers cut for that matter) again. It’s sad when you can hate a movie so much that you can truly say you’ll never watch it again AND believe yourself. Such is the case with Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers, a curse on not only the franchise, but the viewer as well. 3/10.

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"Coming up tomorrow...Jamie's back...and Michael is ready."​

 

[Wangman Page]

This was one horrible film I still think Halloween H2O is slightly better than this one. Good review. Now that AMC is done with their walking dead marathon they just played Hellraiser and is playing House on Haunted Hill.

Cant wait to tomorrow review

Sent from my Kindle Fire using Tapatalk 2

 

[Kross Rhodes]

I actually enjoyed Rudd for what he was at the time. Could he have been better? Sure, but I thought he did a serviceable enough job with what he was given.

I'd also like to say that I am glad you gave Wilbur props as I see too much shit on him and I thought he did a damn good job.

We'll disagree about the costume as I believe the mask in this one is the creepiest and best looking mask to date and the gray overalls matched him perfectly.

When you say this film shows no evidence of it do you mean this film? Or previous films? Are you taking about him being supernatural? Or more specifically Thorn?

If you're taking specifically this film and specifically Thorn you are absolutely correct. Chappelle did everything in his power to remove of the references to Thorn in the post production editing with asshole and the re-shoots. In the producer's cut it is made quite clear that he IS an avatar for the curse and is at the beck and call of the cult.

Although I loved that in the final cut of the producer's version he proves to be too evil to be controlled and kills Mitch Ryan. #Spoiler

Now as far as previous films and being supernatural it is possible in the very first film he was as you described. Just a man too obsessed with his sisters. When he's shot at the end of the film and disappears maybe he was going to crawl away and die in the bushes. That did not happen and we got several sequels making evident he was not merely human. Bulliets to the eyeballs, being blown up, buried in a mind shaft, repeatedly beaten and shot and stabbed with toxic chemicals have have had no effect on this crazed maniac. Clearly something was driving this man and Farrands provided an answer. Too bad his eleven scripts and the original cut of the film which is still very different than any of his scripts didn't suffice. Never ask a bunch of 14-year-olds what you should do with you movie. I've read five of Farrands scripts and they're all brilliant.

I own the infamous cut of the film and it was pretty good. Not as good as Halloween 4, but I still loved it.

I have to say I agree with your initial diagnosis that this version of the film is a complete mess, but I would say it wasn't anywhere near the worst of the series.

I'd rank the next one you're about to review to be much, much lower. Like the near bottom of boot bottom. Only to be redeemed by Rob Zombie's re-imagining.

I enjoyed this review and all, but I do have to say I am disappointed we NEVER watched this for the Punks Movie LD and it hurts me to hear you'll NEVER watch it again.

 

[Fuji Vice]

This was one horrible film I still think Halloween H2O is slightly better than this one. Good review. Now that AMC is done with their walking dead marathon they just played Hellraiser and is playing House on Haunted Hill.

Yep, it was pretty damn bad. I'm just about to watch H20 so we'll see how I feel when it's over, although I'm not holding out much hope considering LL Cool J is on the poster. As for AMC, I'm happy they're finally showing horror movies again. Looks like The Haunting and House on Haunted Hill are on today, along with a bunch of F13 movies and Mimic. October is the BEST!

We'll disagree about the costume as I believe the mask in this one is the creepiest and best looking mask to date and the gray overalls matched him perfectly.

Haha, actually I meant that as a joke for the picture I was using. I didn't think the Myers outfit was that bad actually, although I'll always prefer the original mask over any other one.

If you're taking specifically this film and specifically Thorn you are absolutely correct. Chappelle did everything in his power to remove of the references to Thorn in the post production editing with asshole and the re-shoots. In the producer's cut it is made quite clear that he IS an avatar for the curse and is at the beck and call of the cult.

Yep, I was just referring to this film and version specifically. I feel there was no need to create a story like that and then not bother to care enough to show it throughout the proceedings. Removing that aspect from the film itself shows complete ineptitude on the part of the director, but then again we already knew he was a fucking idiot right?

Now as far as previous films and being supernatural it is possible in the very first film he was as you described. Just a man too obsessed with his sisters. When he's shot at the end of the film and disappears maybe he was going to crawl away and die in the bushes. That did not happen and we got several sequels making evident he was not merely human.

I supposed Loomis himself constantly making reference to him being something inhuman is enough to show they were hinting at that in previous films. I'd always just passed them off as maniacal ravings since Loomis was clearly going bonkers by this point, but if they were hinting at it there then it all makes a little more sense to me now.

I'd rank the next one you're about to review to be much, much lower. Like the near bottom of boot bottom. Only to be redeemed by Rob Zombie's re-imagining.

I enjoyed this review and all, but I do have to say I am disappointed we NEVER watched this for the Punks Movie LD and it hurts me to hear you'll NEVER watch it again.

As I said to Wang, I can't remember if I disliked H20 more than this one. I'm pretty sure I hated Res more, but we'll have to wait until tomorrow to find out. As for Zombie's films, they can suck dicks and I don't even consider them part of the Halloween series because I hate them so much. :

As for NEVER watching it again, that was partially to make a point about how much I disliked it, but you know me, I can always be swayed to watch something again for a Scary Movie LD. It would have to be the Producer's Cut though, I don't think I can sit through the theatrical one again tbh.