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EXTREME RISING REVIEW
June 30th, 2012
KIF is here for your enjoyment. Everyone loves those ECW reunion's right? They keep gettin' better and better right? Oh well, I'm sure I'll still attack with this pride and courage. Wish me luck, family and friends of WrestleSmarks.com.
Alright enough of that, let's get to this show.
We open with the announcers announcing other announcer's entrances. This sure is unneeded. This promo is pretty out there though. I guess we are just waiting for Joel Gertner to interrupt this baby kid. And oh there he is in all amazing glory. He looks he's almost on his way to a retirement home... I can't wait to see what the others have in store. Alright time to get the action!
Papadon v.s Perry Saturn.
Papadon is apparently a Greek God. We should all bow to this jobber. Saturn sure looks how he probably feels. This isn't the first match I've seen since he decided to get off the missing person lists. He sure looked rusty there. He even looks more anxious here. What the hell is happening here? Saturn is chasing down some attendant for a mic looking like he's on a rampage. He really looks off his rocker and he's getting the crowd to keep up their chants of "You Suck Dick" to Papadon.
So we get some actual wrestling going. Nope, we get some throws or something by Saturn into things pretty much. Then we get some sweet interference after nothing by one of Papadons loser friends. On the other hand we get "Pitbull" Gary Wolfe to save the day for Perry. Then we get a lazy trip up into a sloppy looking roll up by Saturn out of nowhere or more like completely in your mutha fuckin' eye sight!
1/2*
Let's get to something better...
Las Dramaticas v.s The F.B.I.
I don't know about these Dramaticas folks but I'm pretty big on the team Little Guido and Tony Mamaluke for sure. It looks like the Dramaticas can hold themselves decently though. Mamaluke hits a suicide dive DDT that may or may have not been his intention... I really don't know then we get some huge moonsault by one of the masked men on the other team. Did I mention Las Dramaticas have these masks? Whatever. None of these moves being hit are crisp at all anyways.
And... It just continues down this path. The teams start doing big move after big move to each other with horrible set ups and just more sloppy landings. It's just ridiculous. I truly expected much better from Guido & Mamaluke. You guys owe me one.
*
CW Anderson v.s Balls Mahoney.
Here we go some CLASSIC, Old School ECW shit. We also get to see the overweight ass of Blue Meanie ringside. I guess they formed a tag team called Blue Balls. Lets let them have a huge run on Raw. Really though they look very embarrassing dancing together. Anderson looks like a pro. That's pretty much that.
No idea why they bothered to start with a few holds but then again Mahoney always though he was pretty good in the ring. Someone should have really told him otherwise. He's got to have that Nasty Boy sloppy brawling to be worth watching. CW will back up his own shit. Yeah.
I really don't want to rag on Balls anymore his clothes do that do him enough. Anderson hits a sweet Spinebuster that should have ended the match as far as I'm concerned. Instead we get to a point where Meanie slides into the ring jiggling all his fat in our faces as he runs around with a chair. Thanks. Oh you got more for us? The Sandman comes into the ring to attack CW who somehow took out Blue Balls by himself. Well at least they are both laid out at the moment. Sandman has a singapore cane and whacks Anderson off a bunch of times then pours beer into Mahoney's mouth who comes back to life like Frankenstein. Just wonderful.
Oh great the match is still happening? Lets end this with a crappy finish. I guess the finish wasn't that bad considering Meanie was still alive.
*1/4
So now it's time to party in the ring with the Sandman. Of course. He decides that his friends and him are goin' to rape and pillage some of the women in the crowd so they invite them into the ring. Well we get to see some fat, disgusting chick chug a beer in the center of the ring. Bitch, it doesn't work that way. I gotta to be the one that is incredibly wasted to find you attractive. Why would you do this me, Sandman? Okay, okay there was some actual hot chicks so I'll refrain from anything else so sexist. I'll try at least.
Let's get to something more productive...
Shane Douglas gets to rant and rave about how awesome ECW is. Even though he wants to get the crowd behind him as he runs down other companies and other personalities he puts over his Steelers in front of a bunch of Eagles fans. Now going to go through the legacy of the greatest company EVER. He's doing a damn good job at this point. At least there seems to be passion to this unlike most of this show before this.
He's now setting up the ring with a few weapons for an Extreme Lucha Libre match. Okay, hopefully the talent they got for this is going to go all out.
Extreme Lucha, 2 out 3 Falls: Pesadilla vs. Bestia 666.
Bestia 666 is the son of mutha fuckin' Damien 666. Never expected to see his son like this and Pesadilla is apparently Super Crazy's nephew. Pretty even match up, I'd say.
First fall happens pretty quick into this with a weak set up for a Muscle Buster by Bestia. Oh don't forget the extra moonsault for the pin. Extra emphasis. That was just lackluster, though.
Second tornado DDT I've seen to the floor tonight. What a way to open this match up to EXTREME component of it. WHOA! Did I just see that... Kazarian's Flux Capacitor or if you don't know by that Paul Burchill's C-4 right off the apron from Pesadilla on Bestia. Son of a bitch, that was crazy right onto the concrete floor. Now that was just dangerous and really had no build up to it. Second pinfall happens on the floor. I guess that is part of the rules of this match.
Some pretty brutal stuff happening now as the violence steadies itself. If that makes any sense to you! It does to me. This is turning into something pretty awesome actually. One of the announcers keeps bringing up that this has an hour time limit but I can't see it going nearly that long with still half the show left to go. He sounds pretty Blue. So Bestia hits a huge move right after this through a barbwire table for the victory. Good effort but I really think these guys could work on their progression of a match like this. It seemed to jump from one high to the next without much reason other than getting another big spot in. However, it was pretty violent at times which was the total intention of this. I just have my own damn gripes.
**3/4-***
Luke Hawx v.s Stevie Richards.
I've only seen a match or two from Hawx but he's a guy on the Indy scene that deserves another look I think. Hawx I guess has a win over Richards the night before so Richards is out for some revenge here. Oh, there was a bodyguard for Hawx. This sounds incredibly enticing. Doesn't it?
Fuck Hawx is bringin' it right at Stevie. He gonna thrash it up. It looks like Luke is teachin' some lessons right now to the veteran. Gonna need a notebook, Richards? Huh? HUH?!?!
Richards gets back into it by sending Hawx into the steel guardrail off the apron. The fight is escalating. This sure feels a bit intense between these two. Stiff, baby. And then after what was turning into something alright has a pretty noticeable botch in it. Richards resilience keeps him alive though and able to pick up the win. I think Hawx went down rather easily after dishing out most of the punishment though. Eh.
**
Luke's bodyguard shows up again and Stevie gets taken down. Not much to say about this, just typical heel payback. Richards gets a chants of "You Still Got It" which is overused for pretty much any semi-old timer but I think he can still go so I'll leave it at that.
Devon Storm v.s Sabu.
This is should get out of hand. These two psychopaths better get psychotic or I want my bandwith back. Sabu jumpin' off everything and anything. Somehow he's still gettin' just enough air to be effective.
Ah man, Camel Clutch! Well that didn't last long... Is Storm even goin' to be allowed to get control to look like at least somewhat of a threat? Of course we some off center shit from Sabu and we get some ugly spots. Awesome, I knew he couldn't go the entire match without gettin' like that.
Alright, Storm is kickin' some ass now. Lay it on him man. Tearin' apart the guardrail. All in a days work. Well was that connected or not? Okay, Sabu was still half on the guardrail but he says he rolled off so well go with that. What a waste of time that guardrail turned out to be. Jesus, that was a sick chair shot. WWE would have fined Devin Storm is career.
Ummm... No idea what happened for that 30 seconds after that chair shot... Sabu looks quite out of it. He's getting his wits back now. That was a bit scary. Sabu just dove into the crowd so I guess everything is fine. It's not like Sabu hasn't impaled himself during a match before. This is nothing.
Lets get this table spot out of the way so you can win you Arabian Knight. I haven't bought most of what this match is selling. There we go... Wait Devon kicked out the Arabian Facebuster through the table? Why? This shit is getting more and more intensified. Some big nearfalls. Alright there we go Arabian Facebuster to the CHAIR. I jumped the gun, he had to hit it with both. Sorry. We still got ourselves a pretty extreme match which was the entire purpose so alright then.
**1/4
Handshakin'. Double crosses. You know it. Storm is attackin' Sabu like they are totally not friends.
This is where I call it a day. I don't trust New Jack at all so I can't watch the main event. If you want to watch New Jack bring back the Gangstas against BLK OUT be my guest but don't say I didn't warn you. New Jack may make you go blind. So, until next time this was your favorite person ever, KIF.
June 30th, 2012
KIF is here for your enjoyment. Everyone loves those ECW reunion's right? They keep gettin' better and better right? Oh well, I'm sure I'll still attack with this pride and courage. Wish me luck, family and friends of WrestleSmarks.com.
Alright enough of that, let's get to this show.
We open with the announcers announcing other announcer's entrances. This sure is unneeded. This promo is pretty out there though. I guess we are just waiting for Joel Gertner to interrupt this baby kid. And oh there he is in all amazing glory. He looks he's almost on his way to a retirement home... I can't wait to see what the others have in store. Alright time to get the action!
Papadon v.s Perry Saturn.
Papadon is apparently a Greek God. We should all bow to this jobber. Saturn sure looks how he probably feels. This isn't the first match I've seen since he decided to get off the missing person lists. He sure looked rusty there. He even looks more anxious here. What the hell is happening here? Saturn is chasing down some attendant for a mic looking like he's on a rampage. He really looks off his rocker and he's getting the crowd to keep up their chants of "You Suck Dick" to Papadon.
So we get some actual wrestling going. Nope, we get some throws or something by Saturn into things pretty much. Then we get some sweet interference after nothing by one of Papadons loser friends. On the other hand we get "Pitbull" Gary Wolfe to save the day for Perry. Then we get a lazy trip up into a sloppy looking roll up by Saturn out of nowhere or more like completely in your mutha fuckin' eye sight!
1/2*
Let's get to something better...
Las Dramaticas v.s The F.B.I.
I don't know about these Dramaticas folks but I'm pretty big on the team Little Guido and Tony Mamaluke for sure. It looks like the Dramaticas can hold themselves decently though. Mamaluke hits a suicide dive DDT that may or may have not been his intention... I really don't know then we get some huge moonsault by one of the masked men on the other team. Did I mention Las Dramaticas have these masks? Whatever. None of these moves being hit are crisp at all anyways.
And... It just continues down this path. The teams start doing big move after big move to each other with horrible set ups and just more sloppy landings. It's just ridiculous. I truly expected much better from Guido & Mamaluke. You guys owe me one.
*
CW Anderson v.s Balls Mahoney.
Here we go some CLASSIC, Old School ECW shit. We also get to see the overweight ass of Blue Meanie ringside. I guess they formed a tag team called Blue Balls. Lets let them have a huge run on Raw. Really though they look very embarrassing dancing together. Anderson looks like a pro. That's pretty much that.
No idea why they bothered to start with a few holds but then again Mahoney always though he was pretty good in the ring. Someone should have really told him otherwise. He's got to have that Nasty Boy sloppy brawling to be worth watching. CW will back up his own shit. Yeah.
I really don't want to rag on Balls anymore his clothes do that do him enough. Anderson hits a sweet Spinebuster that should have ended the match as far as I'm concerned. Instead we get to a point where Meanie slides into the ring jiggling all his fat in our faces as he runs around with a chair. Thanks. Oh you got more for us? The Sandman comes into the ring to attack CW who somehow took out Blue Balls by himself. Well at least they are both laid out at the moment. Sandman has a singapore cane and whacks Anderson off a bunch of times then pours beer into Mahoney's mouth who comes back to life like Frankenstein. Just wonderful.
Oh great the match is still happening? Lets end this with a crappy finish. I guess the finish wasn't that bad considering Meanie was still alive.
*1/4
So now it's time to party in the ring with the Sandman. Of course. He decides that his friends and him are goin' to rape and pillage some of the women in the crowd so they invite them into the ring. Well we get to see some fat, disgusting chick chug a beer in the center of the ring. Bitch, it doesn't work that way. I gotta to be the one that is incredibly wasted to find you attractive. Why would you do this me, Sandman? Okay, okay there was some actual hot chicks so I'll refrain from anything else so sexist. I'll try at least.
Let's get to something more productive...
Shane Douglas gets to rant and rave about how awesome ECW is. Even though he wants to get the crowd behind him as he runs down other companies and other personalities he puts over his Steelers in front of a bunch of Eagles fans. Now going to go through the legacy of the greatest company EVER. He's doing a damn good job at this point. At least there seems to be passion to this unlike most of this show before this.
He's now setting up the ring with a few weapons for an Extreme Lucha Libre match. Okay, hopefully the talent they got for this is going to go all out.
Extreme Lucha, 2 out 3 Falls: Pesadilla vs. Bestia 666.
Bestia 666 is the son of mutha fuckin' Damien 666. Never expected to see his son like this and Pesadilla is apparently Super Crazy's nephew. Pretty even match up, I'd say.
First fall happens pretty quick into this with a weak set up for a Muscle Buster by Bestia. Oh don't forget the extra moonsault for the pin. Extra emphasis. That was just lackluster, though.
Second tornado DDT I've seen to the floor tonight. What a way to open this match up to EXTREME component of it. WHOA! Did I just see that... Kazarian's Flux Capacitor or if you don't know by that Paul Burchill's C-4 right off the apron from Pesadilla on Bestia. Son of a bitch, that was crazy right onto the concrete floor. Now that was just dangerous and really had no build up to it. Second pinfall happens on the floor. I guess that is part of the rules of this match.
Some pretty brutal stuff happening now as the violence steadies itself. If that makes any sense to you! It does to me. This is turning into something pretty awesome actually. One of the announcers keeps bringing up that this has an hour time limit but I can't see it going nearly that long with still half the show left to go. He sounds pretty Blue. So Bestia hits a huge move right after this through a barbwire table for the victory. Good effort but I really think these guys could work on their progression of a match like this. It seemed to jump from one high to the next without much reason other than getting another big spot in. However, it was pretty violent at times which was the total intention of this. I just have my own damn gripes.
**3/4-***
Luke Hawx v.s Stevie Richards.
I've only seen a match or two from Hawx but he's a guy on the Indy scene that deserves another look I think. Hawx I guess has a win over Richards the night before so Richards is out for some revenge here. Oh, there was a bodyguard for Hawx. This sounds incredibly enticing. Doesn't it?
Fuck Hawx is bringin' it right at Stevie. He gonna thrash it up. It looks like Luke is teachin' some lessons right now to the veteran. Gonna need a notebook, Richards? Huh? HUH?!?!
Richards gets back into it by sending Hawx into the steel guardrail off the apron. The fight is escalating. This sure feels a bit intense between these two. Stiff, baby. And then after what was turning into something alright has a pretty noticeable botch in it. Richards resilience keeps him alive though and able to pick up the win. I think Hawx went down rather easily after dishing out most of the punishment though. Eh.
**
Luke's bodyguard shows up again and Stevie gets taken down. Not much to say about this, just typical heel payback. Richards gets a chants of "You Still Got It" which is overused for pretty much any semi-old timer but I think he can still go so I'll leave it at that.
Devon Storm v.s Sabu.
This is should get out of hand. These two psychopaths better get psychotic or I want my bandwith back. Sabu jumpin' off everything and anything. Somehow he's still gettin' just enough air to be effective.
Ah man, Camel Clutch! Well that didn't last long... Is Storm even goin' to be allowed to get control to look like at least somewhat of a threat? Of course we some off center shit from Sabu and we get some ugly spots. Awesome, I knew he couldn't go the entire match without gettin' like that.
Alright, Storm is kickin' some ass now. Lay it on him man. Tearin' apart the guardrail. All in a days work. Well was that connected or not? Okay, Sabu was still half on the guardrail but he says he rolled off so well go with that. What a waste of time that guardrail turned out to be. Jesus, that was a sick chair shot. WWE would have fined Devin Storm is career.
Ummm... No idea what happened for that 30 seconds after that chair shot... Sabu looks quite out of it. He's getting his wits back now. That was a bit scary. Sabu just dove into the crowd so I guess everything is fine. It's not like Sabu hasn't impaled himself during a match before. This is nothing.
Lets get this table spot out of the way so you can win you Arabian Knight. I haven't bought most of what this match is selling. There we go... Wait Devon kicked out the Arabian Facebuster through the table? Why? This shit is getting more and more intensified. Some big nearfalls. Alright there we go Arabian Facebuster to the CHAIR. I jumped the gun, he had to hit it with both. Sorry. We still got ourselves a pretty extreme match which was the entire purpose so alright then.
**1/4
Handshakin'. Double crosses. You know it. Storm is attackin' Sabu like they are totally not friends.
This is where I call it a day. I don't trust New Jack at all so I can't watch the main event. If you want to watch New Jack bring back the Gangstas against BLK OUT be my guest but don't say I didn't warn you. New Jack may make you go blind. So, until next time this was your favorite person ever, KIF.
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