Between The Lines: Total Divas Episode 1

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Postman Dave

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A bit of background first.

Back in the wonder year of 2011, good ol' LB had a stream of thoughts columns right here at Pulse Forums *cheap pop*. Just as he was gaining steam however, Brandon decided to push the big red button and we said goodbye to the last six months worth of content on this here site. With bigger fish to fry at the time, I retired "Between the Lines" to focus on rebuilding.

Then lot's of stuff happened here and there and it never returned. Until now.

Now here's the pre-warning. I don't watch wrestling as much as I used to. So rather than a regular schedule, I'll just run these through whenever I find a show worth tackling. Hopefully I'll chuck some MMA related content in here too for variety (The Ultimate Fighter?)

So yeah, buckle up, cause we back!

terrytate_02-1.jpg


totaldivas.jpg

Okay, let's see what the fuss is all about. I've put up with ANTM for several years so I should be conditioned to this sort of tripe.

- Why are the Funkadactyls using shoot names and the Bella's aren't?

- "We are pretty good at what we do" Woah, let's not go overboard with the self confidence ladies

- Jon Uso doesn't quite have the same ring to it

- 5 minutes in and there are still credits rolling on the bottom left of the screen

- Oh man they REALLY want this to work, enough to drag Cena's ass into it

- And he just recreated a scene from "The Notebook" with Nikki. This is like the Twilight Zone of wrestling programmes

- If you told me 5 years ago Daniel Bryan would go from ROH to this, I'd have called you some very unpleasant words

- Awww, that poor delicate John Cena

- Wow Bryan, way to go against Bros before Ho's dude

- Sure fire way to stop someone robbing a WWE production truck: putting Ted Dibiase (the shit one) and Jinder Mahal on the back

- "Dunno if you've seen the card yet for Wrestlemania" It's SEVEN days before, you'd like to think she has

- The Bella's are The Rock of the Diva's division. Mind=blown

- Jojo is only 19 and already on TV. Paige fans worldwide have a meltdown

- Eva Marie is quite hot

- Natty is The Chaperone? HHH must be busy...

- Life crisis, hair problems, perfectly comparable issues

- HAHAHAHA "dye your hair blonde, we don't want you looking like a Bella" WHILST NATTY IS STANDING RIGHT THERE

- Holy shit, Maven would laugh at those eyebrows

- Brodus Clay the fucking ring general

- Seriously, what is with the mix of shoot/kayfabe names? It's bloody confusing

- HAHAHAHA Bella's are veterans

- Nikki: "Why the heck would WWE hire someone who looks like me?" YOU HAVE A TWIN. SHE'S RIGHT THERE. FOR F**KS SAKE

- Nikki: "That's a good idea, because people keep saying you look like me" *Bangs head into keyboard. Repeatedly*

- If this was ANTM, bitch would have been shaved bald by now

- What's great about this Wrestlemania thing is knowing how it ends

- Not red hair. People might mistke her for Alicia Fox

- For the record, I constantly confuse Heath Slater for Sheamus. One of them needs to change hair colour

- They may as well spend the entire programme having someone holding their middle finger up to Natalya

- John Cena has had more character development in this show than the last 5 years on Raw

- Cena's facing The Rock in the WM main event tomorrow SO LET'S HAVE THIS CONVO ABOUT COMMITMENT NOW

- "The match before us went way over" I wonder whhho's matchhh thhhat was

- Loved how the programme suggested it was Punk/Taker though. Because that's FAAAAARRRRR more acceptable

- To think how much better that show would have been had that match not been cut. Shame

- Any we're done thank christ
 

Hoss

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I didn't catch the first episode but I watched an episode last night with Eva trying to be Fandango's dance partner and The Bellas visiting each other's man's houses or whatevs. I think you should stick with the show, it's pretty funny how often they unintentionally burn Natalya and even though the Bellas are complete and utter bitches, it's probably still the most interesting thing that comes on E! in the US.
 

The Viper

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I fucking love Total Divas. Highly entertaining and exceeded my expectations.